


Chasing Stars

by MissBell_86



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action & Romance, Angst, Angst and Romance, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Love, Romance, Secret Identity, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2020-10-24 07:21:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20702114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBell_86/pseuds/MissBell_86
Summary: Poe Dameron has no plans when he stepped on Hosinian Prime. He had hoped for an easy night where he could enjoy good food, good beer, and good company. He had expected that trouble would have followed him.What he hadn't expected however, was her.Haunted by her past, Amara has no desire to bring more attention to herself and part of doing so was hiding who she was from everyone around her. She had made it her mission to stay as far away from the First Order and from the Resistance as possible. If either side found out who she was, that meant that her life was over. She wanted nothing more than to escape to a remote part of the galaxy and start her life over. She wanted to have the life that was stolen from her. But when opportunity to begin anew is within her grasp, a certain pilot walks into her cantina and changes everything in her life forever.





	1. A Great Plan

**CHAPTER 1**

_A Great Plan_

He knew he was never going to live this down. There is no way that Snap, Kare, or Jess would ever let him live this down. As he shifted, he hissed as he felt the rope cut into his skin.

He knew he shouldn’t have followed that pretty, little blonde upstairs. But the way she gave him that _come and get me_ stare he couldn’t resist. It had been a damn long time since he had gotten any tail and that blonde looked like she was down for a good connect-disconnect. It all seemed like a good plan.

It was a great plan.

Until it wasn’t.

\--

“To black squadron!” The entire team held up their mugs and cheered before downing their drinks in unison.

Jess coughed as the crude drink burned her throat. She hissed as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “God what is this piss?” She grumbled as she eyed the mug suspiciously.

“Just shut up and enjoy it. Who knows when we will get some time off again,” Kare remarked as she tried to get the attention of a passing waitress. Poe’s eyes locked onto the tight backside of one as she passed by, hypnotized by the sensual movement. When she looked down at him as she passed, she winked. “_The irresistible Poe Dameron”_, he thought and smiled.

“What do I gotta do to get some attention over here!” Kare seethed as she threw her hands up in the air. She plopped back down in the booth and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m giving you attention,” Snap chimed in suggestively as he wiggled his eyebrow.

Kare rolled her eyes and grunted. “Give me a few more of these first,” she held up her mug and wiggled it in the air. “And then we’ll talk.”

Poe chuckled as he shook his head, looking at the two in amusement. He was used to this song and dance that Kare and Snap played. He knew that their feelings for each other were deep and that they shared a mutual attraction. At some point Kare wanted to put the brakes on their entire relationship, to the irritation of Snap. War could do that to a person. He remembered the stories his parents told him. Stories about people who had loved ones go off to fight, only to be never seen again by those who loved them the most. His father told him about how the Jedi swore off all attachments. Attachment led to jealousy as well as the fear of loss. You react differently when everything you have to lose is standing right beside you. It was one of the reasons why Poe had only casual relationships, at least right now.

Looking at Snap and Kare, however, anyone could see that what they had was not something that could be ignored. Even they could see it, but they were just too damn stubborn to do anything about it. Although, he knew that their will only held out for so long. The walls were pretty thin back at the base, and he definitely heard more than he wanted to after they thought everyone was down for the night.

Poe reached out and gestured for everyone to hand him their empty mugs. “Give those to me. Let me see about getting us some refills.” Kare and Snap gave him their mugs in delight, while Poe did not miss the groan Jess gave as she handed him her mug reluctantly. Poe took the mugs and sauntered towards the crowded bar.

After their last mission, they needed to find a place to refuel and replenish supplies. After debriefing with General Organa, she gave them the all clear to take a few nights off. “You four have done a great deal for the resistance. It’s about time you did something for yourselves for a change,” General Organa told them after they returned from their latest mission. That’s why the squad decided to make a pitstop at Hosinian Prime.

Hosinian Prime was a planet in the Hosinian system and served as the capital of the new republic. New buildings were being constructed while the Senate Building was in the process of being remodeled. Hosinian Prime was starting to appear as it once did during the Old Republic. However, Black Squadron was not here to see the capital. Instead, they were drawn to what lied below the flittering skyscrapers of the Galactic City.

The Hosinian Prime Underworld was an urban epicenter to the planet’s seedy underbelly. It was a metropolis with a microclimate of its own that was left untouched by the new galactic government due to the reconstruction efforts. The dank alleyways were filled with artificial illumination that gave the city a distinct glow as if the underworld was on fire. The rumblings of the machines that served the elite above echoed along the heavily populated thoroughfares, giving a distinct backdrop for the various sounds of bands playing within the different cantinas. Its streets were haunted by gangs and extortionists, and the ground was riddled with vermin that appeared to spawn from the steaming vents on the streets. The hot steam was a result of all the scattered waste from the industrial zones that was held beneath the city in a special loading zone before it was either recycled or tagged for destruction. One knew better than the walk the streets without a mask filtering the air.

Even though the place appeared inhabitable, it was down here where all the excitement happened, and where thousands of people flocked to every night for an escape. The underworld was home to all the gaming circles as well as the best nightclubs this galaxy had to offer. The kind of clubs where the liquor flowed, and you were able to take a vacation from being over inhibited. Where the bold promise of money and sex was whispered to you from every corner. Here you could do whatever you wanted, 24 hours a day and there was no one here to judge you for your vices. Here there is no First Order or Resistance telling you what is right or wrong, or what you can and can’t do. Here the only language was money and the motto here was, “_If you can afford it, it’s yours.”_

And tonight, Poe was happy to pay. It had been a long time since General Organa first approached him with the opportunity to join the Resistance. Poe did not hesitate in accepting the position of commander of his own squadron. His continued service to the Resistance led Poe to becoming one of General Organa’s most-trusted operatives. He completed numerous recon missions for the resistance, broke out of prison, and he even helped protect a giant egg.

Poe smiled at the memory. _That’s a long story and if we’re going to go that route I’ll need more alcohol._

But with every great story there is a story of heartbreak hidden within. Poe had lost one of his own not too long ago. Poe closed his eyes for fleeting moment, his jaw clenched as he remembered the ultimate sacrifice his friend, L'ulo L'ampar, made. It was because of his fellow comrade that Poe, Snap, Kare, and Jess were able to still be here. The whole team had been through a lot. And it was about time that they had some fun. That’s why the team found themselves at _The Red Veil_. One of Hosinian Prime’s more popular hot spots. As always, the cantina was packed. Passing traders seemed to be the primary clientele here. Several long tables were occupied with separate groups who, after having quite a few drinks, tried to compete for the honor of being liveliest group in the cantina. The other, smaller tables were occupied by couples who were in the beginning stages of livening up their nights. He recognized some of the women at the tables wearing the bright crimson uniform that the Red Veil was famous for.

Known as being one of the more sensual cantinas in the galaxy, the waitstaff were entirely made up of women, with each one dressed more scantily clad than the last. Dark crimson curtains were draped down the walls, with bright pink neon lights mounted within. Smartly placed holograms of dancers gyrating suggestively added to the intoxicating atmosphere. In the corner, a band provided a smooth hypnotic beat that felt as if it were casting a spell on the patrons, causing them to sway to the music. As Poe walked through the crowd, he felt multiple bodies press up against his, smoothing their hands across his body as he navigated towards the bar. When he finally approached the bar, he caught sight of a Klatooinian banging his mug on the counter.

“Hurry up!” The Klatooinian boomed, slamming his fist upon the bar.

“You’re going to have to wait your turn like everyone else Pharx.” A woman’s voice spoke with a simple directness over the loud noises in the cantina. “Lila is on her break so it’s just me right now.”

“I been waitin’ a long time!” He barked roughly.

“And just for that you’ll continue to wait,” she said in a level tone. “Or I can just piss in a glass and call it Jawa Beer. Your call.”

The Klatooinian sneered in disgust as he sat back in his stool, resigning to the fact that he was forced to continue to wait for his drink. He looked at Poe. What you lookin’ at meat bag?” He growled, his eyes narrowed as his lip curled up into a sneer.

Poe held up his hands calmly, not wanting to provoke him any further. “Easy there, big guy. Just trying to get a drink, just like you.” He squeezed in next to him and put the empty mugs on the bar top. As he looked up he saw the woman Phrax was speaking to.

She had her back to him as she was filling up a row of glasses. She was fairly petite, her head barely reaching above the bar taps. Her hair was styled in a short bob that went just below her ears. What took him by surprise however, was the bright blood red color it had, that appeared to glow under the neon lights. Even with all the excitement going on around them, her bright hair was like a red beacon, that called all attention to her. As she strode to the other side of the bar, he took notice of how she balanced six glasses that were filled to the brim with beer in her small but careful hands.

His eyes traveled down her small frame. Like the rest of the women in the cantina, her outfit left little to the imagination. She was wearing a red halter top that matched the bright red of her hair. He breasts were lifted and on display like two pieces of ripe fruit ready for picking. While the other women wore skirts, she was wearing a pair of red shorts that went no further than the curve of her beautiful and tight backside.

He took note of how her hips glided back and forth with each step. She moved with such a feline grace that she reminded him of a tusk cat, stalking its way across the golden sands of Tatooine. The way the light danced across her skin allowed him to see the tinge of bronze under the ochre color that was her skin.

While she was a very small woman, she exuded the confidence of someone who was twice her size. He watched as she dropped off five of six the mugs to the group of laughing human males at the far end of the bar, smiling as she exchanged their drinks for credits. She paused for a moment as she leaned in to listen to something a young man whispered into her ear. After a moment she laughed. His heart quickened at the sound of her laugh, which was light and radiated across her entire face.

She took the remaining beer that was in her hand and walked towards where Poe was sitting. He felt himself instinctively straightening his posture and ran his hand through his hair. He watched as she slid the beer in front of the Klatooinian sitting beside him. Phrax cursed under his breath, left his credits and immediately vacated his seat. As she picked up the credits he left behind, paying no attention to Phrax’s abrupt exit, she turned to Poe and nodded her head. “Whatcha drinkin’?”

Poe gestured to the mugs in front of him as he took the seat that the Klatooinian left empty. “Starfire 'skee.”

The woman reached under the counter, pulled out an unlabeled jug and began to fill his cups. “Careful, flyboy… too much of these and Dorgon over there will have to carry you and your group out of here by your feet.” She nodded towards an ugly Gamorrean standing up against the wall, his close-set eyes eyeing the crowd slowly. While most Gamorreans were heavy and squat in nature, this one appeared to be on the taller end of most of his race and definitely bulkier. Poe had no plans to be dragged out of this place by that boar. _Well… at least not tonight._

Poe smirked and was slightly impressed that this bartender was able to pick up on the fact that he was a pilot. They all changed into civilian clothes before heading out that evening and tried to keep a low profile. To the unsuspecting eye they were just a group of friends enjoying the night out. He tilted his head. “And what makes you think I’m a flyboy, tusk cat?”

The woman smirked. Obviously, his little nickname for her was amusing. “I’ve seen my fair share of pilots. All you are the same.” She said indifferently.

Poe leaned over the counter, getting closer to her. “How so?” he prodded.

She continued to pour, not looking up from her task. “Cocky. Arrogant. A Show Off. Impulsive.”

Poe laughed. “Hey now… We’ve barely even spoken! How can you even gather all that information about me so fast?”

She topped off the last mug. “Like I said… I’ve seen my fair share of pilots.” She put the jug of Starfire ‘skee back under the bar and pushed the mugs towards him.

Poe put the credits on the table, paying for the drinks. As she reached for the money, he put his hand over hers, feathering his thumb over the back of her palm. It didn’t escape him how smooth her skin felt underneath his calloused palm. “All pilots might be the same tusk cat… but you haven’t been with me. And for the record, I’m not just a pilot. I’m the _best_ pilot in the galaxy.”

She raised an eyebrow, not moving her hand. She scanned him up and down as if she was sizing him up, assessing him. She appeared to consider him for a moment before shaking her head. “Like I said… Cocky… Arrogant... A Show Off...” She slowly pulled her hand out from under his. “And Impulsive. Enjoy your drinks flyboy.”

Poe watched her as she walked away. She immediately turned to the next person closest to her that was holding credits in the air trying to get her attention. She listened for a moment before lining up a row of shot glasses. She didn’t give him another glance.

Poe shrugged as he picked up the drinks and turned back towards his squad. As his eyes scanned the room he spotted a curvy blonde standing in the corner. As she looked up and made eye contact with him, she bit the corner of her lip, and tilted her head upwards, giving him a perfect view of her long and slim neck. She ran her hand sensually down the side of her neck and down the front of her cherry red skintight dress, her fingers slowing as they curved around her very large breasts. He nodded to her as he smiled and took a sip of his drink. _There are definitely other stars in the galaxy_.

\--

After a few games of pool where Jess swept them all under the rug, a few lucky rounds of cards against a group of Devaronians, and after their fourth round of drinks the crew was settling in for the evening. Jess sat at their booth with her head face down on the table, groaning at the amount of alcohol she consumed. Snap was on the other side of the booth with Kare draped across his lap, groaning for completely different reasons. Poe was about to comment on their open display of affection when he felt a light hand on his shoulder.

He looked up and saw a very familiar blonde standing in front of him, her cherry red dress sparkling in the neon light. It was so tight on her body that it appeared to have been put on with a paint brush as opposed to being latex fabric.

“Hey there handsome…” she said breathily, as she ran her fingers up and down the lapel of his leather jacket.

Poe sat back against the booth and gave her a wide smile. “Hey there yourself…” He was accustomed to beautiful women approaching him when he was out. Lately he hadn’t partaken in such pleasure. With everything going on with the Resistance he just didn’t have the time to slow down and really savor the taste of a woman. Watching the way this woman next to him rolled her body against his, and the way her sweet smell invaded his senses, it was enough to make him hungry. She looked ripe and ready to pick, and suddenly he was filled with the urge to reach out and take a bite.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his ear, nibbling lightly. “Do you want to go upstairs?” She took her hand and reached into the top of his shirt, flattening her palm against his chest.

At that moment his brain short circuited and Poe forgot everything. He looked towards the rest of his team, all of them lost in their own worlds. He shut down the sensors in his brain and let his body take over. “Sounds like a good plan.” He damn well needed this he told himself and he let her lead him from the bar and up the back stairway.

_What could go wrong?_


	2. Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe finds himself at the mercy of someone unexpected.

CHAPTER 2

_Mercy_

Poe squinted, trying to make out the dimly lit room he was now in. He groaned as he had awoken with one hell of a headache. He could feel warm liquid dripping down the side of his head, that seemed to be coming directly from the source of his head pain. The last thing he remembered was being hit in the head by something hard. “That’s going to leave a mark,” he groaned.

As he tried to reach up to touch the wound, he realized that he was unable to move. He looked down and saw that he was firmly tied to a metal chair, his hands locked behind his back, the rough rope tied in a crisscross across his over his chest and around the legs of the chair. This wasn’t the usual cable binding that the First Order used. No, this was crude rope that was a bitch to remove due to it biting into the skin with every movement.

He was royally carbon flushed.

He hissed as he struggled. With every move, the rope seemed to tighten, cutting into his wrists and legs. He tried to reach into his back pocket, hoping that blasted _Schutta_ hadn’t robbed him of everything.

He paused as he heard a light creak as the door to the room opened. He looked up, expecting to see that blonde woman, or worse someone from the First Order. Instead he raised an eyebrow as he caught sight of a familiar shade of bright red. It was the bartender.

He heard her sigh as she reached up and pulled at her bright red hair. In one fluid motion she pulled off the wig. A wave of silky chocolate curls fell past her shoulders and curled just above the curve of her buttocks, drawing his eyes to their sweet, toned shape. When she looked up and saw him she gasped. “Oh, my stars I’m so sorry! I thought this room was empty,” she said in shock as she averted her eyes, struggling to find somewhere to focus her gaze. Eventually she settled for the floor. “Usually the girls put a scarf on the door letting us know these rooms were occupied. Typically, they don’t use this area though. This hall is reserved for our private use. I’ll umm… I’ll just-” she stammered as she started to close the door.

“No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!” Poe struggled at the ties, cursing as he felt that rope tighten again.

She paused, leaving the door slightly ajar as she stood in the doorway. He heard a light tapping on the floor. When he looked down at her feet he noticed that she was lightly tapping her foot. She appeared to be impatient and did not like that she was being held up. He gathered that this room was possibly used as a breakroom of sorts for the girls of this establishment, and him being here impeded on her downtime.

“Maybe you can help me…” He pleaded.

She shook her head. “Sorry guy… I just pour drinks. Plus, my shift is over. If you want more company, you will have to take it up with the woman you’re here with when she comes back.” She finally raised her head and looked at him. Her eyebrows raised as she seemed to recognize him. “Ah… flyboy. You definitely are full of surprises.” She eyed him suspiciously, her eyes narrowing as she assessed his current state. Seeming to decide that he was not a threat, she walked inside the room and closed the door behind her. He eyes followed her as he watched her walk over to a set of storage lockers that was up against the wall by the door. She punched in a code on the keypad on one of the units and opened the door. She pulled out a large leather rucksack and opened it, stuffing the red wig inside.

Poe couldn’t stop himself from laughing at that moment. Here he was, tied up to a chair, awaiting whatever threat was coming his way, and this woman thought he was just being kinky.

“Sorry babe… not this time unfortunately. I find myself in a rather compromising situation that I have no idea how I got into,” he explained.

Actually… he did know. And frankly, he should have known better.

He was in this situation because he let his cock rocket do the thinking. If his brain hadn’t short circuited at the sight of that blonde’s massive assets he would have seen that he was walking into a trap. When he walked upstairs he noted that there wasn’t anyone in this area. This hallway was not decorated like the others. The hallway that was used for typical meetups was adorned with fabric and soft lighting like the rest of the cantina and the sounds of pleasure echoed into the halls adding to the erotic scene.

This hall she led him down however, was different. Instead of being plush and sensual, the walls were cold and concrete. The only thing echoing into the hall was the sound of their footsteps. This hallway seemed more business than pleasure. If he wasn’t as ravenous as a rabid Anooba in heat, he would have noticed that something wasn’t right. When she opened the door to the room and gestured inside, he noticed that the room was small. There was not a bed in the corner but instead a small cot and a small wash basin on the floor. In the middle of the room there was a single chair. On the floor beside it was a rope.

She was prepared.

And before he knew it he was knocked out.

Now he was here, staring at this unapologetically apathetic woman, completely at her mercy. He watched as she pulled out a worn sweater that was hanging in the locker and lifted it up over her head. Internally he said a small prayer in remembrance of the sight of her perfectly taught breasts, that were once on magnificent display, but were now covered by the rusty brown of the oversized sweater that completely drowned her slight frame.

“Well flyboy… if you didn’t book this add-on then it looks like one of two things happened to you. Either, one you didn’t pay for services and you’re here as punishment until Dorgon comes up here to rough you up.”

“Tusk cat… I’ll have you know that I don’t have to _pay _for sweet time with a female. They usually come to me.” He wrestled again at the ties around his wrists. _Damnit these are on here good. Did this woman work for the navy or something?_

“I’m sure they do handsome,” she quipped in a patronizing tone. She picked up a brush that was placed on a small table beside the lockers and went over to a mirror that was behind mounted on the back of the door. She began running the hairbrush through her hair.

“If you untie these ropes I’ll show you why women like your blonde friend come running.” He prodded and winked.

He saw the corners of her mouth twitch in the reflection of the mirror, as if she was holding back a smile. She took one long look at him before she rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Well based on your attitude flyboy,” she continued. “I will have to go with scenario number two.”

Poe tugged on the binds holding him in place. He felt like he almost got his arm out of the bind. But as he felt the rope pinch his skin he started to wonder if he should work on getting his legs free instead. “And what scenario is that tuck cat?” he asked, making sure to place emphasis on his pet name for her. If she was going to continue calling him flyboy then it was only fair that he got to keep his nickname for her.

“Someone has a price on your head.” She said matter-of-factly. “The woman you came up here with, Chiara, is very resourceful.”

“How did you know who I came up here with?” Poe asked inquisitively. “Paying attention to me, have you?”

The bartender paused, before turning to put the hair brush back on the table. She ran her fingers through her curly hair and turned from the mirror. Poe did not miss the fact that she was now avoiding his gaze. “Chiara does things for the highest bidder,” she began, ignoring his question. “And what she does isn’t limited to just her… private services that she offers at the cantina.” She looked up at him then. “People seek out Chiara because she is able to get information out of people. Most guys typically fall for her. You can’t be blamed for taking the bait. You’re not the first and you definitely won’t be the last.”

Poe shrugged again. “Well you’re not wrong there. She was definitely easy pickings and she appeals to a lot of different palates.” He leaned forward as far as the bindings allowed him. “However,” he said, making a show of eyeing her up and down. “I personally like things a little spicier.”

She ignored his last statement. “If you truly are the best pilot in the galaxy like you think you are flyboy-”

“Poe.”

She paused. “What?”

“If you’re going to make assumptions about me, then you should at least know my name. It’s Poe Dameron. And don’t be mistaken babe.” He grinned. “Just ask anyone who the best pilot in this galaxy is, they will all mention my name.” Poe said confidently.

“Well, _Poe Dameron_, you probably haven’t gotten the title of ‘Best Pilot in the Galaxy’ by playing it the straight and narrow.” She held out her finger and pointed towards him. “My guess is that you either work for the First Order or for the Resistance. And since now a days the streets are starting to fill up more and more with First Order, I am going to go with you being part of the later.”

“How very astute of you,” he mumbled. Poe looked over his shoulder, trying to get a better look at his wrists. If he wriggled his thumb against his palm and used tried wedging his pinkie from his other hand underneath the binding, he just might be able to squeeze his hand through.

She sat on the floor and grabbed a pair of boots that were sitting on the ground by the door. She began to put them on and weave the laces through the eyelets of the boots. Noticing the vibrant bronze of her skin, he couldn’t’ stop from wondering if her legs felt as smooth as her hands.

“Get me out of here and I’ll make sure you’re handsomely rewarded.”

She snorted. “Sorry flyboy…if you’re in that chair you probably deserved it.”

Poe felt himself begin to panic as he watched her stand up and head towards the exit. His odds of getting out of here were getting worse with each step she made towards the door.

“Name your price!” He called after her.

She stopped. After a few moments she looked over her shoulder at him. She was waiting for him to continue.

Poe needed to keep her in the room. She was giving him one final shot and he needed to take it. He knew that he would be able to break her down. “Look, I work with some _very_ powerful people. What I am doing is extremely important. We are on the brink of war. You’re a clever woman and I know you’ve felt it.”

He saw a shadow drift over her face, her lips were now pressed in a thin line. When she didn’t respond he continued.

“If Chiara is working with who I think she is, then it won’t be long before trouble finds you too.”

“Trouble doesn’t have a hard time finding me.” She said quietly, the barest hint of insecurity peeking through. He saw that she was no longer looking at him but instead tugging at the hem of her sleeves.

He pulled his body forward. He winced slightly as the ropes continued to bite into him, his skin beginning to be rubbed raw from the friction. “It doesn’t have to find you. Just name your price.”

It felt as if time ticked on as neither of them made a sound. It was as if they were playing a game of chicken, each of them waiting for the other to pull away first. Poe was not going to look away. He was not going to back down. She was his best chance at getting out of here. And he could sense that she was at a judgement point. The question was if he had said the right thing.

She finally looked up at him. And then, something in her eyes changed. The hesitation was gone, and she was once again that tusk cat in the bar. She set her bag down on the floor before she slowly stalked towards him. Her slender hips moving languidly as her lean legs carried her to stand in front of him.

She leaned over him, her breath against his cheek was like hot fire. A fire that ignited a fuse that went straight to his groin. His body responded instantly. Poe held completely still as he felt her perch herself upon his lap, one slim thigh resting on either side of his hips. He noted how light she felt sitting in his lap. She brushed her chocolate curls over her shoulder, her oversized sweater falling down slightly, exposing her beautifully golden skin. At that moment all he could think about was how much he wanted to trail his tongue along her silky skin just to see what she tasted like. Her pillow soft curls lightly feathered his neck as he felt her nuzzle against nose his ear. He felt her cool fingers trail down his arms, traveling over the ropes binding him in place.

Why had he been so stupid to follow that blonde? _She was quick and easy cargo, that’s why._ He was not blind. He noticed the bartender right away. She stood out like a phoenix inside that dark cantina. The way the neon lights illuminated her long lean limbs, causing dark shadows to dance along her curves called to him. The way her pouty pink lips moved as she spoke made his mouth water. What he wouldn’t give to feel those wet lips on his skin. _If only he got her upstairs. Then he would be _happily_ tied to this chair_.

Her soft fingertips touched his bottom lip gently. His skin burned at the touch. When his mouth opened slightly, a shaky breath left his mouth. He was completely bare to this woman and completely at her mercy. His breath hitched. “What are you—"

She pressed her mouth to his, so hard that his head snapped back. Her tongue pressed passed his clenched teeth and Poe moaned as he tasted the warm peppermint of her saliva. Her kiss felt like a drug and with this one hit he was addicted. She was penetrating him like an infection, making him weak and eating him alive. He was suffering, and he knew he should pull away. But when her lips left his, he couldn’t stop his groan and he hungrily took her lips back against his. His tongue slipped back inside of her mouth, demanding everything from her. With each kiss he realized that he could kiss her the rest of his life and he would never have enough.

He drank in the tiny, choked gasp that left her mouth as his hips involuntarily pressed upwards against her. He strained against the ropes, and his wrists burned in protest. He damned the ropes that were holding him down. He wanted his hands free, wanted to feel his hands on her hips as he pressed her hard against him. He wanted to hear her say his name from those sweet lips of hers as he thrusted into her, hard and slow.

“What’s your name?” He managed to pant out in between breaths.

She chuckled against his lips as she glided her cheek against his coarse cheek, her lips feathered his ear as she whispered huskily. “That’s another fee.”

Poe’s heart stopped as she began to kiss him once more. This time deeper than before. He felt her everywhere, down his back, up his arms, and finally behind his head, pulling him closer so that she could kiss him harder, deeper, and with an urgent need that wasn’t there before.

As she pulled away and leaned back in his lap she met his hooded gaze. “For my services.” She held her arm up, and Poe noticed that she was holding a small watch high in the air.

Immediately he looked down behind him at his wrist and saw that she had swiped his watch.

_What the…?_

“Good luck flyboy.” She saluted as she jumped off his lap. She quickly picked up her rucksack and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Poe roared as he thrashed in the chair. The sound of the metal chair pounding on the ground as he moved. “YOU. SNARKIN’. SITHSPAWN!” Poe spat out as he strained against his ties, making the chair jump in protest. As he shook in rage he heard the faint sound of metal hitting the floor. He looked down at the ground just in front of his feet and saw a small knife lying on the ground.

He grinned and looked back up at the door. “That little tusk cat…”


	3. The Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe wants to learn more information about who put a price on his head. He knows just the guy to seek.

CHAPTER 3

_The Deal_

When Poe finally was able to cut himself free from the restraints, he quickly bolted down the stairs and made his way through the cantina. The rest of Black Squadron had left. Most likely they assumed that he was going to be tied up for a while and that they would meet back at their hotel.

_Boy were they not wrong about him being tied up._ He cursed thinking about how stupid he was. He needed to stay focused.

_Ah, but you were focused Dameron… just a little too much._

He made his way through the crowded cantina and stumbled out into the alley, almost knocking over a trash bin in the process. He pushed past an idling group of off duty New Republic Pilots.

“Hey, watch it pal!” one of them hissed as Poe knocked into his shoulder. Poe ignored him and continue to rush away from the cantina and into the dark alleyway.

He stuck to the shadows, avoiding calling attention to himself. He scanned the people he passed, keeping an eye out for that blonde woman and anyone who appeared to be linked to the First Order.

He eventually was able to catch the attention of a passing transport cruiser and swiftly hopped inside. After instructing the driver where to take him the cruiser sped upwards into the sky before leveling and merging onto the busy thoroughfare.

As the driver navigated him back to his hotel, weaving in and out of traffic, Poe scanned each of the passing cruisers. His eye caught the flash of bright red in a passing cruiser and his pulse quickened. He urged the driver to speed up and catch up to a cruiser that was just a few cars ahead. The driver nodded and revved the throttle. When they finally caught up with the speeder Poe sat forward to get a better look at the driver. His heart sank to his stomach when he saw that it wasn’t her.

The bartender had to have been long gone by now. Poe shook his head in disbelief as he thought of how sly she was. He was mildly annoyed that she swiped one of his favorite watches, but he had to give her credit where credit was due. She played him like a fiddle, and boy did he sing.

When the driver arrived at his hotel, Poe paid the driver, instructed him to keep the change, and swiftly headed upstairs. The four of them occupied a suite that was within the industrial district in Hosinian Prime. Their suite had four rooms that were all connected by a central common area. When he arrived in their suite, everything was silent, and the main lights were turned off. The only light source was a faint red light that blinked slowly from BB-8 in the corner, indicating that he was in power save mode.

As Poe stepped into the common area, he could hear loud snoring coming from the couch. He looked down and saw that the sound was coming from Snap, who was lying face down on the settee. His head was tilted to the side and resting on a throw pillow while his arm hung off the front, his knuckles lightly dragging on the ground. Poe looked to Kare and Jess’ rooms and saw that both doors were closed.

Walking past a sleeping Snap, Poe went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. The fluorescents the fridge bathed him in a bright blue light as he scanned the contents inside. “There you are my beautiful,” he mumbled as he pulled out a small bottle of fire whiskey.

He quickly twisted off the top and brought the bottle to his lips, taking a long pull of the intense liquid, groaning as the alcohol burned his throat. Swallowing hard, he turned and kicked the door to the fridge closed behind him with the heel of his boot. He cradled the bottle in his hands as he stumbled into his room, closing the door shut behind him with a bang. He wanted to drink and forget the entire night. But no matter how much alcohol he consumed, his lips still burned from her touch.

\--

When Poe staggered out of his room the following morning, he saw that Kare was already in the small kitchen, brewing a pot of coffee. Her eyes were smudged from the remnants of the previous night’s makeup and her short blonde hair stood straight up, wild and tussled from sleep. The door to Jess’ room was still shut.

Snap had shifted slightly and was now laying on his back on the couch in the common room, one leg bent, and his arm resting over his eyes. “When did the sun become so flippin’ bright?” Snap groaned as he rolled onto his side facing the back of the couch, protecting himself from the bright light of the morning.

Poe suggested that they all go downstairs and get some breakfast. Kare agreed while Snap grunted in response. He looked down to BB-8. “How about you buddy?”

_“BEET DEET!” _chimed BB-8 enthusiastically.

“Sounds good. Let me just see if Jess is awake,” Poe replied as he walked to her door. When he knocked, asking if she wanted to join them for breakfast, all he heard was a muddled groan. When he knocked a second time he heard a loud thump against the door. Poe figured that she had thrown the nearest pillow against the wall to shut them up. Deciding that it was best to leave her alone to recuperate, the three of them, and BB-8, went downstairs to eat.

After gorging themselves on eggs, buttered toast, breakfast sausages, and gallons of coffee, Kare announced that she was going to go back upstairs to her room. “I’ve had enough excitement for the day,” she grumbled as she turned to head back to the elevator.

As Snap was about to follow, Kare held up her hand and stopped him. “No, Snap. Only thing I want right now is to be alone and take a nice long bath. I don’t plan on coming up for air for at least a couple hours and I don’t need you there distracting me,” she huffed. Without waiting for his reply, Kare turned on her heels and went towards the elevators.

As Kare walked away Poe put his hand on Snap’s shoulder. “Guess it’s just you and me pal.”

_“BREE WWRRP!”_

“And you too Beebee-ate,” Poe added as he looked down at the droid. “Let’s get some fresh air.” Snap needed to walk off his hangover, and Poe had other plans. He needed to figure out who knew they were here and why they wanted him tied up.

\--

“So, explain to me again how you ended up tied up in that chair?” Snap asked for the third time during their walk after finishing breakfast.

“I’ve already told you twice Snap,” Poe grumbled, quickening his step. Snap was not the fastest in their group and it made Poe feel slightly better seeing him struggle to keep up with his demanding pace.

“I know!” Snap huffed as he lumbered after him. “And it’s such a great story that I just need to hear it again.”

“I’m done talking about it,” Poe clipped.

_“BREEEEEEEEET, BREET, BREET, BREET!”_

Poe stopped and looked down at BB-8 in contempt. “Oh, so you think this is funny too?”

BB-8 rolled back and forth. Poe had come to see this was his way of nodding.

“Okay guys. Just laugh it up. Just completely forget the fact that I was held hostage last night,” Poe fumed.

Noting the rising anger Poe was displaying, Snap gentled. “Are you sure you just didn’t piss her off?” Snap suggested. “Sometimes what comes off as charming can come off as a bit cocky.”

_Cocky. Arrogant. A Show Off. Impulsive._

The bartender’s voice echoed in his head. He clenched his jaw as he felt his body begin to rise to attention. He thought of how she snatched his watch, right before she gave him what had to have been the best kiss of his god damn life.

Noticing him stiffen, Snap put his hand on his shoulder. “Hey, man. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be an asshole.” Snap stopped and put his hand against his head, wincing. “Ugh, my head feels like it is going to explode right now. I have to find humor in something otherwise all I’m going to focus on is my own personal pain.”

When Poe didn’t speak up Snap exhaled and continued. “Okay. So, someone paid that lady some credits to get you vulnerable. I guess the most important question is who.”

“That’s what we’re here to find out.” Poe confirmed, weaving them through the crowded marketplace.

“I thought we were here to walk off my hangover,” Snap whined.

“We are.” Poe said as he walked up to a vendor. “But who says we can’t kill two birds with one stone?”

Poe led them to the local outdoor marketplace just outside of the capital center. It was conveniently nestled between the state building and the underground. Hosinian Prime was a city that attracted a lot of attention and was a meeting ground for all the neighboring systems. Many different cultures left their mark, not just on international relations, but also upon the city’s identity. The city was a multicultural hub that united millions of people. It’s because of this multicultural identity that Hosinian Prime was known for their local markets. Hundreds of cultural restaurants, food carts, and cantinas offered a plethora of culinary choices, while those who were hungry for something else enjoyed the various live music, art galleries, and local vendors peddling their exotic wares.

It was also here at the market where the criminals who frolicked nightly in the underworld kept their day jobs.

The three of them casually migrated towards a market stall. The space was filled with various trinkets for sale. On display were jewelry that appealed to various taste levels, droid replacement parts, blasters, and even a tauntaun skull. Ignoring the items for sale, Poe walked to what appeared to be the transaction counter.

Poe banged on the counter. “Fusho! Are you in there?” he yelled to the back of the stall.

They stood in the sun, waiting for someone to come out from the back. After a few minutes, Snap looked to Poe before looking down at BB-8.

“WOOT BREET BRRRP?” BB-8 chimed.

Snap shrugged before clearing his throat. “Um, Poe. I think no one is—”

“_Poe Dameron_,” boomed a deep guttural voice.

From the shadows a massive slug-like creature moved towards them. His body moved in rhythmic waves as his muscles contracted. His skin was tough, and slightly cracked from the lack of decent moisture in the air that his kind needed. His large mouth was downturned and slightly parted as he breathed heavily with the exertion.

Hutts dominated much of the organized crime in the galaxy. Hutts were known to dabble in smuggling, gambling, bounty hunting, and even slavery. While most crime lords lived opulent lives as they took in the bounties from the various exploits, others worked in the shadows of the underbellies of the cities. Masquerading as street merchants, these Hutts were the lieutenants. They headed a crew of their own foot soldiers but ultimately reported directly to their boss.

Fusho Tingi was one of these lieutenants that reported directly to Grakkus the Hutt. Even though he was based on the planet Nar Shaddaa, Grakkus had numerous lieutenants based throughout the galaxy that controlled an extensive network of bounty hunters and spice smugglers. It just so happened that one of the sons of Grakkus’ was working in Hosinian Prime.

And Poe had a favor to collect.

Poe smiled and held out his arms in welcome. “Fusho Tingi. Good to see you—”

_“Choy? Do u naga Poe Dameron.” _Fusho spat out in Huttese.

Feigning shock, Poe huffed. “What do I want? Is that a way to greet a friend?”

“You no friend Poe Dameron,” Fusho spoke, switching to common.

“You know Fusho, I am hurt. If I wasn’t a friend, then why did I help your father escape from Megalox?” Poe asked.

Not too long-ago Poe visited Megalox Beta, a prison city that was regarded as a dumping ground for some of the worst criminals in the galaxy. Poe and the rest of Black Squadron were sent to Megalox by General Organa to retrieve information for Lor San Tekka, in the hopes that the old explorer had information related to the whereabouts of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. In exchange for information, Poe agreed to break Grakkus out of prison and escort him to safety. He kept tabs on Grakkus’ whereabouts afterwards and did opt to not turn him over to prison authorities once he got the information he needed. He knew that it was always best to have the upper hand when working with Hutts.

“You did it for yourself.” Fusho remarked dryly. “Personal gain.” He looked down at him, crossing his stunted arms over his large chest in indifference.

“Again, I am offended Fusho.” He said in mock astonishment. “You should know me better than that!” When Fusho continued to look down upon him unflinching Poe conceded. “Okay, okay... fine. Yes, I needed information from him.” He pointed his finger towards him. “But you and I both know that I could have gotten that information without making a deal. I always know that it is wise to have the debt of a Hutt.”

Fusho spat on the ground before wagging his finger. “That is his debt to pay. Not mine.”

“Look,” Poe pleaded. “All I want is some information.”

Fusho’s mouth curled upwards into a greasy grin. “You want to know who paid that _chik youngee_ at the Red Veil to tie you up like a rotisserie chicken.”

Snap choked, and Poe looked over his shoulder back at him. Snap cleared his throat. “Sorry. Something must have gotten caught in my throat.” He held his hand over his mouth. Poe could see the barest hint of a smile.

Poe narrowed his eyes before turning his attention back at Fusho. “Word travels fast around here,” he said stiffly.

Fusho took one long inquisitive look at Poe before holding out his arms. “You know what Dameron… I am feeling generous. I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

Poe raised his eyebrows in shock. “Well isn’t that—”

“For a small favor,” Fusho added quietly.

“—nice,” Poe finished. He shook his head. He should have seen this coming. You never get something for nothing. “What is it that you want Fusho?” he questioned.

“There is an item of great interest to me at the Temple ruins,” Fusho began. “Retrieve it for me and I will tell you what you want to know,” he finished simply.

“Why don’t you go yourself?” Poe asked.

Fusho shrugged. “Eh, I have a shop to run. Besides, this is something that requires your special talents.”

“Special?” Poe raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, you know, you’re young, limber, full of energy. You are perfect for the job.” Fusho moved closer to them and leaned forward, holding his arm out beckoning them to come closer. His voice lowered. “There is an old temple outside of the city to the west of here. At this temple you will find a lake. I need you to retrieve a rare flower that sits high up on the cliff that borders the far side of the lake.”

“Aww, getting romantic on me there Fusho?” Poe goaded. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

Ignoring his jest, Fusho continued. “This flower produces the rarest pollen in the galaxy that is harvested into the strongest drug on the market today.”

Poe shook his head in disbelief. “Wait. Are you talking about Nova Dust?”

Fusho nodded. “Get that flower for me Poe Dameron and I will tell you who is looking for you.”

Poe eyed him for a few moments, contemplating his bargain. “To the west you say?” Poe asked.

Fusho nodded. “Best to go at sundown. The flower shines brightest at dusk and it’ll be easier for you to spot.”

Poe listened as Fusho gave him directions to the location. When Poe felt confident that he knew where to go he said his goodbye. As he turned, something shiny hanging on display by the counter caught Poe’s eye and caused him to pause. He reached his hand out and touched the familiar item.

“Nice watch. When did you get it?” He inquired.

Fusho leaned forward to eye it. “Ah that? Yes, it’s is a very nice time piece. Just got it this morning,” he bragged. “You interested in purchasing? I can make you nice offer,” he beckoned.

Poe shook his head, placing the watch back on the rack. “No thanks. Just interested in the woman who sold it to you.”

Fusho’s large mouth curled into that greasy smile once more before his head fell back and he let out a deep guttural laugh. “Ha! Not one but two _cheekas_ got the best of you.” He held up his short gelatinous arm out and wagged his finger. “Losing your touch eh Poe Dameron?” he mocked.

Ignoring the jab Poe turned and walked away. He called over his shoulder. “I’ll get you your flower. You just make sure you are ready to give me my information,” he barked. As Fusho laughed and slithered back into the shadows on his stall, Poe turned his head towards Snap. “You ready to go for a swim?”

Snap held up his hands and shook his head vehemently. “Oh no. You’re on your own Black leader. You know I can’t swim.”

Poe looked down to BB-8. “How about you buddy?”

_“WHEEEO.”_

“Oh, come on buddy… don’t abandon me too,” he begged.

“WRRRRRR BEEP BREOP.”

Poe shook his head. “How do you know you’re not waterproof if you don’t try?” he urged.

BB-8 remained motionless as Poe saw his ocular lens zooming in on him. Poe shrugged. “Fine. Be that way you two.” Poe started walking back towards their hotel. “I’ll just drop you guys off at the room and then head back out on my own.”

After a few steps, Snap broke the silence. “I do have one question for you though.”

“Shoot,” Poe called over his shoulder.

Snap grinned. “Who is this _other_ woman?”


	4. Snake in the Grass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara is questioned about the previous night.

CHAPTER 4

_Snake in the Grass_

_Earlier that morning._

“10 credits? _Chuba doompa, dopa-maskey kung_!” She spat out in Huttese. “Don’t play me the fool Fusho!”

“_Cheespa bo coopa!_ You watch your mouth Amara.” Fusho warned as he narrowed his eyes at her. He wasn’t going to let anyone speak to him that way and call him names in his own shop, especially not from a woman.

Exhaling in exasperation she pleaded. “Come on Fusho. Help me out.”

He looked down at the watch, eyeing the detail with small hand lens. After a few moments of inspection, he spoke. “_Soboba. _15 credits… no more,” he muttered.

“15? You know this is worth at least 30!” she raged.

Fusho put down his hand lens on the counter and threw the watch back at her. “Then go somewhere else and peddle your junk,” he snarled. “I have a business to run.” Amara barely had enough time to react before she caught it with shaky hands.

She stood there, narrowing her eyes at his. She did not want to back down but with what little options she had left she had no choice. She sighed in resignation before placing the watch on the counter and pushing it gently towards him. She held out her hand and Fusho chuckled as he placed the 15 credits in her hands.

“_Mee jewz ku_. Always a pleasure,” he taunted. Taking the watch and putting it below the counter.

Amara reached into her knit sweater and tucked the credits into her bandeau. She left Fusho’s stand without saying another word.

_Damnit,_ she thought. Amara was certain that she was going to get much more for the timepiece she swiped from that pilot. She knew that Fusho wouldn’t give her a fair deal, but she was at least hoping for enough to top off her savings.

The previous night, after leaving the pilot with the small knife to free himself, Amara quickly bolted from the cantina. She wasn’t trying to avoid the pilot. She just didn’t want to be pegged as the person who helped him escape. She didn’t know why he was tied up, nor did she want to know. But she knew Chiara.

While Chiara worked at the Cantina as one of _The Red Veil_’s top escorts, it was also known amongst the staff that she also supplemented her income with taking various contracts with the First Order. She had a list of names the First Order was looking for, and she kept an eye out for those people. If they showed up in the cantina she used her talents to get them isolated. Amara saw many people go upstairs with Chiara over the months, and not one of them ever came back down when she returned. Amara had made it her business to not know what happened once they went upstairs.

When Amara saw the pilot sweet talking with Chiara from across the room, she knew that he was trouble with the First Order. And since he was trouble, she knew she had to stay far away. That made it all the more annoying when she couldn’t help how her body reacted when she first saw him walk up to her bar.

He radiated a crisp masculine energy that seized her attention. He wasn’t a tall man but that didn’t detract from his overall physique and confident aura. His sun-bronzed complexion complemented his wide smile, that showed a dazzling flash of white, as it reached all the way to his deep brown eyes. He was _very_ handsome, his features strong and even. His posture, chin up and chest out, put his confidence on display while his smugness called out to others around him as if to say, _“Come at me, I dare you.”_

His body showed the air of a cocky pilot, but his eyes added more depth. The way his eyes scanned the crowd showed her a different side of him. One that said he had his share of experience in the galaxy, and had few illusions left. He was a man who had been militarily trained. Somehow all of that combined made him even more attractive.

And she cursed herself for thinking that.

She was done with military men and she had a goal. She needed to get off this planet as soon as possible. Men were a distraction that she just didn’t have time for. As she made her way through the crowd she glanced up at the large clocktower that was at the center of the marketplace. _Where did the morning go?_ She grumbled as she quickened her step. She still had a few errands to run before Trader Pascal closed shop for the day.

“Mara!” a voice called out from the crowd.

Amara’s stomach dropped as she recognized that husky feminine voice. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before putting on her best surprised smile and turned. “Chiara!”

Navigating through the crowded marketplace, Chiara meandered through the mass of people, weaving through the gaps as if she were a snake in the grass. Her eyes focused on Amara, her mouth turned upwards into a grin that failed to reach her eyes. Her curves and sultry movement lured you in, her softness entrancing you.

But just like a snake, Chiara was full of venom, and was quick to bite when you weren’t looking. Amara always kept her guard up when she was around her, not wanting to be caught in her grasp. She knew better than to get too close to her. Any slip and Amara ran the risk of revealing too much. She had worked too hard to get where she was and she would be damned if one mistake would muck up everything.

“You’re up early,” Amara remarked casually as she pulled her bag further up her shoulder.

Chiara brought Amara in for a hug. “Oh god don’t remind me,” Chiara groaned as she pulled away. “I would definitely rather be sleeping that’s for sure. I had a _long_ night last night and needed to wake up early to take care of some things.”

Amara had a feeling that what she needed to take care of had to do with that pilot she stumbled upon last night. “Well isn’t this a pleasant surprise. I’ve been up already for a couple hours. Just getting some errands taken care of myself. Is there anything you need me to grab for you while I’m out and about?”

Chiara smiled. “Oh, you’re too sweet,” she began. “No… well, actually, maybe there is something you _can_ help me with.” Chiara reached into her pocket and pulled out a small card. She pressed a button on the side and a holographic scene appeared. The image was a still that was taken from _The Red Veil’s_ security footage. The picture was a closeup of the pilot as he was heading down the back staircase of the cantina. He had one hand around his wrist as he looked off into the distance. “Do you remember seeing this man last night?”

Amara examined the picture, noting his furrowed brow and intense expression on his face as he scanned the room. No doubt he was either looking for Chiara or for her. The thought of him finding her again caused her body to become covered in goosebumps. Whether it was fear or excitement, she wasn’t quite sure. She would ponder that later when she was not being questioned by Chiara.

“Hottie, isn’t he?” Chiara’s voice cut into whatever trance Amara was in, causing her to bring her focus back to Chiara.

Amara smiled and shook her head. “Typical pilot. Definitely not my type.”

Chiara laughed. “Oh honey… a face like that is everyone’s type,” she mused. She lifted the hologram so that Amara could get a closer look. “Do you remember him from last night?”

Amara looked at the picture. Her pulse quickened. “I remember seeing him at the bar,” she said slowly, carefully thinking of what she was going to say next. “I refilled some drinks he brought to the bar. I didn’t see him again after that.”

Chiara tilted her head, her face giving nothing away. “Really? The camera showed you coming down the stairs a few minutes before he did. I thought that perhaps you saw him upstairs when you went to grab your stuff.”

_Shit_.

If Chiara saw her on camera then she would have seen her going upstairs as well. And if she saw her going upstairs she would have noticed that when she came downstairs she was no longer dressed in her work gear. There was only one place where the girls kept their things during their shifts.

There was no way that Amara could have gotten her things without her noticing that pilot. Amara paused, gathering her thoughts and carefully sorting out what she was going to say next.

“Oh, is that who was upstairs?”

_Great Amara. Now you sound like a dummy. Think of something better you idiot._

_“_Honestly, I barely paid him any attention. He was completely passed out when I was in there. I figured that it would have been best to just quickly grab my stuff and sneak out before he woke up again. Why was he in there? Don’t you typically do the kink clients in the other area?”

Chiara observed her. Amara could see her eyes narrowing as she contemplated what she just heard. Amara counted the time between her breaths, trying to make them as evenly spaced as possible. She didn’t want to tip her off that she was nervous.

Seeming to believe her story Chiara turned off the hologram and put the card back into her pocket. “Oh, he wasn’t a client. He was being held for questioning.”

“Questioning? By who?” Amara asked. She didn’t know why she asked. She knew better than to ask questions. But this man couldn’t help but catch her interest and she couldn’t understand why. Once again that was another thing she would ponder when she was out of the serpent’s lair.

“Apparently Mr. Drop Dead Gorgeous has made a bunch of enemies around the galaxy.” Chiara said in a casual tone.

Amara could only imagine who those enemies were. “Who is he?” She prodded.

“His name is Poe Dameron. He’s a commander fighter pilot for the resistance. He’s one of the most trusted operatives of General Leia Organa, the leader of the resistance. Ever since he joined he has been a massive thorn in the side of the First Order. They’re offering a lot of money for aid in his capture.” Chiara raised her chin in Amara’s direction. “You know Mara, if you help me find him, we can split the money.”

Amara shook her head. “You know I try not to get involved in that political stuff,” she began cautiously.

“Yeah I know. But just think how much closer you’ll be towards getting that money you need.” Chiara eyed her up and down with a smirk. “You got the goods. You’re wasting your time behind the bar. I can help you get better money.”

“Yeah but at least it’s honest money.” She said quietly.

Chiara laughed. “Oh please. There is nothing wrong with using what you got to get what you want.” At that she paused when she heard a series of beeps going off from her wrist at her gold comm-receiver. She glanced at the receiver, her eyebrow raised in interest at the message. “I got to run,” she said quickly, before pulling Amara into another hug. “You know where to find me if you change your mind,” she said, giving Amara a light kiss on the cheek.

As Amara watched Chiara walk away her body shook as it let out a long shaky breath. She hadn’t realized that she was holding her breath and she felt her chest contract as she took in air. She needed to get out of here, and not just away from the market.

She looked back up at the watch tower, cursing as she saw the time. She only had a few more hours before sundown. She took off in a jog as she made her way west.

\--

Amara slogged through the shallow waves of the lake as she made her way towards the bank, her sodden bag dragging on the ground beside her. Once she reached the shore she tossed the bag onto the wet sand with a thud. She unzipped the top of her wet suit and rolled it down to her waist.

She sat on the ground beside her bag, taking a moment to relax as she looked out across the water, the light of the sunset casting shimmers across the waves. After a few minutes she pulled the bag into her lap and examined her haul.

Amara pulled out a handful of barnacles, rolling them back and forth in her palm as she inspected their quality. She had spent the rest her afternoon searching the jagged cliffs for barnacles, as she did once a week. The barnacles found here were a rare delicacy in Hosinian Prime and restaurants shelled out hundreds of credits for them. Hunting for barnacles was one of the few ways that Amara made her money.

The barnacles were mostly located hidden within the jagged crevices of the cliffs underwater. Many people who tried to harvest these barnacles found themselves easily cut up and trapped due to the location and size of these openings. Because she was smaller in stature, she could easily maneuver her arm into the gaps and expertly cut the crustaceans from the rock. It wasn’t the most glamorous job but with a good enough haul she could make as much credits as she did during a busy night at _The Red Veil_ and in only a quarter of the time.

She smiled as she put the barnacles back into her bag. “This is just what I need,” she whispered. She could finally get off this planet. She had been here far longer than she originally intended, and with the increased presence of the First Order, it was time that she disappeared.

She knew that Hosinian Prime was a risky place for her to be, but she had run out of options at the time and she needed to leave Batuu as soon as possible. She wasn’t there long enough to save up enough credits, but she was able to barter passage on a trade ship that was headed to Hosinian Prime. Although Hosinian Prime was risky, being on this planet had its advantages. She was able to secure the job at the Red Veil within the first week of arrival, and there were more opportunities for side hustles. Because of all her hard work she was able to amass a big enough savings that she could sustain a more permanent spot. With the credits she had she could go to a more remote planet. She could build herself a home, one that was remote and nestled far away from the chaos of the galaxy. She would have a good enough foundation to start a new life. A better life. She could start all over. She could give herself the life that she was never allowed.

She tied a knot on the top of the bag, sealing the barnacles inside and tossed it aside. Standing, she arched her arms up over her head and stretched, moaning as she felt her back pop in relief. She looked at the sunset again, noting its position in the sky. She had a good amount of time before she had to be at the Red Veil for her shift. She looked around and as usual she was alone in her little alcove.

Because of its size and because of its location against the protruding cliffs, larger boats rarely ventured into this little section, afraid of the damage it would cause to their vessel. Only boats that ever made it through were smaller and more nimble boats, but with the sun setting and night creeping up, those boats would have been making their way back to the docks for the day if they hadn’t already.

She slipped out of the rest of the wetsuit that she wore and tossed it on top of her bag. She was still wearing her undergarments. She took one last look around the cove and when she did not see anyone, she slowly she slipped out of her remaining clothing and kicked them behind her.

She waded into the water, sighing as the cool water bathed her skin. She waded until her feet were no longer touching the ground and swam further into the center of the lake.

Enjoying the serene quiet of the water she let her body fall back so that she was floating on the water’s surface. The water caressed her body like a glove, protecting her from the world around her. Face up to the sky and eyes closed, she let the feeling of weightlessness take over. Being in the water gave her a sense of tranquility that she was not able to replicate in the city. When she closed her eyes her sense of time fell away, and she felt at peace. It was a sense of tranquility that she had not felt since before everything changed.

As she floated, she wished she could stay there all day. She wished that the water would fully envelop her and pull her deep into its grasp. She wanted to forget, she wanted to be free. For years she has felt as if she were drowning and at this moment she wanted to cease to struggle. The thought of letting go and succumbing to the darkness called to her from below.

Her head felt heavy and she relaxed her neck, letting her head fall beneath the water.

_Stay._

That voice called to her. It was a voice she heard many times before. It was a voice that haunted her.

_Stay._

The voice said again, this time with more force. Her arms felt heavy as they slowed their slow movement that was keeping her a float. Slowly she could feel her body dip below the surface. Her chest started to constrict as it was starting to beg for air.

_Stay Amara._ The voice pleaded.

_You know I can’t._ She heard her own voice say as she was taken back to that day. Her arms twitched as they began to move slowly in the water.

_I’m not letting you go. _

The voice called to her again. Her chest screamed. She wanted to pull herself back up and continue fighting but the voice called to her again. The water, that was once caressing her skin, was now strangling her.

She felt something touch her shoulder. Startled she jolted and pulled her head up out of the water as her body desperately gasped for the air she was refusing it. She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as she tried to regain focus. As her vision started to clear she saw a figure of someone leaning over her.

“Well isn’t this my lucky day.” A male voice broke through her silence.

Amara screamed as she thrashed in the water, causing her head to hit on the front of something solid. She saw stars before she felt her body go limp. Her world went black as she began to sink into the darkness of the lake.


	5. We Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Amara come face to face. Is their reunion everything they hoped for?

Chapter 5

_We Meet Again_

Poe climbed down from the cliffs, cautiously navigating his hands from rock to rock. As he neared the bottom he pushed himself off from the rock face, landing lightly on his feet. He took a step back and marveled at how far of a climb he just completed. He opened his satchel and admired the bright fuchsia flower in his bag. He did the work for Fusho, now it was time for the slug to hold up his end of the bargain.

Poe pulled down his rope and pulled it around his hand and elbow to tie it neatly in a loop. Once secured, he tossed the rope into his boat. He reached for the hem of his wool sweater and pulled it up over his head, tossing it on top of the rope. Working up a sweat from the climb he pulled on the collar of his undershirt, letting the crisp air cool him.

He had rented this boat from the dock on the far side of the lake. The smallest boat that they had was a fishing boat that was big enough for 2 or 3 people and was powered by a small motor at the stern. After a few minutes of patrolling the water he was finally able to spot what he was looking for high on the cliff face.

Even for experienced climbers, that flower would be extremely hard to get to. He wasn’t surprised that Fusho had asked him to collect this flower for him. Best scenario, Poe was able to retrieve it and Fusho would be able to cash in for huge credit. Second best scenario, Poe failed and instead fell straight to his death and Fusho could collect on whatever reward the First Order had for his head. Either way, Fusho was in a win-win situation. Poe just needed to make sure that he came out alive.

Thankfully, all those years spent climbing the rocks and ruins on Yavin-4 left him skilled in base climbing as well as knowing how to maneuver on slightly damp rocks. Even with a couple close calls and missteps, Poe was able to successfully retrieve the flower and remain in one piece. “All in a day’s work,” Poe said to himself as he smirked.

After climbing into the boat, he went to the steering console and started the ignition. The boat vibrated beneath his feet from the purr of the engine as he pulled away from the rocks. Noting that there was still some light left, he decided to make a loop around the lake before making his way back to the dock.

As he rounded around the opposite side of the rock something splashing in the water caught his eye. Instinctively he slowed the boat to a gentle purr, not wanting to disturb whatever was in the water, in case it was an animal. The last thing he wanted was to be capsized and going toe to toe with a predator in their natural habitat.

As he drifted closer, he saw the form of a person come into focus. Eventually his eyes widened as he saw that it was that of a female.

And she was _gloriously_ naked.

He turned off the engine of the boat, allowing it to coast with the waves towards her. He leaned forward slowly, not wanting to add any more movement. Last thing he wanted was for whoever this woman was to see him and end his show.

Getting close enough to get a good look at the woman he remarked at how skin reminded him of deep velvet, the water glistening from the waning sunlight. When he looked at her face, his breath caught. _It was her_.

She was floating in the water, her head submerged. She was completely motionless, the water from his boat causing light ripples to move across her naked form. She looked peaceful, her brows relaxed as if she were sleeping.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there watching her. He knew he should turn away. She didn’t deserve to have him leering at her, but he found it impossible to turn away.

She took his breath away and he wanted nothing more than to breathe in the sight of her. She called to him, beckoning him to come closer. She was a Melodie, a mermaid that was as alluring as they were dangerous. He leaned towards her and he felt the urge to leap into the water with her, let her take him in and damn the consequences.

As his eyes unapologetically roamed her body he began to feel a drop in his stomach. Something was off. She looked too peaceful.

_Had she moved yet? _

His brows furrowed as he scanned her to check for any signs of life. He hoped for a rise and fall of her chest, a slight feather of a finger, or a lazy kick of a leg. He wanted to see her open her soft brown eyes. But he didn’t get any of that, and his heart quickened. She was completely motionless, and he was no longer filled with awe but instead filled with intense dread. The boat had gotten close enough for him to reach down and touch her shoulder.

To his relief that seemed to startle her awake and she bolted up out of the water in surprise.

“Well isn’t this my lucky day,” he said with pleasure.

The woman let out an earth-shattering scream as she thrashed. Her head hit the front of the boat and Poe’s smile vanished as he watched her go limp, her body quickly sinking below the water.

“Shit.”

Without giving a second thought Poe dove into the water after her, kicking his feet urgently as he caught up with her sinking body. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, hooking his biceps under her armpits. He kicked his feet, propelling them both up to the surface.

She gasped for air when they broke the surface and he cursed as he saw her head was bleeding from where she hit her head. He reached the boat with a few kicks and with a heave he pushed her body up over the lip and onto the floor. He quickly climbed up over the side of the boat and knelt beside her, concern washing over his face. “Are you—”

“Don’t fucking touch me you creep!” she yelled as she covered herself with her arms and backed herself into the corner of the bow of the boat. Poe steadied himself as the boat bobbed forward with the unexpected shift of weight. When her eyes focused on him her eyebrows raised in surprise before they narrowed at him. “_You!_” she spat.

“I should be saying the same to you. Last time I saw you, you left me high and dry and tied up in that seedy club!” Poe volleyed back in her same tone. He wasn’t sure why he was yelling at her. She wasn’t the one who tied him up. He should have thanked her. Without her giving him that knife he had no idea where he would be. He didn’t know why she caused such fire in him. That was something that he would have to ponder over later. Right now he had to deal with the fact that he got caught being a creep, and he had absolutely no excuse for his behavior.

She rolled her eyes as she brought her knees up to her chest, covering her body more from his gaze. “Oh, stop crying. I gave you a way out, didn’t I? And you seemed to have made it out just fine.” She looked around the boat, searching for something to cover her body.

Poe reached behind him and picked up his sweater that he was wearing earlier and threw it to her. She grabbed the sweater but kept her eyes on him. He turned his attention to the bow of the boat, giving her privacy.

As she pulled the sweater up over her head she scoffed, “Don’t try to act all honorable now. You already saw all the goods.” After a few moments she cleared her throat. “You can turn around now.”

He turned and looked at her. He wasn’t a large man, but she was much smaller than him. He took note of her miniscule frame, remarking at how she was practically swimming in his wool sweater. He hadn’t noticed how small she was when he first saw her at the club, his mind was focused on her other assets. Shivering from the water, wet hair matted around her face and knobby knees folded against her chest, she looked waiflike. She continued to have her eyes trained on him, her gaze apprehensive. Who could blame her? He was caught watching her like some peeping tom and it pissed him off knowing that she was right. What the hell had gotten in to him?

He resisted the urge to reach out and caress her skin and instead eyed her. His eyes immediately focused on her head when he noticed that she was still bleeding from her temple. When he reached out to touch the wound she flinched and recoiled against the side of the boat.

Poe braced himself again from the sudden movement of the boat. Bracing one hand on the edge, he held up his other hand with his palm up and facing her. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just that you’re bleeding. Here,” he leaned over to an orange bag that was clipped to a rope on the side of the boat.

The bag was standard issue to boats and would contain a first aid kit. He reached into the bag and pulled out the small medical kit. He pulled out a bandage and went towards her slowly. He held up the white gauze so that she could see what he intended to do.

“I just want to stop the bleeding.” He remained crouched, his hand raised as he waited for her response. After a few heartbeats she nodded once, letting him know that it was alright for him to approach her.

She stayed completely still as he reached forward and pressed the gauze firmly against her temple. When he pulled it away he pulled out some rubbing alcohol and blotted it on the gauze. “This is going to sting a bit,” he warned.

She remained motionless as he put the gauze back against her head. He held his hand in place as he counted to ten. She fluttered her eyes upwards to him and watched him. Her mouth opened slightly as she breathed in deeply.

“Sorry…” Poe mumbled. “I’ll try to make this quick. I know it stings.”

His words seemed to pull her attention back into focus and she closed her eyes. He finished cleaning the wound and when the blood was gone, he was relieved when he saw that it wasn’t a deep cut but instead just a scrape.

After applying an ointment to the area, he pulled out a fresh bandage and firmly pressed it over the scrape, securing it with tape. The bandage was a bit over kill but he wanted any excuse to keep being near her.

“Do you always come to the lake to ogle naked women?” Her dry voice cut through the silence that had formed between them.

“Depends,” he began, “How often do you do this?” His eyebrow raised in question.

Her lips pressed together in a line. “Not often,” she replied in a clipped tone.

“Shame,” he said with mock sadness.

“You’re disgusting.” She shook her head as she straightened her back, removing her legs from her chest and curling them underneath her.

“I’ve been called worse things,” he smirked and shrugged as he cleaned up the remaining tape and bandages and put them back in the orange bag. He turned away from her and quickly tied the bag back to the side of the boat.

After a moment she cleared her throat. “So, what are you doing out here?” She questioned.

He looked over his shoulder back at her. “I could ask you the same thing you know. This is a free planet. This lake is public property and I have every reason to be here as you do. But now since you asked me, I’m curious. What are _you_ doing out here?”

She eyed him for a few moments before she replied quietly. “Barnacles.”

He tilted his head. “Excuse me? Was that a curse?” He said bemusedly. “If so, I am not going to lie. That has got to be the cutest curse I ever heard in my life.”

“No. I was _fishing_ for barnacles.” She said impatiently.

“Do you normally fish for barnacles in your birthday suit?”

“No, I use a wetsuit. It had been a long day and I wanted to relax. Typically, no one is out this late and people tend to avoid this section of water,” she explained. She played with the hem of the sweater, trying to cover as much of herself as the sweater would allow. Poe wanted to know how she looked wearing other pieces of his clothing. The thought of her gliding towards him wearing nothing but his leather jacket would be one hell of a sight.

“Well I guess it is just my lucky day then,” he grinned.

“Well I answered your question, it’s your turn to answer mine. Why were _you_ out here? This isn’t a prime fishing location.”

“I had to procure an item for someone by the cliffs over there,” he pointed to the large mountain face. “I decided to explore a bit and take the long way back to the dock.”

Poe saw that she was becoming uncomfortable and regret started to set in deeper. He was feeling disgusted with himself. He shouldn’t have eyed her like she was the finest dessert. He ran his hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. “Look, i’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ogled you like that. I should have given you the respect you deserve.”

Her head snapped back as if she hadn’t expected his apology. She went to open her mouth as if to say something but then she closed her mouth remaining silent. The air between them became heavy with tension and he immediately felt awkward with the position he was in.

“So…” he began slow. “Why were you fishing for barnacles?” he asked, hoping to refocus their attention. “Most people don’t casually go barnacle diving. From what I know, it can be dangerous work, and there are easier ways to get food.”

“I uh… I sell them. To the local restaurants,” she said slowly before adding, “It’s a good way to make money.”

He rubbed his palm along the side of his neck as he studied her. “So, what… you are a fisherman by day and hot bartender by night?”

“Among other things.” She shrugged.

“’_Among other things’ _she says.” Poe took a seat at the stern of the boat and started the ignition. “Okay, I’ll admit. It seems like we got off on the wrong foot. Let’s start over. My name…”

“Is Poe Dameron. You’ve already told me,” she said impatiently. “Can you just take me back to my things at the shore?” She pointed towards a small bank off the alcove they were drifting in. “It’s getting late and I need to get back home so I can get ready for my shift tonight.”

“Yes, right.” He moved to the steering console and started the boat. They began a slow crawl towards the shore. “Well kitten… you know my name. I have yet to catch yours.” He prodded.

“That’s because I didn’t throw it,” she spat, not looking at him as her eyes narrowed on the approaching shore.

He held up his hands, trying to calm her down. “Easy tusk cat. You can put away your claws.”

“Stop calling me that,” she said with a heavy sigh of irritation.

“Well give me something else to go with.”

She looked ahead, as if she was contemplating whether she could endure his little pet name for her any longer. After what felt like endless minutes she gave a tired sigh. “Amara.”

“Amara…” He said softly, enjoying how the sound of her name rolled off his tongue. “Well _Amara_, do you know why your friend decided to tie me up?”

He did not miss how her eyes darted to the side quickly before she seemed to catch herself and refocused her gaze back out towards the water. She had slipped and he knew that she was going to try and deny it.

As if on cue, she shrugged casually. “No idea,” she said in a level tone.

“Come on tusk cat…” he prodded. “You know more than you let on.”

Her jaw clenched. “I don’t know the reason. Nor do I care to know,” she stated, a little too quickly. “All I know is that you seem to have a lot of enemies flyboy.” He smiled as she called him by her little nickname again. He liked this little game of flirtation they were playing.

“Well I can’t argue with that.” He shrugged.

“My stuff is over there.” She pointed to a small pile of things that was sitting on the wet sand.

Unfortunately for her, Poe was having a little too much fun and he wasn’t ready for this conversation to be over.

“But we’re having such a wonderful conversation,” he teased as he moved the boat so that it was travelling parallel to the shore, not close enough for her to get out without having to swim. “Aren’t you enjoying my company?”

“Look Flyboy, if you don’t want to be a gentleman and take me back to the shore then I’ll just swim the rest of the way.” She stood up and moved to jump into the water. “It was nice knowing—”

The boat violently lurched forward and sped off. Amara screamed as she fell backwards, landing hard on her backside.

“Are you crazy?!” she shrieked as she glared up at him.

“I’ve been called that before.” Poe belted over the roar of the engine with a sideways smirk. He turned the boat and sped it away from the shore, taking it for a cruise around the perimeter of the large lake. His hand gripped the throttle as he maxed out the speed of the tiny vessel. “Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I’m not. Like I said… I’ve been called that and worse.”

“Do you think you can just kidnap me?” she yelled as she gripped the side of the boat and pulled herself to a crouched position. He tried to steady herself as the boat bobbed violently up and over the waves.

“Just answer my questions and I’ll happily take you back to your things.” He said cheerfully. When she didn’t respond he began with his first question. “Question one. Are you with the First Order?”

“What?” She said in astonishment. Her hand went to her face and she wiped the spray from the water out of her eyes with the back of her hand. She slipped again as she stumbled from a large wake in the water. Poe took a sharp turn, causing Amara to slam against the side of the boat. “Stop it!” she cried. She rubbed her arm and winced from the pain.

“Are you with the First Order?” He repeated calmly, but a bit louder as he made sure to enunciate each word. His eyes remained focused on the waters ahead. He was going to get an answer out of her and if he had to intimidate her into talking then so be it.

“No! I am not with the First Order!” She yelled.

“Are you lying to me?” He probed again. His eyes narrowed in on her face as he waited for her answer. He couldn’t help himself in remarking at how beautiful she looked, but the last time he fell for a pretty face he found himself knocked out and tied up against his will. He wasn’t going to let that happen to him again.

_Fool me once._

“I swear I am not with the First Order!” Her eyes closed as her grip tightened on the rim of the boat, her knuckles turning white from the tension.

“And your friend?” He added. He took a wide turn just before he reached the docks and hooked around so that they were heading back in the direction that they came.

She took in a deep breath. “She is not my friend,” she hissed before taking another breath. Her eyes remained closed as her head fell forward. “And honestly, I do not know. I do know that she does a lot of jobs for some questionable people. I am smart enough to know not to get involved.” She took another deep breath and tilted her head back so that it rested against the boat, her eyes still closed tightly. “Can you slow down? I’m starting to feel sick.” When he didn’t slow down she open her eyes and looked at him pleadingly. “Please Poe…”

His heart thumped at the sound of his name on her lips. He wanted to hear her say his name over, and over again.

He wanted to hear that whimpering plea of, _“Please Poe,”_ again.

He wanted to hear it every night. He wanted to hear it as he was pressed against her.

Hear it as he was teasing her, inch by painstaking inch before she cried out for him to stop this torture.

He wanted to—

“I think I’m going to throw up.” She gulped and pressed her hand against her mouth. Her skin had gone pale as her eyes closed again.

Deciding that he didn’t want to lose his cleaning deposit on his boat rental, Poe slowed the boat to a leisurely wake. Amara sighed in relief as she leaned over the side of the boat, her chest rising and falling as she took in slow deep breaths. When she looked like she had regained her normal coloring Poe cleared his throat and spoke.

“You said her name was Chee—”

“Chiara.” She finished for him. “She is in charge of the _entertainment_ at the club.” She took a few more deep breaths as she tried to settle her stomach. Poe waited. When her breathing resumed at a normal pace she opened her eyes, focusing on him. “All I know is that when some people go upstairs with her, not all of them come back down.”

“Where do they go?” He asked carefully, although deep down he already knew the answer.

“I make it my business not to know,” she answered flatly, her eyes not leaving his.

The solemn look in her face confirmed his suspicions. Poe was all too familiar with resistance contacts dropping off the face of the galaxy unexpectedly. What went unsaid was that most members of the resistance knew that they most likely got caught by the First Order. The First Order never left prisoners. Only death was left in their wake. Not many questioned by the First Order and then sent on their merry way.

Amara sunk down against the side of the boat and sat with her knees tucked against her side. Poe eyed her up and down as he studied her. She was more than what she let on. She was not just an innocent bystander. She had layers to her, and Poe wanted to peel back everyone until he got to her core. He needed to know exactly who she was.

“What’s your story?”

She tilted her head and she furrowed her brow in confusion. “What do you mean ‘what’s my story’?”

“Whose side are you on?” He prodded.

“Whose side?” She shrugged. “I already told you that I don’t work for the First Order.”

“Are you with the resistance?”

She shook her head. “I don’t have that kind of luxury.”

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“It means that I have to look out for myself.” She stated. “Death comes to those who pick a side. And I do not have a death wish.” She shook her head as she spoke, as if reminding herself of what she was saying.

Poe couldn’t stop a chuckle that escaped his lips. “Picking a side is easy. You fight for the good guys. Simple as that.”

“In war, the good guys always become bad guys,” she said softly. She held her hands in her lap in front of her, as she slowly pulled at her fingers. She seemed anxious. And that set alarms off in his head.

“You seem to speak from experience,” he said in a quiet but curious tone. He didn’t like her shift in body language. He preferred her rough, clawing nature, not this quiet retreat. She didn’t respond but instead her eyes moved to the horizon and focused on the setting sun.

_Good guys always become bad guys._

Her words echoed in his mind as he continued to steer the boat in the water. She was avoiding his questions. She wanted to stay under the radar and he wanted to know why.

Hosinian Prime was a thriving cosmopolitan planet that many people thrived living in. There were not many who worked below the poverty line. She seemed to make a good enough wage from the cantina based off the tips he saw her pocket after helping customers, yet she was working side hustles to get more money. More money for what? What was she going through that she felt that she had no one to look out for her. His eyes wandered back to her. Her face remained pensive as it gazed out at the setting sun.

His thoughts went back to the image of her floating in the water and he remembered how peaceful she looked. In his mind her face moved from that of serenity to something else. He had seen that face before. He had seen that face in his fellow pilots. She had the face of someone who knew that they had reached the end of their fight. She seemed defeated. She was no longer floating as a means for relaxation but instead was allowing herself to sink as a means of escape. After a moment something struck him, and his eyes widened in revelation.

“Who are you running from?”

Her eyes shot to his. “Wh—what?” She stammered.

_Bingo_.

He slowed the boat to a halt, stopping just a few meters from the shore. “Who is he?” he prodded.

“What makes you think it’s a man?” She said cautiously.

“So, you admit you’re running from something.” He took a step around the steering console and he moved so that he was within arm’s length of her. He crouched down in front of her and gazed into her eyes. “Who are you afraid of Amara?” he asked with a gentleness that surprised even him.

She blinked. “No—I—you—” She shook her head and adjusted her legs so that she was sitting with her back upright. “You’re putting words in my mouth.”

He continued to crouch in front of her, not removing his eyes from hers. “I can help you, you know. The resistance can help you.” He spoke with complete seriousness. He wanted to help her.

“_I need to help her_,_”_ he thought.

She scoffed as she lowered her head, breaking their gaze. “Yeah… and at what price?”

He leaned back on his heels and shook his head in disbelief. “What makes you think we would ask you for something in return for helping you?”

“Everything has a price in this galaxy,” she said quietly.

Poe decided to peel away another layer. “Is that why you’re working side hustles?” he asked with a bit of heat to his tone. “Saving money so you can get away from whomever you’re running from?”

She shook her head in disgust. “What is this? Are you psychoanalyzing me now?”

“Just trying to understand that’s all.” He remarked nonchalantly.

“Understand what exactly?” she asked.

“Why you feel the need to run away from anything when you can be running towards something. Something bigger than all of us,” he said tenderly.

“Oh god I can’t believe this. _You_ trying to understand _me_? If anything, you need to take a step back and look at yourself and ask yourself why you feel the need to keep me trapped on this boat with you and play this sick game of twenty questions!”

“Oh, I already know why I haven’t,” he said in a matter of fact tone. “And you seem like a smart woman. I’m sure you know why I haven’t taken you back to shore.” His eyes connected with hers and he saw her body flush. Heat was rising between then, and he knew she had to feel it too. Although, it could have been his pride talking but at that moment, he didn’t care. He held onto the hope that she felt this fire between them too.

_You’ll know it. You’ll feel that fire. It will be so strong that you will be afraid to touch it. Afraid that you will be burned. That’s how you’ll know you’ve found the one._

Poe’s heart skipped as he remembered his mother’s words. He hadn’t heard her voice in a long time, but when he did he couldn’t help but listen.

“Well, you’re incorrect,” Amara said, snapping Poe back to the present. She crossed her arms over her chest. She was getting defensive. Poe knew that the more defensive someone got the more he knew he was hitting the nail right on the head. She felt it too.

“Hmm… my mistake then,” Poe said with a hint of smugness. Deciding to drop the subject, he decided to ask his final question. “I just have one last question for you before you go.” He waited a few beats before lowering his voice. “Why did you kiss me?”

“Oh.” She drew out the word. Her eyes lowered and focused on his lips, before her eyes darted back to his eyes. Her cheeks reddened. Poe smiled as he realized that he caught her again. “Call it temporary insanity,” she said offhandedly. She straightened her posture and once again Poe saw the claws start to come out and he smiled. He was beginning to like her claws.

Poe eyed her carefully. “You seemed pretty sane to me,” he taunted.

“It was nothing.”

_Nothing?_ He shook his head in disbelief. He pushed a hand through his hair in annoyance. “That definitely didn’t feel like nothing.”

“It was just one kiss, flyboy. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“A light kiss on the lips… that’s just one kiss.” He leaned forward and spoke into her ear. “What you did was straddle my hips and sucked the very life out of me. What you did was definitely more than ‘just one kiss’ baby.

Being this close to her he was able to see goosebumps begin to form on her supple skin. Her breathing quickened as he whispered in her ear again. “You kissed me like you were aching for it.”

She shook her head and spoke shakily. “L-Look… I just wanted a kiss. That’s all. It was payment for helping you out.”

“You took my watch as payment,” he interrupted. “And by the way… You got a shit deal from Fusho for it.”

Her cheeks reddened at the mention of her fencing his watch.

“Just admit that you wanted me just as badly as I want you,” Poe said confidently.

She shook her head in complete disbelief. “Oh my god. Get your head out of your cockpit.”

“Call me what you want kitty cat… but I know hunger when I see it.” He whispered once more in her ear. “And baby… you were absolutely starving.”

She swallowed, and the movement of her throat caused a tightness in his pants that made him shift uncomfortably. Her lips pursed together, forming a small oh as her breathing quickened. He held back a groan as he imagined that beautiful mouth pursed elsewhere on his body.

His voice lowered. “I felt your arousal on my leg,” he said thickly. “And I bet if I probed… I’d find that same sweet wetness right here and now.”

“You’re perverted,” she said irritably as she continued to stare at him. He didn’t miss her eyes moving downward, her eyes focusing on his throat. He knew she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. He could cut through her arousal with a knife, but still she denied it. “It was just a kiss. Nothing more. I felt absolutely nothing.”

Poe couldn’t help but take her words to heart. He hated liars, and he knew that she was completely full of shit. “Then prove it.”

“Prove what?” she asked.

“Kiss me again and show me that you felt nothing.” He kept his eyes on her as he waited for her to decide how to react.

After a moment of staring at him, she surprised him when she laughed. “You really are crazy aren’t you.”

“Don’t have the guts?” he taunted.

She continued to laugh. “Guts? This isn’t about guts.”

“Then what is it about?”

“I have no reason to kiss you.”

“What about just wanting to?” he asked.

“You really are cocky aren’t you.”

“I’m just telling it like it is.” The boat slowed to a stop as it finally reached the shore, the bottom of the boat lightly dragging on the sand. “We have arrived.”

Poe waited for her to jump out of the boat. He watched she stood and placed her hand on the side, her fingers tapping on the metal carefully. He noticed how she was hesitating to jump from the boat. His eyebrow raised in surprise when instead of stepping off, she turned to face him.

He was about to question her but was silenced when she took two steps towards him, placed her hand on the back of his head and pulled his head towards her, crashing her lips against his. His breath hitched in surprise, but before he could respond she pulled away and looked him in the eyes.

“Like I said, it was nothing.” She turned and hopped onto the shore without saying another word to him.

She quickly ran to her bag and scooped it up into her arms. She quickly filtered through her things and eventually pulled out a pair of crumpled up sweat pants. She quickly pulled them on and turned to face away from him as she pulled off his sweater. She reached into her bag and pulled out a shirt that she quickly threw on over her head, covering her bare chest.

Once dressed she picked up his sweater and turned to him, holding it out for him to take. “This is yours.”

He looked at the sweater, his mouth still burned from the feel of her lips against his. When he looked at her he could see that her cheeks were slightly flushed but her expression was businesslike. He shook his head and smiled.

“Keep it. Wear it to bed as you dream about me tonight.” He winked. He didn’t wait for her reply. He had a feeling that she wasn’t going to give him the warm goodbye he wanted, and that made him smile even more knowing that he got under her skin. That’s exactly where he wanted to be. _“For now,”_ He thought. He quickly put the boat in reverse and pulled away from the shore. As he turned the boat he called out to her, “Good night Amara,” and he sped off towards the docks.

\--

Amara stood there on the shore, her hands tightly gripping the sweater as she watched him peel away from the shore and speed off towards the sunset. She clenched her jaw as she watched him disappear around the rocks and out of her sight.

“Asshole,” she growled as she wrung the sweater in her hands and stomped towards the water. She raised the sweater behind her head and went to throw it into the dark water.

_Cocky prick._

As she was about to hurl her arm forward and get rid of the sweater her breath hitched.

She was hesitating.

_Why am I hesitating?_

Her arm remained arched up over her head as she stood there frozen, her arm growing heavy and refusing to move. She stood there in silence as she watched the last sliver of the sunlight finally recede over the horizon.

“God damnit…” she cursed as her arm dropped to her side, her fingers still clutching the sweater. After a few moments she put the sweater over her head and slowly put her arms through the sleeves.

“I’m going to regret this,” she grumbled as she turned towards her belongings. As she picked up her rucksack she paused. “Wait… wear is my…” she mumbled as she looked around.

_The barnacles._

She gasped. The bag was gone. Her eyes frantically searched the area before they narrowed on a set of hoofprints in the sand.

“Shit. Shit. SHIT!” She yelled as she stomped her foot on the ground, throwing her bag off into the distance in anger.

\--

“Sir, should we move in?”

The man peered through the binoculars, adjusting the lenses so that they zoomed in on Amara’s face. He watched as he she lowered her head as she walked over to her bag that she threw in anger. He examined her as she slowly schlumped it over her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around her body as she walked up the hill towards the city.

“Sir?”

He zoomed in closer, studying her. Her long slender fingers lightly feathered the sweater she wore. He did not miss the small hint of a smile as she quickened her step. His hands gripped the binoculars tightly, the metal creaking from the pressure.

“Sir? Should we—”

“Let her be,” he said flatly. “For now.”


	6. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara learns that her past is slowly catching up to her.

Chapter 6

_Found_

Poe walked into the elevator of his hotel. He pressed the button for his floor and leaned back against the wall as he watched the doors close in front of him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a holographic card. On this card was a picture of himself with the phrase, “Enemy of the First Order,” written beneath.

After leaving the lake he returned to Fusho’s post and handed over the flower as promised. As promise, Fusho handed him that card and told him that he was on the First Order’s most wanted list. He also informed him that Chiara was an informant that was working with the First Order and ever since she spotted him at the Red Veil, a small task force had been mobilized and they were now tracking him. It wouldn’t take long before they found him and the rest of black squadron at this hotel. They needed to get out of here, and fast.

As he watched the numbers of the floors change with each level he rose he ran his hand along the back of his neck. His mind went to Amara and he couldn’t help but smile.

She was captivating, he had to give her that. With things heating up he was going to have to put a pin in whatever was going on between them. But one thing was for certain, he sure as hell wasn’t done with her yet.

“Not even close,” he asserted to no one in particular.

He looked down and noticed that he was running his thumb and forefinger along the ring that hung around his neck. He hadn’t even realized that he was doing it. Before he could delve deeper into his thoughts the elevator slowed and chimed. When the doors opened, Poe started to step forward but was slammed into by BB-8.

“Beebee what the—”

“BREEE WRRRRP BRREEET BREEET WRRRRRRRRRR!”

“Woah, woah, buddy slow down...” he knelt so that he was on the same level as his droid. “Who’s here?”

BB-8 continued to beep frantically. Poe stood and moved around the droid. He pressed her body against the wall of the elevator and peeked around the corner into the hall.

Walking down the hallway towards their room Poe saw two stormtroopers. Poe cursed and hid back into the elevator. He quickly pressed the button for the lobby. “Snap, Kare, Jess… did they—”

“WRRRP WOOOT BEET WRRR—”

“Okay good… Did they say where to meet?”

“BRRRRRREEEEEEE”

“Brilliant. Once we get there we will just need to find a ship.”

The elevator dinged a few floors shy of the lobby and the doors opened. As the doors parted Poe came face to face with two stormtroopers. Both Poe and the stormtroopers stood there frozen in surprise.

After a few moments Poe cleared his throat and gestured inside the elevator. “Hey guys…” Poe began. “Going down?”

\--

Amara groaned as she ran her hands along the side of her neck. She looked down at her watch. It had been 5 minutes since the last time she looked to see what time it was. She was barely two hours into her shift at the cantina and she was beyond ready to leave.

Ever since leaving the lake she was on edge. She had a knot that sat in the pit of her stomach. This knot was all too familiar, and usually the precursor to her quickly needing to get her things and leave.

The resistance was in Hosinian Prime, and so was the First Order. It was only a matter of time before she was found. She started going through her things in her mind. She made sure to not have any ties holding her to this planet. She didn’t have exactly what she had planned on leaving with, but she had enough to buy passage on a ship and use the remaining funds to start over.

As her mind worked through the various numbers, she saw in her peripherals someone sit in a stool at the bar and raise a hand to get her attention.

She walked over and sat a stone coaster on the counter in front of the man. “What can I get you?”

The man was wearing a heavy cloak that covered his head.

“Poe Dameron,” a deep voice spoke from under the hood.

Amara felt her breath hitch. Alarm bells immediately going off in her head. “Excuse me?”

The man pulled back the hood and looked up at her. He was bald, except for a small gray tuft of hair on top of his head. A scar, reaching from just under the right eye and ending below his brow, told a story of both war and pain. There was something frightening about him and the way his gray eyes narrowed on her sent shivers through her body. She could sense a bit of arrogance in his gaze and she knew that this man was not someone she wanted to voluntarily cross paths with. He was exactly the type of person she was avoiding.

The unfamiliar man pushed forward a holographic card on the counter towards her. She looked down at the card and saw that it was a candid picture of Poe. It was the same picture that Chiara showed her earlier of him walking down the stairs in the cantina.

Amara shook her head, not wanting to go through this questioning all over again. “Look man… I already told Chiara that I saw him at the club yesterday. I haven’t seen him since.” She shifted her weight to her other foot. She had a bad feeling about this man. She needed to end this conversation fast and get the hell out of here. Her time was up. “Look sir, if you’re not going to order anything then—"

“Now see,” the man said deeply as he gave her an unnerving smile. “One thing you’ll learn about me miss is that I do not like liars.”

Amara laughed. She tried not to sound nervous, but she was already on edge, and by his facial expression, she knew that she had failed miserably. “I’m not lying. Last I saw he was hog tied upstairs. I don’t know what happened to him after—”

Another holographic card slid across the counter and Amara felt her skin go pale as all the blood left her face.

It was a picture of her in the boat with Poe from earlier that afternoon. He was bandaging her head. Instinctively her hand reached up to touch her head, her fingers lightly brushing against the scab that was beginning to form. She looked at him and narrowed her eyes. “Are you spying on me?” She asked.

The man picked up the cards and put them back in the front pocket of his shirt. “Now I’m going to ask you again, and this time I would like an honest answer.” He looked up at her and gave her a smile that sent shivers down her spine. “Where is Poe Dameron?”

Amara decided to change her tactics. “Okay… yes I ran in to him yesterday when I was at the lake. But I don’t know anything else. He didn’t tell me where he was going.”

Out of the shadows behind the man, Amara saw two stormtroopers come into the light. Her heart quickened.

“Well if that’s the case then this won’t take very long,” he said simply as he stood from the stool.

“What won’t take very long?” she asked cautiously.

“Now… you see those men over there?” He pointed to the two stormtroopers. “They’re going to escort you upstairs and we are just going to have a little chat.”

“And if I refuse?” she said in a level tone. She wasn’t going to panic. She was taught better than that.

The man smiled at her once more. “I suggest you come upstairs with us Amara.”

Amara looked at the stormtroopers and then glanced at the exit. There was no clear path from where she was standing to the door. She knew she would have been caught instantly. She was cornered. She had was trapped. She had no choice but to bide her time until she found her out. And if that meant she had to go upstairs with these men then so be it.

Amara nodded and took a step from around the bar and walked towards the unknown man.

He placed his hand softly on her lower back and leaned down towards her. “Good girl,” he purred into her ear and Amara shuddered in disgust.

She walked with him upstairs as the two stormtroopers followed closely behind. When they reached the top of the stairs the man walked in front of her and went towards one of the rooms in the hall. It was the same room she had found Poe in the other day. She knew that if she went in there with him she would find herself headed towards the same fate he was. His hand went to the knob and he opened the door. He turned towards her and spoke.

“This way.”

Amara turned her head up to him and looked up into his eyes. She had seen this arrogance before in men, especially with men in the First Order. Men who were drunk on power and looked down on women like her as inferior. As if they were powerless.

What he underestimated was that she was taught how not to be one of those women. He had underestimated her, and she knew how to use that to her advantage.

She pulled up her leg and aimed it right at his groin. He grabbed her leg in mid air and held it in front of him. The two stormtroopers quickly came up to her sides and grabbed onto her arms, holding her in place. The man chuckled as he leaned towards her, putting his face right in front of hers.

“You aren’t the first person to try to hit me with a knee to the groin, and I suppose you won’t be the last.”

She smiled. She knew that he wasn’t going to fall for her crotch shot. Which was good. That meant he still underestimated her.

“Well at least I’m the first person to try this.”

“And what is that?” he asked curiously.

Amara smiled, and headbutted him right in the nose.

“You bitch,” he screamed as fell backward, letting go of her leg.

His hands went to his nose, blood dripping out from his fingers. When he leaned forward to stave off the bleeding, she set her foot on the ground to regain balance before she raised her knee to give him a hard crack in the chin. He fell backwards with a loud thud as he groaned.

Once her leg was free, Amara immediately slammed her foot hard into the side of the knee of the stormtrooper to her right. He quickly let go of her arm as his leg buckled and he yelped in protest. As he stumbled over to the wall beside him, she reached into his waistband and grabbed his blaster plaster pistol that was attached to his belt. She took the blaster and pointed it at the stormtrooper to her left and blasted him in the leg. As he let her go Amara took off in a sprint back down the stairs.

She snatched off her wig and tossed it to the ground as she bounded down the stairs and made her way through the club. The last thing she wanted was to be spotted by her bright red wig from a distance.

As she passed through the crowd, she could hear shouts coming from behind her. People quickly moved out of her way as they saw her holding the blaster in her hand. She made it out of the door and quickly bolted to the left, running down the alleyway and away from the club. She took an immediate left into a space between two buildings and ducked behind a trash bin. 

She crouched as she peeked around the side. After a minute she saw one of the stormtroopers, the one whose foot she stepped on she was assuming, run past her with his blaster drawn.

Amara didn’t move. She remained crouched behind the trash bin. Adrenaline coursed through her body, her heart pumping a mile a minute. She barely registered the pungent smell of the rotting trash in front of her. She shut off her sense of smell and poured that energy into heightening her sight and hearing. Her eyes quickly scanned the passing people for any hint of the remaining stormtrooper and the unknown man.

After a few moments she saw the first stormtrooper slowly come back into view in front of her. He stopped a few feet in front of her. She crouched further down, trying to make herself as small as possible. She pressed her body against the concrete wall and peered through a gap between the trash bin and the wall, her fingers gripped the blaster in anticipation for any movement he made in her direction.

She watched in silence as the scarred man walked into view and approached the stormtrooper. His nose was slightly purple from where she cracked him in the nose with her head.

“I lost her,” the stormtrooper spoke.

The man did not move and instead calmly looked at the stormtrooper in front of him. “That really is unfortunate,” he said coolly.

The man reached into the waistband of his pants and pulled out his blaster, aiming it at the stormtrooper. He didn’t flinch as he pulled the trigger.

Amara held back a gasp as she saw the mans scarred face light up red from the blast. People that were walking past screamed as they scattered from the area.

Amara looked at the lifeless body of the stormtrooper and closed her eyes. She knew that no one would mourn for that man. Soldiers like him were conditioned to disregard fallen comrades and were trained to press on, no matter the cost. She was familiar with their training, grew up watching boys and girls train in the Imperial Academy. She had grown up beside them. She knew what they had sacrificed to move up in the ranks. All this sacrifice for a cause that easily replaced them the minute there was a kink in the chain.

Her eyes went back to the man in front of her. He placed his hand out and a holographic image of a stormtrooper appeared before him.

_“Agent Terex.”_ It was a female voice. Although they were a rare sight, women were not prohibited from serving in the ranks of the stormtroopers. Amara could count the female stormtroopers on her hands, and there was only one she knew what that cold voice.

“Captain Phasma,” Agent Terex spoke from a fake warmness.

_“Did you secure Commander Dameron?”_

“My men are on their way to his place now. I should receive confirmation shortly that he is in their custody.”

_“And the girl?”_ she asked.

Agent Terex paused. “We are working on bringing her in. We had a bit of a—”

_“Grand Admiral Sloane will not be pleased Agent Terex to hear of another one of your failures.”_

Amara could see his jaw clench as his face hardened. “I have not failed.”

_“You were instructed to bring her into the custody of the First Order—”_

“I am aware of what I was tasked to do Captain Phasma,” he said with a clip of annoyance in his tone. “I will see that the mission is complete.”

_“You have failed us too many times.”_ Captain Phasma turned her head to some unknown figure out of the frame. After a moment she nodded and turned her head back to Agent Terex. “General Hux says that he will take over the mission personally if you fail to bring her in tonight.”

Amara felt her heart sink to the pit of her stomach at the mention of General Hux.

_Armitage. _

Agent Terex pressed a button on his wrist and turned off the hologram, not giving Captain Phasma an answer. He lowered his arm and straightened the sleeve of his shirt. From behind him, the remaining stormtrooper limped towards him, a crude bandage wrapped around his leg.

“Any word from the rest on Poe Dameron?” Agent Terex spoke calmly.

The stormtrooper had his mask focused on the slain stormtrooper on the ground. “No sir.” The stormtrooper turned his focus to Agent Terex. His mask completely shielding whatever emotion he had on his face. “I have not received word from them yet.”

“Let’s just hope that we hear good news.” Agent Terex looked down at the fallen trooper that he had shot down, the hole in his chest from the blast still steaming. “For all our sakes.” He stepped over the body and walked out of her sight. The final stormtrooper limped off after him, not giving the fallen man a second glance.

Amara counted her breaths. She wanted to make sure that there was enough distance between her and the two men. When she counted her one hundredth breath she slowly stood from her hiding position. She had no time, she needed to get off the planet now.

She quickly ran down the alley until she reached a ladder that was attached to the side of the building. She was able to jump high enough to catch the bottom rung of the ladder. With all her strength she was able to pull herself upwards until her feet were firmly resting on the rungs. She quickly climbed until she reached the roof of the building.

She had always known that Grand Admiral Sloane was on the lookout for her and she knew her well enough to know her tactics. She relied on the fact that Sloane did not know Amara as well as she thought she did, and as a result she always was able to be one step ahead of her.

_But Armitage_… Armitage knew her better than anyone else did. If he was now on her trail, she had little hope to stay hidden for much longer.

She was running out of options. She knew that she couldn’t go back to her home. That would be the first place anyone would search in looking for her. Instead she went back to the Red Veil.

From the roof she was able to access a door that led to the employee corridor. She was able to get inside the building, grab her stuff and head back up to the roof without being seen. Once outside she opened her bag and took quick note of the contents.

She pulled out her wallet. The contents containing the 15 credits that Fusho gave her for the watch, a fake identification card, and a debit card that was linked to her savings account. She would be able to use that to barter passage on a ship. She pulled out her spare change of clothes. Her clothes were the clothes she was wearing earlier in the day. She didn’t have time to go back to her home after the lake, which meant that she still had Poe’s sweater.

She could still smell him on it. The acrid smell of petroleum permeated her nose, but beneath the strong aroma she could smell a hint of warm clove and the remnants of fresh soap.

She stood and placed the blaster in the waistband of her pants and covered it with the sweater. She picked up the rucksack and pulled the strap so that it crossed over her body. She took a deep breath and let the scent of the sweater warm her, overpower her, and after a moment it felt as if she had renewed strength.

_You can do this._

She told herself as she took off in a run and leaped from the roof and onto the building next to her and made her way towards the ship docks.


	7. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe meets with the rest of Black Squadron at the rendezvous point while Amara tries to secure passage off Hosinian Prime.

Chapter 7

_Escape_

Poe came to an abrupt stop once he reached the end of the alleyway. BB-8 almost ran right into his legs at the unexpected stop. Poe bent forward with his hands on his knees, his chest expanding heavily as he tried to catch his breath. Between the two of them, Poe and BB-8 were able to take down those two stormtroopers with no problem. However, it wasn’t long before the remaining stormtroopers that were patrolling the hotel caught up with them in the lobby. They had narrowly made their escape out of the building. Due to their armor, stormtroopers were not known for their speed, and because of it, Poe was able to take advantage with his endurance and lose them in the scuffle. It had been some time before he didn’t hear shouting from behind them.

They ran nonstop from the hotel to the rendezvous point BB-8 spoke of at the ship docks. When Poe saw the air ships in the distance he immediately felt comfort. He always felt home in the sky, and just the sight of a ship made him feel at ease. Poe scanned the area for his crew. He held his wrist to his mouth and spoke into his commlink.

“Come in Black Squadron. This is Black Leader, over.”

After a few beats Snap’s voice echoed on the commlink.

_“Poe! Hot damn there you are! We thought you might have been taken.”_

Poe chuckled. “Oh, you know I wouldn’t have made it that easy. Where is your location?”

_“We are by bay 5. We are securing transport off this planet.”_

_“By securing… you mean stealing,”_ came Jess’ voice over the commlink.

_“Can you guys be quiet? I can’t concentrate with you guys babbling about! I’ve almost got it,” Kare spoke with annoyance._

_“Kare almost has the doors open. Once we get it we should be able to get out of here!” Snap continued._

_“Got it!” Kare exclaimed in triumph._

Poe smiled. “Nice work team. I’ll meet you there. Let’s get the hell off this planet and get back to base. Black leader out.” Poe looked down to his droid. “Let’s go Beebee. It won’t take those bucketheads long to figure out where we’re headed.”

_“WREEEEEEEEEEE!”_

BB-8 whistled as it zoomed past him and veered off towards Bay 5. Poe looked behind him one last time before taking off into a sprint after his droid.

\--

“You just missed the transport ship by 30 minutes.” The attendant at the ticket counter spoke apologetically to Amara. “Next ship leaves in the morning. You can buy a ticket for that ship if you would like to wait.”

“Damnit. I can’t wait until tomorrow,” she cursed to herself before she put her head in her hands. Now what was she going to do.

“You might want to see about speaking with some traders,” the woman added helpfully. Amara raised her head to look at her and the woman pointed towards the docks. “Some are packing up now and are fixing to leave. For the right price you might be able to find passage.”

Amara nodded. “Thank you.” She turned and walked from the counter and headed in the direction of the landing docks.

“Good luck!” The woman called after her before she closed the window to her counter and locked up for the evening.

Amara walked to the first group of traders she saw. Two burly men were struggling with a large crate as they carried it up the loading ramp. The crate seemed to move against their movements as then men struggled and cursed to keep it upright.

Amara cleared her throat. “Umm… excuse me—”

“We don’t have any money,” one of the men spoke coldly as they dropped the crate with a thud on the landing bay. The man kicked the crate and cursed. Whatever was in the cracked rattled the crate as it screeched loudly.

“I’m not looking for money. I’m just looking for passage off Hosinian Prime.” She reached into her bag and pulled out her debit card. “I can pay.”

The man shook his head. “We are all full. No more room.” He made his way down the ramp. He stopped and spoke to another man who was walking up the ramp with armfuls of paracord. “Make sure to secure that crate. I don’t want that thing popping out while we are in hyperspace.”

“Yes sir,” the man nodded as he walked towards the crate.

The first man, whom she figured was the ships captain walked towards her. Amara approached him.

“Please,” she pleaded. “I’ll pay handsomely—”

The man flipped his hand and pushed past her. “Get out of here! We got a schedule and aren’t making any extra stops.” He leaned down and picked up a large crate and placed it on his shoulder. He pushed past her again, paying her no attention.

Amara put her card back in her bag and walked off and made her way to the next dock. There were other ships leaving that evening and she would find someone to take her.

But to her dismay, she was met with the same resistance with the next two ships she approached. No one was willing to take on an extra passenger. No one was interested in money and with one look at her small frame they already decided that she wasn’t good enough to handle manual labor.

She was beginning to lose hope when she saw that the cargo bay of a light freighter ship was open. No one was around that she could see. If she moved quickly enough she could get inside that cargo hold without being seen. She didn’t know what the ship was carrying but she knew that anything was better than the alternative of her staying here.

She made her way towards the ship and paused just as she got to the door. She peered inside and didn’t see anyone in the immediate area inside. She took one look around the ship dock and didn’t see anyone milling about outside. She looked to the nearby ships and the closest ship with active crew were barely within sight and not paying any attention to anything but their current cargo.

When she felt that no one was turned in her direction, she turned and quickly climbed inside the ship. As she made her way up the ramp she could hear voices coming from the cargo hold on the left.

“God this junk smells,” a female voice said in disgust. “I don’t know what is worse… this ship or Snap’s room.”

“I heard that!” called a male voice from the front of the ship.

From behind her she could hear another female voice call out. “All clear in the back! There are two escape pods if we need to make an exit.”

Amara quietly moved to the right of the ship away from the voices and snuck through a doorway. She found herself walking into another cargo hold that appeared to be empty. She moved to the back of the hold and found a row of supply cabinets. She opened one and climbed inside, shutting herself within the cabinet.

She knew that this wasn’t the best spot for her to hide but she had few options at this point. She just hoped that they were well into hyperspace before whomever owned this ship found her. She closed her eyes and prayed that none of them were with the First Order.

\--

Poe ran up to bay 5 and saw a 720 light freighter parked in the bay with the exit ramp down. Poe quickly ran up the ramp and pressed a button to close the door behind him. He immediately ran forward towards the ladder well and climbed up into the pilot station. Snap was already at the controls checking all the levels and gauges.

Poe climbed into the captain’s seat and checked the captain’s controls. He put on the captain’s headset and tested the sound.

“Talk to me team where are we at?”

“Fuel reserves are not optimal,” Snap spoke in a business-like tone. “It looks like they didn’t have a chance to refuel yet. We don’t have enough fuel to get us back to D’Qar. We’re going to have to make a pit stop somewhere commander.”

Poe looked at the levels and calculated how far they could get. He made his own calculations but wanted confirmation from his droid. “Beebee talk to me. How far can we go in this bad boy?”

The droid began to sound off a series of beeps in quick succession. Poe listened to his droid’s calculations and he nodded as his droid confirmed his own conclusions. “That’s what I got too buddy. I know where we can stop.” Poe reached up and punched in the coordinates to their destination. “We just need to make sure that we aren’t spotted before we get into hyperspace.”

Snap leaned over to peer at the coordinates and gave a slow smile. “Been a while since you’ve been back there, hasn’t it commander?”

Poe nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He turned and gave Snap a sideways smile. “He’s not going to like it.”

Snap laughed and took a seat in the co-pilot seat. “Let’s hope he doesn’t blast us out of the sky before we are able to land.”

Poe nodded in agreement. “Here’s hoping.” Poe reached around and flipped one the last remaining switches. “Black 2, disengage anchor ties.”

Snap flipped a switch. The hissing of the anchor unclipping echoed through the ship. “Anchor ties disengaged.”

“Black-3, black-4, are you prepared for takeoff?”

“Gun it!” Kare yelled from below.

“Whooooo!” Jess whistled.

Poe looked to Snap who nodded and gave him a thumbs up. Poe smiled and placed his hands on the yoke of the ship.

“Alright team let’s get the hell out of here.”

Poe pulled back on the yoke, effortlessly guiding the ship from the loading dock. Once he was clear he turned the ship and navigated it away from the dock. He needed to get far enough away from the planet before he activated lightspeed to get them into hyperspace. The ship didn’t have enough juice to make it the entire distance at lightspeed, but he had enough to put a good amount of distance between them and the planet before coasting in autopilot to their destination.

Once Hosinian Prime was far from range Poe flipped more control switches. “Black Squadron prepare to go to lightspeed,” he spoke smoothly over the intercom. “I’m just going to go far enough to put some distance between us and the First Order. We should be out of lightspeed in just a few minutes.”

“Sounds good.”  
“Prepared for light speed.”  
“Let her rip Black Leader!”

Poe flipped the switch and the squad braced themselves as they fell back against their seats as they were shot into hyperspace. As the galaxy sped around them, Poe kept his eyes fixed on the fuel levels. Jumping to hyperspace took a huge chunk out of the fuel reserves and he didn’t want to be left stranded short of their destination.

When the fuel level just about reached the no-go level, Poe flipped the switch cancelling their lightspeed and bringing them out of hyperspace. When the ship slowed to a coast, Poe reached forward and activated the auto-pilot.

“Autopilot activated. You are free to unfasten your seatbelts and move about the cabin.” He removed his headset and stood, placing the headset on his seat. He turned and made his way down the ladder well to join Kare and Jess below deck. Snap followed close behind him. “ETA is about 12 hours before we reach Yavin-4,” Poe informed them as he reached the lower level.

Kare whooped and smiled. “Yavin-4! Ha! I haven’t been there in years!”

“Get as much rest as you can. We’ll want to fuel up and get back to D’Qar as soon as possible.” As much as it pained him, he didn’t want to spend too much time on Yavin-4. He still had so much work to do with the resistance.

Every time he visited his home it was becoming harder and harder for him to leave. He missed his home and moving from base to base was taking a toll on him. He wanted to put down roots, wanted to have somewhere to call home.

But now there was nowhere in the galaxy that was safe from the First Order. And because he was high up on the public enemy watch list he didn’t want to tie himself down to any person either. The last thing he wanted was someone to use someone he loved as leverage against him. He didn’t want to have to make the choice between someone he cared for or the cause that meant so much to so many people. What he was doing was bigger than everything and everyone.

He wasn’t selfish enough to think that his own happiness was worth more than the fight.

The crew nodded and voiced their agreement that they definitely had a long day ahead of them and that they needed to gather their energy. Poe looked around and didn’t see his droid. “Hey, where’s BB-8?”

Jess yawned and gestured to the rear of the ship. “He went to the cargo bay to on check supplies. There might be some things that we can use for the resistance on here.”

Poe nodded and stretched. His back felt tight and his muscles began to ache. He was exhausted. He had been up early that morning and hadn’t had a chance to rest. All this adrenaline that was coursing through his body had run its course and his body was starting to feel it. He didn’t know if anything was more appealing right then than falling face first onto one of the bunks in the crew quarters.

As if on cue, his stomach growled loudly. So loud that Snap turned his head and looked at Poe questioningly.

“Was that your stomach?” Snap asked with awe in his voice.

Poe’s stomach growled again as if it had a mind of its own and was responding to his question. “I need to get something to eat. I haven’t eaten since this morning. Let’s see what they have about food on this bad boy.”

“I’ll join you guys,” Kare said as she rubbed her stomach. “I’m starving too.”

Jess yawned loudly again. “I’m just going to crash. I’ll see you guys in–” 

“OOOOWREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

_ZZZZAAAP!  
THUD._

Poe, Snap, Kare, and Jess all turned and looked at each other.

“What was that?” Snap asked cautiously.

Poe took off into a sprint towards the cargo hold, the rest of black squadron following close behind. As he ran he grabbed a pipe that was in a trash bin on the ground against the wall.

A stowaway was on the ship and if it was someone from the First Order he was ready to deal with them. He rounded the corner with his arm raised high, the pipe ready to strike. He skidded to a stop as he ran through the door to the cargo hold. The rest of the black squadron bounded after him, screeching to a halt as they avoided slamming into their commander.

Poe was completely frozen as he examined the scene before him.

BB-8 had his taser out and was primed and ready to strike again. The door to one of the storage lockers was open. On the floor he saw a woman passed out on the ground. Her familiar chocolate curls pooled around her, framing her soft face. Her features were relaxed and if he hadn’t seen BB-8 next to her with a pulsing taser he would have thought she was sleeping peacefully.

His heart thumped in his chest as his eyes looked over her small form, taking in the sight of her. His feet hesitated in moving forward. He didn’t blink, afraid that if he did she would disappear and he would find that she wasn’t truly in his ship.

“Who the hell is that?” Kare asked as she peeked around Poe’s shoulder. “Jess, I thought you checked this room.”

“I did! She must have hopped on after I checked,” Jess said defensively.

“Poe is that—" Snap took a step forward and narrowed his eyes at her. He turned and looked back at his commander question in his gaze. “Isn’t that your sweater?”

Poe decided to take the chance. He blinked once.

She remained.

He blinked a secong time..

She was definitely still there.

He blinked a third time and when he saw that she was still there, he turned and looked to Snap. His lieutenant was looking at him waiting for a response. Snap eyes went down and focused on Poe’s neck before he raised an eyebrow.

Poe looked down and saw that his hand was clutching the ring around his neck once more. Poe let go of the metal object as if it had burned him.

_You’ll feel that fire…_

Amara’s body twitched. She groaned and went to roll over onto her side. Before Poe could do anything BB-8 lowered his taser and stunned her again until she fell unconscious once more.


	8. The Academy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara experiences a memory from her past.

Chapter 8

_The Academy_

Obedience. Discipline. Loyalty. That was what was drilled into the minds of all recruits. Parents often sent their troubled children to the New Republic Academies as a means to correct their child’s undesirable behavior. They put all their hope in an institution that they believed could shape their children into that of a proper galactic citizen.

To the outside, the New Republic Academy was a trusted institution that tested and trained aspiring soldiers and pilots of the New Republic. Upon graduation, officers were enlisted as lieutenants and given their first assignment. They were able to rejoin society, and the lucky ones were able to return to their lives at home. For most recruits, that was what was expected. Unfortunately, not everyone had that luxury, for there was a serpent hiding in plain sight within the weeds.

Deep within the Academy, a growing movement threatened to shake the very core of the New Republic. The First Order worked hidden under the disguise of the New Republic Academies. They took students who wouldn’t be missed by their families and sent them for training at the command of the First Order.

Students that were selected went through the most gruesome training that far exceeded that of anything taught in the academy. They were pushed to both their physical and mental limits and those that thrived under such strict trainings were recruited into their upper ranks.

Amara had seen the aftermath of what these academies put their recruits through first hand. Every day she stood by and watched as men and women were pushed until they collapsed from their own physical and mental exhaustion.

Whenever they broke down, she would stand in silence and watch as those deemed too weak were carried and taken to be reconditioned. After reconditioning they were thrown out to the field to start over. Day by day she watched as the recruits changed and morphed into the most mindless and brutal soldiers she had ever seen.

S was put through similar training. She was trained in various combat techniques and was taught how to withstand torture. She was held to a cut above the rest due to her status within the order.

She was not a child thrown away. She had been born in her position of power and was being trained to take her place in the highest ranks. When she was under the First Order’s eye she was the model student. Admiral Sloane would point to her at assemblies and would use her as an example of the future of the Republic.

Amara always stood there stoically, her eyes focused ahead as the leaders of the First Order indoctrinated their ideals. She kept her silence and her fortitude up until the moment she closed the door to her room. When the door locked into place, Amara would drop to her knees and scream.

And always she would be interrupted by a tentative knock on her door.

She already knew who was behind the door when she opened it just enough to let them inside. As he walked past her into her room, she looked around the hall. When she didn’t see anyone, she closed the door and threw the lock. Without waiting for an invitation, she went into his open arms and buried her head in his chest.

She took comfort in the feel of his warm hands tenderly caressing her hair.

“I don’t how much longer I can do this,” she said quietly against his chest.

He remained silent as his hand continued to smooth her hair. The gesture always soothed her nerves. She could feel him twirling the curly strands around his slender fingers.

He never said anything to her in those moments. He knew that all she wanted was a space to vent, a confidant that would let her pour all her burdens on and just absorb the pain.

But today she was done. She couldn’t stand around silently anymore. She pulled back enough to look up into his blue eyes, eyes that mirrored a similar pain to her own.

He had grown up in the same world as her. He grew up with an ambitious family that wanted nothing more than to gain as much power as possible. They were both being molded in the image of the First Order.

“Let’s go. You and me. Let’s escape this place.”

He raised his hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You know we can’t,” he said softly.

She shook her head. “But that’s just it. We _can_.”

He pulled away and took a step back from her. He ran his hand through his red hair, hair that mirrored that of his father. She knew better than to bring up any similarities that he shared with the man. To say that he had a bad relationship with his father was an understatement.

While Amara routinely would get praise for her accomplishments, he received no praise and was treated like any other recruit. Except, unlike the recruits, he was held to an impossibly high standard that not even the best soldier could rise to.

When he underperformed, he was disgrace, and when he performed magnificently, he was told that he still had room for improvement. Although he never said the words out loud, Amara knew that he hated his father.

Amara watched as he walked away from her, his head shaking back and forth. “And just where would we go?” He asked in a flippant tone.

She wasn’t surprised at his response. Often, she would talk about running away, and every time she fell short of actually following through. But what he didn’t know was that this time was different.

This time she had a plan.

“We can go anywhere we want to.” She turned and went to her bed. She pulled back the carefully made bedsheets and exposed her mattress. She ran her hand along the seam of the mattress before her fingers reached past a slit that was carefully hidden. She reached her hand inside and pulled out a small wooden box.

He walked towards her slowly and eyed the box in her hands, his brow furrowed as his mind worked what she was about to show him. She cupped the box in between them and slowly opened the lid. “I have been saving credits. I don’t have a lot, but I have enough to get us passage off Hosinian Prime.”

He eyed the box. He didn’t reach out to touch it but instead appeared to examine the contents. After a moment he finally spoke, his voice just barely above a whisper. “You’re really serious about this?”

She nodded and she closed the box. She walked back to her bed and quickly put the box back its hiding place in her mattress. She pulled the covers back and remade her bed to the standards that she was taught, with the corners perfectly folded and not a wrinkle in sight. When the bed was made she sat down on the edge of the bed and put her head in her hands and took a deep breath.

“Being here is killing me. I cannot stand by while the First Order is spewing these poisonous philosophies. I refuse to be the poster child for this organization. Not anymore.”

Amara stood and walked towards him. He continued to stare at where she put the box away, his gaze not meeting hers.

She stopped and stood in front of him. She raised her hands and placed them gently on the sides of his face, turning his head so that he was looking down at her. He was so much taller than her, the top of her head barely reaching the bottom of his chin. She craned her head back so she could look into his blue eyes, which were now clouded.

“I also cannot stand by and watch what they’re doing to you. They’re hurting you, just like they’re hurting me. I want you to come with me. I can’t leave without you.” She reached down and took his hands in hers.

His eyes continued to look down at her. His eyes seemed to search hers for an answer to some question he was asking but she was unable to hear. After some time he reached up and ran his hands through his hair once more, his fingers pulling on the ends of his hair. “Amara—I—I don’t—”

She pulled him towards her, and she wrapped her arms around him tightly. “Please. Please come with me. I refuse to leave without you. We don’t have to grow in their mold. We can be just you and me. We can escape. We can just be two people who love each other.”

He squeezed her tightly and rested his chin on her head. They stood there molded together for what seemed like and endless amount of time. When she was in his arms time slowed and for the first time in her life she did not feel alone. She was with someone who shared her pain and understood her. She was grateful to have him in her life and she refused to leave him.

After a long reflection he spoke quietly. “When would we leave?”

Amara let out a heavy sigh as her body started to tense with anticipation. He was considering her idea. The picture of their life together began to form and become clearer in her mind.

“There is a transport supply ship leaving tomorrow night. If we move quickly, we can get on it. The captain is with the resistance and he says that if we want safe passage all we have to do is find him. I’ve already spoken to him and he says that tomorrow will be his last drop-off before he moves to other routes and someone else will take his place. If we want to leave then tomorrow is our best chance.”

He fell silent once more. She closed her eyes and kept her head pressed against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat was the only thing keeping her calm in this situation. He held their future within his hands, and she just hoped that he was willing to take this risk with her. Because without him, she didn’t think she had the nerve to do it on her own.

“Alright.”

She barely heard him. She turned her head up and looked at him. “You’ll do it?”

He nodded. “Tomorrow.”

She let out a deep breath in relief before nodding. “Tomorrow,” she said softly.

He leaned down and lifted her chin so that her face was angled up towards him. He pressed his lips against her softly. His lips were cold against hers, his kiss timid but methodical. He never went deeper than the surface. It had taken her years before she was able to get him to give her that first kiss. They were each other’s first and they were slowly learning what it meant to show love for another person. They both grew up in families that were as cold as they were power hungry. Neither of them knew what it felt like to have any kind of physical comfort, but together they were teaching each other. Her heart fluttered each time he touched her and when he finally gave in to his urges and kissed her, she felt the coldness around her beginning to melt.

His kisses were never what great stories wrote about, but with each kiss she saw more of his walls breaking. He was breaking away from the mold of his father and she was beginning to see the man he was slowly becoming.

Their kisses never lasted long, but she did find that with each kiss was getting longer. After he kissed her he would always pull away and rest his forehead against hers, his eyes closed as he seemed to breathe her in.

With a final goodbye he left her, and she was once again alone in her room.

After locking the door behind him she went to her closet and began to pack a small travel bag. She filled it with a couple changes of clothes and a few other necessities.

She looked at her belongings and felt sadness. Out of everything she had she did not have anything of significant emotional value. There was nothing in her possession that filled her with any wistfulness or longing. She was just a shell with nothing of import within.

She shook her head and continued to pack. She might not have anything of import now, but that was going to change. She was going to leave, and together they were going to start a new life together.

When she went to bed that night she dreamt of new possibilities and of a brighter future. She dreamt of the family she wanted and the life she wanted for herself. For the first time in her life she felt _hope_.

The following morning, she was awoken by the sound of a knock on her door. She looked at the clock and saw that it was an hour before her alarm was to go off. She was confused and wondered if she had imagined the knock all together.

But then she heard it again.

She stood and quietly walked to her door. When she opened the door a crack, she saw those familiar blue eyes. Lines of worries filled her brow as she looked at him in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

Before he could respond a gloved hand came from behind him rested upon his shoulder. Stepping into view, Admiral Sloane narrowed her deep brown eyes at Amara.

“Amara.”

Admiral Rae Sloane was a rare breed. She is one of the very few high-ranking female Imperial Officers. Having to navigate a male dominated world, Rae Sloane could not afford to be soft. She learned early on that being nice did not get you far in a man’s world. She worked overtime to become one of the Navy’s top officers and she learned to never expect any favors thrown her way. She also had no qualms about using force and harsh measures against anyone who did not work in the favor of the First Order.

“Admiral. I—what do I owe the pleasure?” Her back straightened in alarm. There was absolutely no reason for Sloane to be at her room, especially at this hour.

Admiral Sloane nodded towards her room. “I am requesting access to your room. Please step aside.”

Amara looked to the man in front of her for any kind of support, but he was unmoving. His blue eyes were emotionless as he looked past her. After realizing that he wasn’t going to show any hint of why he was there with Sloane, Amara spoke cautiously.

“May I ask what for Admiral?”

“Routine search is all. No cause for alarm.” She raised her hand and motioned towards two storm troopers who were standing in the hall. The two soldiers, who were previously standing stoically behind her moved in unison towards her room.

Amara stepped to the side as she let them all into her room. The small room quickly felt cramped with everyone standing around. She fell back against the wall, her stomach dropping as the storm troopers moved around her room. After a few minutes of searching her closets, drawers, underneath her mattress, and everywhere else she might hide anything of import, the stormtroopers turned to Admiral Sloan and shook their heads. Their search had returned nothing.

Amara continued to breath easily. She was used to these searches. She had prepared for them. What she wasn’t prepared for however, was watching the man she trusted walk towards her bed and pull back the bed sheets.

_No. _

She felt the blood drain from her face as she watched him skim his fingers along the seam and find the hidden slit.

_No. No. No. No. No. No. No._

She watched in horror as he reached inside, pulled out the small box within and handed it over to Admiral Sloane.

“Excellent work Lieutenant Hux.”

“General.” He nodded and stood, placing his arms behind his back. His eyes darted towards her momentarily before they stared straight ahead.

“Armitage…you—you sold me out?” Amara spoke in a confused whisper. “How could… _why_ would you do this?”

“He came to me and told me some troubling things about you.” Admiral Sloane began. “He was worried. As am I.”

“You’re not worried about me,” Amara spat. “You never have.”

Admiral Sloane stood and continued to look at her with a hard stare. “That’s is not true Amara.”

“Just cut the shit.” Amara spat, her anger rising to the surface. “All you care about is your own ambitions. I am just a means to rebuild the empire. There is nothing stopping you from exterminating me like the others who have failed the First Order.”

Amara stood tall as she faced off with Admiral Sloane. Her dark eyes mirrored hers in their unwavering gaze. Deep down she wanted to believe that Sloane would not dispose of her like the others. She wanted to believe that she knew who Rae Sloane was, but as Amara grew in age she saw less and less any redeeming traits in the woman. She had learned that she needed to remove these crazy fantasies from her head about who Rae Slone was.

“I am sorry you feel that way Amara but you should know that I’ve only had your _best_ interests at heart. I want to see you succeed, not as a cadet but as someone who could surpass me one day. You have so much ambition. You could be so much more.”

Amara didn’t try stopping her laugh. She let it flow out of her and over take her. She laughed even more as Sloane’s brow furrowed in irritation. Admiral Sloane did not like being made a fool of, and with Amara laughing, that is exactly what she was looking like.

“You can’t keep doing this Amara, and frankly you’ve left me with not other options. I have no choice but to send you to be reconditioned.” She nodded to the two stormtroopers.

Amara’s laugh was sucked out of her and panic took over as the two soldiers walked towards her. She backed up in her room as she held out her hands. “No. No. NO! Stop! You can’t.”

_Amara…_

The two stormtroopers grabbed her arms, quickly pulled them behind and her expertly bound her hands together with zip restraints. As Amara thrashed, she turned to Armitage and pleaded. “Armie… Please. You can’t let them do this.”

_Amara…_

He continued to look ahead. His features unmoving. The only movement was that of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed.

“Let me go! Get your hands off me!” Amara screamed as she thrashed against the strong arms holding her. She couldn’t believe that this was happening to her.

_Amara wake up._

“Please Armitage. Don’t let them take me. PLEASE!” She cried as she was pulled past him. She tried to move towards him but was held back. Her cheeks became hot as tears fell down her face. She couldn’t believe that he would do this to her. She trusted him.

_Come back to me._

His eyes closed as he lowered his head. The tendons in his neck hardened as he clenched his jaw. He wasn’t going to say anything. He was just going to let this happen. Sloane moved to stand beside him, her hand rested on his shoulder firmly.

“She will be fine Armitage. You did the right thing.”

“You cannot do this,” she cried as she continued to pull at her binds. “You will not erase me like the others!” She winced as one of the men holding her jerked her arm backwards. “Ouch, you’re hurting me.”

At that Armitage finally opened his eyes and turned to her.

_Baby... Please._

“I’m sorry Amara. But this will all be over soon,” he stated sympathetically.

Amara’s heart felt as if it broke in two as she was pulled through the door and down the hall. Her screams echoed down the hallway as she tried desperately to break free. She could feel someone place their hand on her face and she flinched away at the unexpected touch.

“ARMITAGE! ARMITAGE!” She continued to cry for help, but she knew that everyone would remain behind their closed doors. They were either conditioned to not care, or too scared to step out, afraid that they would be the next person reconditioned.

That hand on her face returned and she felt someone begin to shake her shoulder. When she tried to fight the touch, she felt it come back stronger. She heard her name being spoken in her ear, each time louder than the next. She fought back against them each time. She would _not_ be another victim. She would _not_ let them take her away. She was going to get out whatever the cost. She was going to get away. She was—

_“AMARA!”_

Amara gasped as she opened her eyes. Her body flailed in alarm. She was surprised when she realized that her arms were no longer restrained. Her vision was blurry but in front of her she could make out the form of dark figure, their rough palm lightly resting on her cheek.

She was about to push him away when his thumb brushed past her nose and she smelled that familiar scent of petrol and clove. She blinked harder in order to clear her vision.

“Poe?” she rasped.

His hand moved to the top of her head and he slowly ran his fingers through her hair. “Welcome back. Thought I lost you there for a second.”

“Wh—where am I?” Her eyes darted around the room and she saw that she was no longer standing in the hallway but instead in a dark room. She could feel the rough fibers of a wool blanket beneath her. She looked down and saw that she was laying down on a cot. When she tried to sit up her limbs felt wobbly and it felt like her strength was drained from her body.

Poe pushed her back down on the cot. His hand didn’t leave her body, but instead began moving slowly up and down her arm. The gesture, while foreign to her, was extremely soothing. “Easy there tuck cat. You got hit with 50 thousand volts of electricity. You might want to take it easy a bit.”

“50 thousand? What—"

Immediately she was flooded with memory of the last 24 hours. Being questioned by the Agent Terex, escaping possible torture, sneaking on this ship, hiding in a supply closet, being found by that droid, and then becoming lit up like a Christmas Tree.

She saw a flash of white and orange from behind Poe. She peeked around him and saw the droid in question focus its lens on her. She could see the little droid eyeing her up and down. Her eyebrow raised as she looked at him.

“You pack one hell of a punch I’ll give you that one,” she said to the droid. She had to give credit where credit was due. Even if it hurt like hell.

Poe laughed as he sat back and looked down at his droid. His hand moved from her arm and immediately Amara felt cold. She wanted him touching her again.

And she hated herself for it.

He smiled as he looked at the droid. “Yeah, Beebee is one special droid.” His gaze turned to hers and after a moment the smile left his face.

He leaned forward as he rested his elbows on his knees. His hands clasped together in front of him. His eyes searched hers as he appeared to carefully think of what he was to say next. “You know you put me in a bit of a situation, don’t you?”

Amara shook her head fervently as she sat up, ignoring the way her limbs felt like jelly. _What the hell did that droid hit me with?_

“No, please. I promise I won’t be a problem.”

Poe continued to stare at her, his gaze unmoving. “Now you see, it seems like we _do_ have a problem. You snuck onto my ship and I don’t trust you enough to take you where we are headed.”

She turned to face him. “No, look… you can just drop me off at your next stop and I promise you will never see me again.”

“And lead whoever is chasing you right to us? I don’t think so.”

Amara shook her head. “No. No one knows where I am. No one saw me get on to your ship. I was extremely careful.”

He continued to study her, his gaze unreadable.

She had no idea what was going on in that head of his. She had no idea if he was going to take her for her word or if he was going to open the hatch and leave her out in space. At that moment, either option sounded fine to her. Her time was running out and she couldn’t run forever. There were few options left to her, and she knew that death was still on the table. Eventually this game of roulette would end, and either she would see freedom, or she would be looking down the barrel of a loaded blaster.

“I am only going to ask this one time,” he began carefully. “And you better give me the truth. Otherwise BB-8 is going to light you up again.” He gestured to the droid behind him.

She looked over at the droid and watched as a little arm fly out from his body, the end glowing with electricity. The droid looked like he meant business.

She gulped as she looked to Poe to hear his question.

His eyes fixed on hers. His gaze studying her every movement. “Who are you to General Armitage Hux?”

_Shit._


	9. Who Are You?

Chapter 9

_Who Are You?_

“Who are you to General Armitage Hux?”

Poe studied Amara’s reaction. He had to give her credit where credit was due, she had been trained well. She remained unflinching at the mention of Hux’s name. He would have believed that she had no idea what he was talking about if he hadn’t watched her struggle in her sleep with his own eyes and heard the words coming out of her mouth.

After discovering her in the cargo bay, Snap helped him pick her up. With Snap clearing the way, Poe carried her limp body in his arms to the crew’s quarters. After laying her down on the first cot he reached he took a step back and really looked at her.

His heart thumped proud in his chest as he saw that she was still wearing his sweater from earlier. After their last meeting he was sure that she would have tossed it.

He was also sure that he wouldn’t see her again.

He knew that their paths were never meant to cross and that they both lived two completely different lives.

While he wanted to get out on the front lines, she wanted to stay and hide amongst the shadows. Hell, he couldn’t judge her for it. This war made many people afraid, and it was unreasonable to expect everyone to take a stand. Some people were not afforded that type of luxury.

But when he saw her on his ship again, he couldn’t deny the pull he felt at his heart. He saw the look that Snap gave him when noticed him holding his mother’s ring. Only Snap knew what that ring meant to him, and he knew that Snap would have a million questions for him when they were alone.

He heard the footsteps of the rest of his squad coming to a halt outside the door. He could hear low murmurs that they were making to each other.

He knew that they questions for him.

He knew that they wanted answers.

That is why when he turned to look at his team, his shoulders back as he look at each one of them, he slammed the door shut in their faces, and closed himself inside the room with Amara.

He ignored the shouts and protests that came from the opposite side of the door as he threw the lock. He did not want to face his crew right now.

He wasn’t ready for their questioning. He wasn’t ready because he didn’t have an answer for any of the questions they would have. He couldn’t even begin to process all his own questions that were swirling around his head like a vortex.

_Is she really here? How did she get here? _

_Did she know he was on this ship? Did she follow him? _

_Is she working for someone? Is she running from someone or something?_

_Is she okay? Is she still breathing?_

_Okay she is breathing. Am I breathing? _

_Why does it feel like all oxygen has left my body?_

“WRRRRRP EEEET”

The mechanical beeps pulled him out of the thought spiral he was caught in. Poe looked down and saw that BB-8 was still in the room with him.

He shouldn’t have been surprised. His droid was a part of him and was rarely from his side. BB-8 was loyal to him and regarded him as more than just a master but a confidant, and Poe would be a liar if he didn’t admit that he felt the same.

At times when Poe found himself unable to trust the rest of his squadron, he knew he could always turn to BB-8. They each would look after each other and Poe thought of the little droid as more than just an astromech, but as family.

“OOOOT RRRRRP?”

He sighed. “Yeah, I know her.”

“BRRRRT EEEEEE?”

“Nah Beebee I’m not mad.” He gave his droid a reassuring smile. He held up his index and thumb and pressed them close together. “Maaaaaaybe use a little less voltage next time.”

BB-8’s dome head drooped, and he made a very melancholic beep. Poe held back a laugh at the disappointment the droid showed. He was about to say something when Amara stirred.

_“No.”_

Her voice was barely above a whisper, but he didn’t miss the fear in her voice. He knelt beside the cot and brushed her hair off her face. Her face was scrunched, her mouth pursed together in a grimace. Her knuckles slowly turning white as her fingers tightly gripped the fabric of the blanket beneath her.

“What’s going on in that head of yours,” he pondered out loud.

_“No. No. Stop!”_

Her voice was getting louder, and her arms twitched as if she was fending off an attack. He gently placed his hand on the side of her face and spoke.

“Amara.”

He needed to wake her up. Being with people who saw war first hand, he was all too familiar with night terrors. They were extremely common among the members of the resistance.

Night terrors were unlike typical bad dreams. They often involved physical thrashing and could prove dangerous for the person experiencing the terror.

While he wanted to wake her up, he needed to tread carefully. He didn’t want to cause her more confusion and/or possibly shock. He knew he needed to approach her with gentleness and comfort.

_“Please… Armitage… Don’t let them take me.”_

That… that caused him to pause. He knew that name.

It wasn’t a totally unique name, sure. Hell, he probably could name a handful of people with that same name. But his gut told him that he knew exactly who her _Armitage_ was.

“Come back to me,” he whispered into her ear as he got down on his knees in front of her.

_“You’re hurting me.”_

He knew she wasn’t talking to him but instead to whomever she was seeing in her sleep, but he couldn’t stop himself from pulling his hand away from her.

“Baby… Please,” he pleaded softly.

“Armitage! Armitage!”

Watching her struggle in pain and hearing her call out that man’s name caused bile to move up the back of his throat as he felt pulse rise from anger. _What the hell is he doing to you?_ He couldn’t take this anymore.

He needed this to stop _now_.

He gripped her arm tightly and jerked her hard. “AMARA!”

* * *

“What do you think is going on in there?” Jess questioned as she pressed her ear against the door.

Kare stood facing the closed door, her arms crossed over her chest. She shrugged. “My guess is one of two things. Either A, he is tying her up so he could question her and see why she thought she could stowaway on _our_ ship—”

“Technically we stole the ship, so it wasn’t really ours to begin with,” Jess muttered under her breath as she pressed more of her body against the door. She couldn’t hear anything through the thick metal. She glanced at Kare and saw that she was looking at her with obvious annoyance. “Sorry if we’re going to start throwing stones, I wanted to at least point out that we aren’t blameless either… you know, glass houses or whatever. Anyways, please continue. So ‘A’, he is torturing her? I never saw Poe as the torturing type.”

Kare shook her head and sighed. “No, he’s not. That’s why it’s probably ‘B’. He has her tied up in there for _other_ reasons,” she said as she wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“What reasons?” Jess asked. When she was met with silence, she realized her mistake and immediately blushed. “Oh god. He wouldn’t. Not with Beebee in there. _Would he_?”

Kare shrugged. “Who knows what that droid has seen.” She groaned and ran her hand over her face. “I’m not going to stand out here all night. He obviously has it handled, _whatever_ he is doing in there. It’s already been a crazy night and my body is on reserves. I’m going to grab a bite and head to bed.”

Jess nodded and pulled away from the door. “Yeah, same. I can’t hear anything anyways. I’m going to go straight to bed. Wake me if anything new happens.” Jess walked down the hallway and turned into one of the crew quarters and shut the door behind her.

Kare started to walk away but noticed that Snap was still standing in the hallway, his head down. He looked as if he was lost in thought. Kare walked to him and put her hand on his shoulder. “Snap, you coming?”

He looked up at her with confusion. He shook his head and blinked a couple times. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I asked if you were coming. Jess is going to bed and I was going to grab something to snack and head to bed.” She ran her hand up and down his arm gently. “You want to join me?”

Snap nodded. “Yeah. Yeah sure.”

* * *

“Who are you to General Armitage Hux?”

Amara made sure to be careful to keep her eyes focused on Poe’s. She was prepared for this. She was prepared for the time that someone would begin to put pieces of her past together. She was taught that the best way to avoid being caught in a lie was to tell as much of the truth that was allowed.

“I am nothing to General Hux.”

That was not a lie. He had made it clear that he held little regard for her. If he had truly cared, he would have left with her all those years ago.

“You told me that you weren’t with the First Order,” he spoke, his tone accusatorial. Poe’s questioning gaze never left hers, his eyes doing nothing to hide his anger.

“And I was telling you the truth. I am not with the First Order.” Amara’s voice was more defensive than she would have liked. She didn’t owe him anything. He wasn’t anything to her and his reaction shouldn’t have stung. But she couldn’t stop the feeling of her stomach dropping, nor could she stop herself from saying the next thing that came out of her mouth. “Not anymore.”

“Not anymore? What do you mean ‘_not anymore_’?”

Her head lowered and she nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. “I used to be part of the First Order, but I am not anymore.”

She saw him pull back in his seat. He stood and walked the two steps to the set of bunks on the opposite side of the room. He groaned as he turned and sat on the bottom bunk. He rested his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his hands.

“Look, I know what this sounds like… But I _promise_ you that I am of no threat to you and your team.”

“A _threat_. Boy are you wrong about that,” he mumbled as he ran his hand across his face, his eyes hooded as his eyes avoided hers.

“Look, I don’t want to be a part of what the First Order is doing. I refuse. Like I said, drop me off anywhere you like. Hell, open the landing bay and throw me out—”

His head snapped up. “You think I would toss you out with the garbage?” His brows furrowed, his anger bubbling up to the surface once more. He raised his hands as he was about to say something, but he hesitated, before placing his head back in his hands. His thumb and forefinger pinched the bridge of his nose.

_“It wouldn’t be the first time someone did,”_ she thought to herself, not daring to say those words out loud. She didn’t have anything to say to him. She didn’t know what to say.

“Are you running from them?”

She didn’t say anything, letting her silence speak for her.

“Who are you… really?”

She owed him her name at least. “My name is Amara Elaine.”

Just not her whole name.

* * *

After getting a snack from the kitchen pantry Kare invited Snap to join her in her quarters. Snap climbed into the cot first and then Kare crawled over his chest. She curled up against him with her back against the wall. She placed her head on his chest and rested her arm across his body. Snap took her hand in his and lazily began to trace his thumb along the back of her hand.

After a while Kare noticed that his breathing hadn’t changed. She looked up at him and saw that he was still awake, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“Snap, what’s up? You haven’t said anything in a while.”

He shook his head. “There is something about her… Something that I can’t quite put my finger on.”

“Is she the girl you told me about that stole his watch?”

“I believe so. Well… it seems pretty obvious with the way he reacted to seeing her. But that’s not what is getting me.”

“What is it then?”

“I think I know her. I just don’t know how.”


	10. Courage

Chapter 10

_Coward_

_“Commander, I am glad that you got out of there in one piece.”_

“Now General…Would you expect anything less from Black Squadron?”

Poe casually leaned against the wall of the pilot’s station, his arms crossed over his chest. He smiled as he spoke to the flickering hologram before him. The sight of General Leia Organa always astounded him. She always stood with a commanding presence. She was fierce, outspoken, headstrong… qualities that every good leader needed. And everything that he wanted to be.

_“There is a fine line between confidence and cockiness, commander. Make sure you don’t erase it.”_ General Organa spoke sternly. Even with the shoddy transmission that this ship provided, he could see the frown on her face.

Poe tried his best to hide the smile that was beginning to form at the corners of his lips. He had heard this word of caution from his general many times before.

He could see how people would mistake his confidence for cockiness. But his attitude was necessary as a leader. He needed to be confident in himself first and foremost. Being a leader required being confident enough in your own decisions and those of your team. Being a leader meant solving problems. The day people stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case was a failure of leadership.

Poe would never let himself fail.

It was never an option.

_“What is your ETA?”_

Poe glanced at the navigation system before looking back at his general. “ETA is about 8 hours and 32 minutes until we hit Yavin-4’s atmosphere.”

_“Your father will be happy to see you.”_ Even in hologram Poe noticed the fine smile lines forming at the corner of her eyes when she spoke of his father.

“_Happy_ isn’t the word I would use.” Poe ran his hand along the back of his neck. “But we can hope, right?” he added optimistically.

_“How long has it been? Six… Seven months?”_ She prodded.

He cleared his throat before carefully answering. “A year.” He winced at how it sounded coming from his lips.

He hadn’t meant to be gone for an entire year. He wanted to say that it was because of his work with the resistance that kept him away from his home. General Organa knew his family personally and she made it known that he was welcome to go home at any time. But every time he had the opportunity to take some time off, he found some reason to stay on base.

His ship was too damaged from the last mission.

He wanted to support his team.

_Maybe next week. _

For Poe is was always next week. After a while the question was never brought up again, and before he knew it an entire year went by.

_“Well it seems like you have a lot to catch up on. I want you to dump the ship. They will have noticed that it is missing by the time you land and I do not want you to be identified in orbit. Just hang tight and we will send a ship to pick you up.”_

“Sounds like a plan.”

_“I look forward to having you all back. Once again, good work Poe.” _Her approval was evident, and Poe savored every minute of it. Nothing made him happier than making General Organa proud.

Before she turned off the transmission Poe took a step forward. “General, there is one other thing.”

Her hand paused over the controls and she looked to him, waiting for him to continue. _“Yes, commander?”_

“When we left hyper speed we discovered that there was a stowaway on board. She says that she used to be with the First Order but that she deflected.”

_“That isn’t surprising. There are quite a few people who have approached the resistance looking for help. Was she looking for safe passage?”_

“That’s what she says, yes.”

_“You sound as if you don’t believe her.”_

Poe didn’t know exactly how to answer. He always went with his gut in every situation. He learned that he could always trust it. But this was the first time his gut pulled him in two different directions. His gut told him that she was hiding something from him, something that he knew deep down he wasn’t going to like hearing.

But his gut also told him that he needed her. It had been a long time since a woman had aroused his interests as Amara Elaine had. The moment he had seen her standing behind that bar he had wanted her. He couldn’t deny the pull he felt towards her when he stared into her eyes. Eyes that were so dark that he felt as if he was looking into an endless stretch of midnight sky. Her eyes were a black hole that, if he wasn’t careful, would put him in danger of falling into it’s pull. When he was near her, he felt as his every part of him was falling.

“The jury is still out on that one.”

At that General Organa chuckled. She leaned forward and tilted her head, a grin radiating on her face. At that moment she was no longer his general, but someone dearer to him, a figure that he had been so long without in his life.

_“She must be really beautiful,”_ she said softly.

Poe raised an eyebrow. “Are you insinuating that I am unable to be impartial General?”

_“I’m just noticing that you are a man. A man who wears his hearts on his sleeves. Or more accurately, around his neck?”_ Her hand gestured to her own neck.

He looked down and cursed as he saw that he was nervously fiddling with the ring around his neck. He needed to find a better place for it because he was tired of people pointing out his newly formed twitch. Poe shook his head as he tucked the chain under his shirt. “I’m sorry, but are you leading to an actual point, General?”

She tilted her head back as she regarded him steadily, her mouth still formed into a knowing grin. _“Just making an observation.” _When Poe didn’t comment she continued. _“Did she say she wanted to be taken to the Resistance?”_

“She did not. She expressed no interested in either being involved with the Resistance or with the First Order. She wanted to be dropped off at our next stop.”

_”Did she give you her name?”_

“Amara Elaine.”

Poe’s became alert when he saw the smile on General Organa’s face fall. _What was going on?_

“Does that name mean anything to the resistance?”

Her brow furrowed as she seemed to be contemplating something. After a moment she shook her head. “No, it does not.” She straightened and her posture once again was that of a General. “Just sit tight on Yavin until that transport ship arrives.”

“And of Amara?”

“Let her go where she wishes. We are not in the business of taking prisoners.”

Poe nodded. “Yes, General.”

_“But Poe…”_

“Yes, General?”

_“Just make sure that she wishes to come with us.”_

* * *

Amara sighed as her fingers finished braiding her hair into a long plait. Her fingers played with the loose ends as she thumped her head against the wall. He told her not to leave the room and to make sure that she didn’t, he commanded his droid to stay and keep watch. She rolled her eyes as he left the room. Having the droid watch her was overkill and laughable.

Where did he honestly think she was going to go? Unless she suddenly became suicidal, there was no place that she could go on this ship where she wouldn’t be found. She cursed as she leaned forward and put her head in her hands.

Out of all the ships to choose, she had to choose the one that belonged to him. She didn’t want to be a part of any of this. If she could go back in time, she never would have helped him escape. If she had just gotten her things and left, she never would be in this situation. The First Order never would have caught up with her. She would have the money she needed to get off Hosinian Prime and she would have been starting her life over. Now she was stuck on a ship with a man that meant nothing but trouble. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” She chastised herself quietly.

“BRRRREE?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Nothing…”

She was not in the mood to answer the droid’s questions. Thankfully the droid resumed it’s silent watch over her.

Her nightmares were becoming few and far between, but they still crept up enough that she dreaded the nights. She always was brought back to that night where she lost everything.

He betrayed her.

He sold her out to Sloane and did nothing when she was sent for reconditioning.

She had trusted him with her heart and he still betrayed her. But the one betrayal she could never get over was done to her by her own heart. Even though Armitage hurt her beyond compare, her heart still yearned for him.

At night when she felt the most alone, she would grasp at her pillow and pretend he was with her once more. She would imagine his cool lips against hers, his long slender fingers carefully exploring the contours of her skin. She imagined seeing his piercing blue gaze, eyes that were so blue that she thought they contained their own sky. A sky so filled with grey-blue clouds that she felt that in an instant she would see lightning strike within the icy depths.

She hated him for what he did, and she hated herself even more that even through everything she endured she couldn’t deny one important fact.

She still loved him.

Her mind replayed her dream. She saw Armitage standing in front of her. She could almost feel his cool hands cupping her face as he leaned down to press his lips against hers. She sighed as the familiar comfort began to take form. But it didn’t take long before she felt a shift. No longer were the lips against hers cool and methodical but instead they began to radiate a scorching heat. She began to pull away, but she felt a hard reach up to grip the back of her neck, keeping her in place. She could feel a soft tongue feathering her lips, begging to be allowed to explore. When she conceded and opened her mouth, she felt the lips against her moan in approval.

The kiss was no longer tentative but demanding. This kiss was strong and savage, and she wanted to be engulfed in it. When she pulled away, she was no longer looking into those familiar blue eyes, but instead of eyes the color of deep earth after a summer rain. His eyes were the ground beneath my feet that kept her stable through the ever-changing earth.

In her dreams when she was kissing Armitage she felt as if she were falling, but now she felt as if she was caught and was being enveloped in a warm blanket. She sighed and brought her legs up towards her chest, wrapping Poe’s sweater around her legs. She closed her eyes and let her head rest on her knees. She let the warmth of the sweater comfort her.

She had been kissed since Armitage, sure, but none of them had come close to the man she had fallen in love with those years ago. The pain of his betrayal had cut so deep that she had sworn to never allow another man close to her heart again.

But Poe Dameron came into her life a supernova that she had no way of shielding herself from. His kiss was an explosion that resulted in a shock wave that annihilated the walls surrounding her heart and she could feel herself fumbling to pick up the pieces.

She took a deep breath and she couldn’t stop her heart from sinking when she could barely smell him anymore on the sweater she was wearing. The scent of him was fading, and she was ashamed that she tried desperately to cling to the memory of his scent. She wanted to cling to anything that kept her mind from drifting back to her dream.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when her heard the clearing of a throat. She looked up and saw that Poe was leaning against the door frame, staring intently at her.

A tide of uncomfortable color spread over her. Seeing him standing in front of her, no longer a fantasy but a solid reality, she became immersed in guilt and heat and surprise. She didn’t want to imagine herself kissing him, and she couldn’t help how her body responded to seeing him in front of her. “_God how embarrassing_,” she thought to herself.

His eyebrow raised as he looked at her with mild concern. “You okay?”

She nodded. “I’m fine… just a little tired.”

He ran his hand through his hair. His hair was more tousled than when she last saw him, and she deduced that he probably did that when he was stressed. He crouched next to his droid and ran his hand along the top of its head. “Can you give us a moment buddy?”

The droid gave a soft whistle before exiting the room and zipping down the hallway. Poe stood and slowly closed the door. After a moment he turned and looked at her. He casually leaned his back against the door and put his hands in his pockets. “You know… I didn’t think I was going to see you again.”

Amara tried to feign laughter. “You can say that again,” she muttered.

He walked into the room and casually sat on the bed across from her. “I figured you’d take my sweater and would try _desperately_ to forget the man who stole your heart.”

At that Amara laughed for real. “You sure do think highly of yourself.” She shook her head in disbelief. “I will say flyboy… you’re definitely the kind of person no one can forget.”

He smiled and leaned back against the wall, putting his hands behind his head. “You know, I am not sure if that was meant to be a compliment, but I’m going to assume that it was.”

“Of course, you would.” She took her braid into her hands and began twirling her fingers through the loose ends. “So, what’s the verdict? Are you kicking me off?”

He eyed her for a bit and for a brief moment she thought that he might do it. But before she could respond he shook his head. “Today is your lucky day tuck cat. I’ve been told to bring you to our next stop.”

Her heart quickened. “Which is?”

“Yavin-4.”

Amara’s eyes widened. She was familiar with the jungle planet as it was one of the planets at the center of history. It played an important role in the galaxy. It was one of the sites during the Clone Wars, the base of the Alliance during the Battle of Yavin as well as other battles of the Galactic Civil War. It was on Yavin where an attack was launched on the Death Star and it became the home of a Jedi Academy after the war ended.

If she could choose a place to hide, Yavin would be towards the very bottom of her list.

“And then what?” She didn’t know what his plans for her were. She had told him that she was part of the First Order and there was nothing stopping him from turning her over to the Resistance. He had no idea what kind of knowledge she had, and she hoped that he never learned.

“Well that’s up to you when we get there,” he stated simply. “You’re not a prisoner. You asked for safe passage and that’s what you’ll get. It is up to you to decide where to go from there. If you’re looking for escape there are plenty of places to disappear in the jungles of Yavin. Why do you think the Rebels used it as a base all those years ago?”

She hadn’t thought of that and she could see his point.

“But,” he continued. “I’m hoping that you decide to join us.”

“I told you. I am not looking to take a side in this. “I—”

“I know, I know. You’re content to run. I get it.”

Amara clenched her jaw at his dismissive tone. “You think I’m a coward.”

He shrugged. “I didn’t call you that, but now that you mention it—”

She had enough.

She sat forward and pointed her finger at him. “Look flyboy, I will _never_ apologize for the choices I’ve made, nor will I try to explain myself to you.”

“I’m not asking you to—”

“I_ wasn’t _finished.”

His mouth twitched, and she was sure that he was fighting a smile. She could feel the smugness pouring off him and she had never wanted to hit someone as much as she did right that moment.

“You don’t know what I have been through. You don’t know what I’ve had to endure. I’ve given up _everything_ I have ever known. I’ve had to grit my teeth through pain and work _every_ day to work at a better life. Don’t sit there with that smug smile on your face and pretend like you know _anything_ about me or my decisions. Call me a coward, I really don’t care. But just know that bravery can be confused with stupidity, and sometimes it takes courage to run away.”

He observed her, his gaze never leaving hers as if he was milling over everything that she had said to him. After a moment of silence, he spoke. “Are you done?”

She shook her head in confusion. “Excuse me?”

“I asked if you were done.”

“I don’t have anything else to say on the subject if that’s what you’re asking—”

“Good because I have things to say and it would be best if you kept your mouth shut and listened.”

She could feel her blood beginning to boil as he nostrils flared. How _dare _he speak to her that way. Who the hell did he think he was? “_Excuse me_, but—”

“No!” He lurched forward and pointed his finger at her face, just like she did to him a moment prior and her mouth closed instantly. “I sat and listened to your little speech and now it is _your_ turn to listen to _mine_. You are running away from your problems instead of facing them. You think you can escape trouble but I hate to break it to you sweetheart but there isn’t a place in this galaxy where you can hide from trouble.”

She was fuming. She was unable to answer, afraid that she wouldn’t be able to respond without screaming. So instead of making a spectacle, she kept quiet. She hated losing control and ever since she met Poe Dameron she felt as if someone else was in control of her emotions. She needed to regain control otherwise she couldn’t be held accountable for her actions.

Sensing that she was reaching her breaking point, he held up his hands. “Look, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I get it. I don’t want you to think that I am calling you a coward because I am not.” His deep eyes connected with hers and she held her breath as she waited for him to continue. “You say you’ve given up everything you’ve known, but did it ever occur to you that you should be giving up all of that for the sake of something greater?”

She didn’t know how to answer that, and she tore her gaze from his and focused on the ground. She clenched her jaw, afraid of what she would say if she allowed her mouth even to slightly open.

When she didn’t look back up at him, he sighed and stood. “We have about 8 hours left of travel before we land on Yavin. I suggest you get some sleep.” Without saying another word, he walked towards the door and opened it. Before he took another step, he spoke softly. “Amara…”

She looked towards him then. He didn’t call her any pet name, but instead used her real name. He looked over his shoulder at her and his deep eyes met hers, and once again she felt grounded.

“I just want you to just think about it. That’s all I ask.” And with that he left, shutting the door softly behind him.

* * *

“What news do you have for me lieutenant?”

The young man cleared his throat before speaking. “Sir… The dockmaster reports that a group of traders reported their ship missing to the authorities this morning. The ship is a 720 light freighter. The pilot says that they ship hadn’t been refueled so there are only a few places that the ship could have gone.”

“And what of the woman?”

The man hesitated before responding. “She—She managed to escape from the Red Veil. A sweep of her home showed that she hadn’t returned after she was approached by Agent Terex. The ticket master at the docks said that a woman matching her description asked for tickets on a transport ship but was denied because there were no more ships scheduled to leave until morning. She was advised to seek passage on another ship. The ticket master claims that she didn’t see where she went after that.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.”

“General Hux.” The man nodded before leaving.

Armitage stood in the command center of his ship. His eyes trained on the motionless stars around him. His fingers slowly twirling the small metal object in his hand. It was a small band that he constantly wore on his pinky finger. A band that reminded him of the promise me made those years ago. He closed his eyes as he slowly put the band back on his finger before placing his hands behind his back.

“I’ll find you. And this time, I won’t let you go.”


	11. Yavin 4

Chapter 11

_Yavin 4_

After an extremely restless few hours Amara found herself awoken by a loud rap on her door. Before she sat all the way up the metal door opened and in walked a tall slender woman with tanned skin and short blonde hair. “Oh, good you’re up,” the unknown woman remarked.

Before Amara could respond, another woman rushed in behind her. “Jesus Kare, you can’t just barge into someone’s room,” the new woman choked out. The new woman looked at Amara apologetically before hitting the blonde woman on the arm. “What if she was naked?”

Kare rolled her eyes. “Does she look naked to you, Jess?” she replied with a tone of mild annoyance.

“That’s beside the point!”

While the women argued Amara sat up from her cot groggily. She rubbed her eyes and squinted around the room. How long had she been asleep? “What time is it?” she croaked, her voice still groggy from sleep. “Have we landed on Yavin already?” There were no windows in her room, so she was unable to see if they were still sailing through the galaxy or if they had landed.

Kare shook her head and snorted. “Do you honestly think we would take the ship all the way to Yavin?” she asked with a hint of disgust in her tone.

“I don’t know anything about you nor what you would do,” Amara stated honestly as she swiveled her body to place her feet on the floor. “And in all honesty, I really don’t care what you’re doing as long as we get to where we are supposed to go.”

Kare’s mouth lifted slightly at one corner. Amara wasn’t sure if that was a sneer or the hint of a smile. The woman standing in front of her didn’t look like the person you would volunteer as a member of any welcoming committee. She stood straight, arms folded across her chest, as she looked down at Amara, her judging gaze assessing her from head to toe. Amara continued to stare right back at her with indifference.

This wasn’t anything new to her. This whole intimidation tactic was wasted on her. What this woman in front of her didn’t know was that Amara grew up with those stares. Too long had she spent standing at attention while every inch of her was assessed and judged by her superiors. She had endured being run to the ground in order to test her stamina and then had her head ground into the mud for not making some unknown goal set for her.

It had never mattered that she always outlasted her other peers. She had always gone harder, faster, and further than everyone before her but she was never good enough in their eyes. She was used to being verbally degraded for all of her shortcomings and suffering far worse punishments when she came up short. This woman in front of her was nothing compared to what she had grown up with.

Kare tilted her head slightly, as if she was coming to a decision about her. Whatever conclusion she came up with was unreadable in her expression but after a few moments the woman seemed to relax slightly. “We still have about a couple hours left,” Kare finally acknowledged.

Amara stretched, sighing as she felt her back crack. While the cot was not worse than her bed back on Hosinian Prime, she was still on edge from the events of the last few days. She could feel a knot beginning to form between her shoulder blades and she winced. She eyed the women in front of her and saw that they were still standing and staring at her. “So,” Amara began. “I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you in my room then if we haven’t arrived?”

“You got a lot of questions for a stowaway,” Kare said in a dry tone.

Amara rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. _Enough of this._ “Look… I already went through this interrogation with Poe, who I am assuming is your commander?”

Kare crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes. “And what makes you think he is our ‘commander’?”

“Well… besides his cocky as shit flyboy attitude?” Amara retorted.

Jess let out a loud snort before clasping her hand over her mouth, her eyes widening in surprise at the outburst. Kare maintained eye contact with Amara. Amara prepared herself for Kare’s retort but was surprised when Kare’s mouth officially curved into a small smile.

“He _is_ pretty cocky… I’ll give you that.”

There was a knock at the door. Amara looked up and saw a man standing at the door, his hands braced on the sides as his large frame took up the entire doorway. The man was looking at Kare. “We’re loading into the pods now.”

The man looked from Kare and then to Jess before landing on Amara. She could see the man’s jaw clench as he eyed her. There was no warmth in his gaze and Amara felt the hair on her skin begin to stand on end. She wondered if Poe told this man about what he had found out about her, how she was with the first order. She hoped that when he looked at her that he saw a woman that was desperate to be free.

But when his eyes seemed to widen slightly before narrowing, she felt her stomach drop as she wondered what else Poe might have said to him. The man leaned forward and went to open his mouth but was cut off by the sound of Poe’s voice on the intercom.

_“Time’s a ticking everyone. I understand if you have grown attached to this rust bucket but personally, I wouldn’t want to be here when the First Order catches up with this ship.”_

Jess shuddered. “I can’t wait to get off this ship and take a much-needed shower.” Amara watched as Jess turned and walked out of the room.

Kare nodded to Amara. “Well… I guess the inquisition is over.”

Amara stood. “Did I pass whatever test this was?”

Kare chuckled as she followed Jess out the door. “At least for now,” she said as she rounded the corner and out of view. The man at the door stayed in the doorway as he continued to stare at Amara, not even breaking his gaze when the two women left the room.

Amara bent over and picked up her bag and shrugged it over her head, adjusting the strap so that it crossed over her chest. She walked towards the door to leave when the man stepped in front of her, blocking the exit.

On instinct she stepped away from him, so that he was out of reach. She instantly heard Sloane’s voice in her head.

_Duck under the punch and prepare the counter attack.  
He is bigger than you so the best move would be to use his own force against him.  
Lean away from the attack, grab him by the arm as they are attacking and pull him towards you and use your leg to trip him to the ground._

The man at the door seemed to notice her eyeing him and he took a step backwards away from her, eyes narrowing as he held his hands up slowly. He turned his head to look down the hall before looking towards her once again. “Why are you really here?” he said with such a quiet directness that Amara felt her heart thump slightly.

Amara sighed and shook her head. “What is up with you guys? Does everyone need to question me? After you is that droid going to sling his twenty questions at me too?”

“Cut the shit!” the man snapped. He must have thought he had spoken too loudly as he nervously looked down the hallway once more. “Cut the shit,” he repeated to her, this time in a quiet but clipped tone.

“I am just looking for safe passage. Once the pod lands on Yavin you will never see me again.” This man obviously had issues with her, and she was unsure as to what kind of reaction he would have. She had only seen him briefly, so she hadn’t been given the chance to observe him and take note. She made the effort to sound reassuring.

The man looked unconvinced. “You know that Poe will not let that happen.”

Amara laughed. That was completely ridiculous. “He has no reason to keep me around. I am nothing to the resistance and I am nothing to the first order. I am no one.”

The man braced his hands on the door frame once more and leaned forward towards her slightly with his head tilted as if in question. “He doesn’t know… does he?”

Amara furrowed her brow. “He doesn’t know what?”

“Who you _really_ are.”

* * *

Poe watched Amara step onto the small escape pod and take a seat on the bench next to Jess. Jess smiled to her as she moved over slightly to provide more room. Snap followed in close behind her and took a seat across from her next to Kare. Snap was eyeing Amara as he sat down on the bench and Poe did not miss the tension on the man’s face.

Poe cleared his throat and Snap looked up to him. They locked eyes for a brief moment before Snap’s eyes quickly darted away.

_“What was that about?” _Poe thought to himself. He made a mental note to check in with Snap once they had a moment alone.

Poe was at the front of the escape pod when BB-8 wheeled into the room with a high-pitched whirl. Poe flipped a few buttons and closed the door to the pod. After pressing a few more buttons he felt the pod move as it disconnected from the ship.

The pod floated away from the ship. They watched as the light freighter continued its journey, while they made their way in the escape pod to their final destination. Once autopilot was engaged Poe released the controls and took a seat on the empty space on the bench next to Amara.

“By the time they catch up with the ship we will be long gone,” he said and flashed a smile. “And by the time they calculate all possible destinations that this escape pod could have traveled we will be long gone from Yavin.” Poe took a quick glance at Amara before clearing his throat. “Well… some of us at least.” He leaned back against the wall behind him and as he moved, he felt his arm press against hers.

He felt her body stiffen next to him. Before he could adjust himself, she moved slightly away from him so that they were no longer touching. It took every instinct of his to not chase after her so that he could feel her warmth against him again.

_God you’re pathetic Dameron. You haven’t even known this woman for more than 2 days and already she has your balls on a string._

“Are you nervous?”

Poe looked to Kare, semi thankful for the interruption to his thoughts. He knew why she was asking him this question, but he wasn’t quite sure how to answer. He wanted to tell her that he wasn’t nervous, that he looked forward to being back home. He could tell her that he was thankful to have a break and that he missed his home on Yavin. He was pretty confident that he could say it without it being a complete lie.

There were some things he definitely missed. He missed climbing the various ruins near his home and cliff diving into one of the many lakes. He missed the home cooked meals and the peace being home brought. He missed the feeling of his feet as they sunk into the soft earth. He missed the way his lungs felt as he took in a deep breath of the sultry jungle air. It was always a little too hot and a little too humid, but to him it was home. All those things were plenty enough of a reason for him to be excited to be back home.

Seeming to know what he was thinking, Kare cut off his incoming bullshit. “I was talking about Kes. What do you think he is going to say when he sees you?”

_Kes Dameron.  
_His father.

Poe hadn’t seen his father in a year and honestly, Poe did not understand what the big deal was. As an infant, he rarely saw his parents due to his parent’s service with the Alliance to Restore the Republic. If anyone would understand the lack of contact, it would be his father. He knew what service to the alliance meant and he knew what kind of commitment Poe had signed up for when he enlisted.

Poe ran a hand up the back of his neck and ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. He chuckled nervously. “I can think of a few things he might want to say to me…” he began slowly.

Poe wasn’t worried that his father was going to say something about his work with the Rebels. His father understood that there was still a war to fight.

_“People were hurting. People were suffering. Your father and I couldn't sit and do nothing.”_

Poe heard the voice of his mother and he felt himself wince.

Poe was close with his mother and when she died their entire world changed. His father became a recluse and had shut himself in his room for a week after she passed. Poe remembers his grandfather walking into the house, fixing him a meal and then making an extra plate.

Once Poe was settled at the kitchen table with his food, he watched his grandfather carry the second plate it into the room where his father was and shut the door behind him. After a few minutes Poe tip toed to the door of his father’s room and pressed his ear to the door. He didn’t hear any speaking, but instead he heard the soft cries of his father. He remembered silently walking back to the table and focusing on finishing his meal, allowing his father to grieve in peace.

His father spent too much time in mourning that in addition to his grandfather being nearby, his mother’s fellow Rebel pilot, L’ulo L’ampar, stepped in and helped raised him and frankly helped shape him into the man he was today.

As a result, Poe and his father were never what you would call close, but that was normal right? Kes Dameron loved his wife Shara Bey so much that when she died it was as if a piece of him died with him. Poe knew exactly what his father felt because he felt the same when his mother died. Poe felt grief… sorrow… numbness… shock. Their entire world changed. Both of them had died when Shara took her last breath.

Thinking of his mother always resulted in his chest tightening and he took a sharp intake of breath. But with the sudden breath he let out a sigh as his nose was flooded with the smell of fresh lavender with hints of vanilla and clove. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Amara had turned her head towards him. Her smell was sweet and delicious and absolutely intoxicating. For a fleeting moment he had forgotten the pain in his chest from thoughts of his mother but instead felt his chest begin to fill with warmth. He made a valiant effort to not turn towards her to get a better scent.

_Focus on Kare. Kare is the one talking to you. Kare is where you should be focusing. _

“Could those words possibly be, ‘Fuck’ and ‘you’?” Jess’ voice cut through to him and instinctively he turned towards her and cursed as he remembered that she was on the opposite side of Amara. He turned towards Jess, but his eyes locked with Amara’s. She met his eyes and they immediately widened before she turned to look down. She bit her lip slightly and he could see that her cheeks reddened slightly. Poe wanted to take that lip into his own mouth.

_Yep. Poe Dameron. You. Are. Pathetic._

“It is a possibility…” he began as he forced himself to look at Jess. He smiled.

“I guess a punch to the gut,” Snap interjected before adding, “followed by hug.”

“I think he’ll probably cry when he see’s him,” Kare said as she leaned towards Snap and smiled slightly.

“Should we bet on it?” Snap said as he looked to Kare.

“Are you guys serious—”

“BRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEET DEET WREE OOO.”

Snap chuckled. “You bet he’ll do all three?”

The BB unit rolled back and forth in place, his version of a nod.

“5 credits?” Jess said as she raised an eyebrow. She leaned forward and balled her hand into a fist and held her fist aloft in front of her.

“Deal.”  
“Deal.”  
“WEEO.”  
  
Snap, Kare, and BB-8 said in unison. Both Kare and Snap mirrored her movement and placed their fist against hers. BB-8’s mechanical tool shot out of his center console and touched theirs.

Poe rolled his eyes as he stretched out his legs and scooted himself so that he was leaning back against the wall. “Alright well while you guys settle everything, I will just try to get a bit of shuteye before we land.” He crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. “Goodnight, you jerks.”

* * *

Time on the pod ticked by slowly as they floated through the motionless stars of the galaxy. It didn’t take long before the rest of the crew followed suit and joined Poe in taking a quick nap. Looking around the pod she could see the slow rise and fall of their chests as both Kare and Jess dozed peacefully. Amara looked at Snap and saw that his breathing wasn’t as soft and rhythmical as the others, and she concluded that he most likely was not asleep, but instead resting his eyes.

After his confrontation on the ship she would not be surprised if he kept a close watch on her. She hadn’t responded to his question back in her room. He probably would have pressed the issue if that droid hadn’t zoomed into the room and whistled for them to hurry up.

_Saved by the BB unit._

She looked in the direction they were soaring, and she started to see a large moon in the distance. As they approached, she could begin see the plush green flora that covered the moon’s surface.

_Yavin_.

From what she had learned during her studies, she knew that Yavin was covered by dense jungles and rainforests. Because of the climate and the role Yavin played during the war, the moon was not somewhere people routinely traveled. She never would have landed on the moon if it wasn’t for her running into Poe Dameron.

She looked to Poe, who was sleeping silently next to her. When he originally sat on the bench next to her she was struck by how warm he felt. Instinctively she felt her body wanting to lean against him, but when she looked up and her eyes met with Snap’s she immediately retreated away from Poe.

She didn’t understand why but she had felt herself being undeniably drawn to him. In sleep his brow was relaxed, and his head was tilted towards her. With everyone asleep around her, she allowed herself to stare at him directly.

His face was definitely created for sin... the brooding mouth, the angular jaw, his closed eyes shaded by long straight lashes. His hair needed cutting, the heavy black locks curling slightly over the back of his collar. His mouth was slightly parted as he breathed deeply. Amara’s gaze paused when they reached his lips and she felt her throat cinch around a quick breath.

She had been reliving their kiss at the Red Veil, asking herself what had gotten into her. What in the world _possessed_ her to do that? And stars… why in the hell did she suddenly have the urge to lean forward and touch her lips against his _again_.

_Yep. Amara. You. Are. Pathetic._

Thankfully the sound of beeps filled the room, alerting them of their approach of Yavin. As his eyes fluttered open Amara quickly averted her gaze and closed her eyes, feigning sleep. She felt him stretch beside her before standing and walking towards the pilot console.

Jess stirred beside her and after a few moments Amara opened her eyes and yawned, hoping that no one had noticed that she was staring at him.

Poe pressed the comm-button and spoke. “This is Commander Poe Dameron requesting permission to land.”

After a few moments of silence Poe pressed the button again. “This is Commander Poe Dameron, General Leia Organa should have notified you of our arrival. Requesting permission to land.”

Silence continued to fill the pod and Amara looked towards Jess, who shrugged beside her and continued to look at Poe with her brow furrowed. “Do you think he isn’t there?” Jess offered.

Amara could see Poe’s jaw clench as he stared down at the speaker. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He pressed the button again, his finger going white from the pressure. “Damnit old man… if you don’t answer me, I swear…”

_“Permission granted.”_

The deep garbled voice boomed through the speaker and Poe rolled his eyes and muttered something inaudible under his breath. Poe pressed a few more buttons and then took control of the pod.

As they approached, the dense canopy of the forest came more into view and Amara leaned forward so that she could get a better view. Poe expertly guided the pod over the trees until they reached an opening in the canopy. Poe maneuvered the pod and slowly descended the vehicle down towards the ground. Amara could feel her mouth open slightly as the pod descended into the greenery and they were soon surrounded by lush trees.

When the pod landed on the ground Poe pressed a few more buttons and the doors opened. No longer was the pod silent. The sounds of the jungle flooded the pod, its voice was the sudden screech of a parrot and the whooping of a monkey.

Behind her, Jess, Kare and Snap stepped off the pod, with BB-8 whirling quickly behind them. Amara turned and walked up towards the exit ramp and looked around.

Her breath left her for she had never seen anything so beautiful. The trees were as tall as the large senate buildings she was familiar with. Between the canopy of large leaves, a green light shimmered though that felt almost ethereal to her.

She felt Poe step up from behind her and place a hand gently on her shoulder. She felt his breath against her neck as his voice whispered against her ear. “Welcome to Yavin, tusk cat.” He stepped in front of her and smiling before he turned and stepped off the pod and walked towards his friends.

After a few moments of taking in the sounds around her she tentatively took a step off the pod.

The jungle was an assault on her senses.

The first thing that Amara noticed upon stepping foot on Yavin was that the ground was soft beneath her feet. The sounds of the insects, the birds, and the larger animals harmonized together and was a symphony to her ears. The air smelled divine, like wet bark and old leaves.

She followed the group and saw that they were walking towards two people that were walking towards them in the distance. As she approached, she saw that it was a man and a woman approaching. The woman stood out to her immediately with her long and wavy red hair that seemed as wild as the jungle around them. The man walking next to her had dark brown hair that was greying at the temples. As she got closer, she could see the warm smile on the woman’s face, but the man’s brow was furrowed as his gaze was narrowed at Poe.

Poe walked up to the man while the rest of the group stayed behind to watch the exchange. Amara made her way to stand beside Jess. At this distance she could see the details in the man’s face. The angular jaw, the dark hair that curled at the ends, that piercing stare. There was no doubt who this man was.

Poe held out his arms in greeting towards the man. “Dad… long time…”

Poe was unable to finish his sentence because the older man sucker-punched Poe right in the stomach, causing Poe to double over in pain. Amara gasped and felt herself take a step towards them, but Jess held out her arm and stopped her. Amara looked at Jess and she just shook her head, silently letting her know that they needed to stay out of whatever was happening.

The red headed woman ran up to the man and grabbed him by the shoulder hard. “Kes! Stop it!”

Poe grunted as he stumbled backwards holding onto his stomach. “Guess…I…deserved…that,” he choked out between breaths.

“Fuck you,” the man said harshly as he pointed his finger at his son, ignoring the woman beside him.

Poe nodded as he continued to breath deeply. “I…deserve…that…too…” Poe said quietly. Poe raised his head and looked at his father. “I’m sorry for what I said,” his head turned and looked to the red headed woman. “To both of you.”

The red headed woman smiled sadly to Poe as she took a step back. After a moment she released Kes’ arm and crossed her arms over her chest.

The two men stood silently as they watched each other. Kes’ sharp and angry gaze trained on his son, Poe’s head slightly bowed as he continued to cradle his stomach. When it started to seem like they were going to stand there all day, Kes cursed. Then quickly, he reached out, and pulled Poe into a tight hug. Poe slowly wrapped an arm around his father and gripped the back of the man’s jacket, hugging him back fiercly.

The red headed woman watched them sadly as she wrapped her arms around herself, taking a step back to allow the two men to have a moment.

“BEE-DOO.”

Beside them, BB-8 chimed as a drawer opened from his center console. Jess, Snap, and Kare groaned and shook their heads as they each reached into their pockets and pulled out their five credits and placed them in the compartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo sorry for the delay! Definitely hit a bit of a writer's block, although I hate to call it writers block but instead I feel like I should probably call it what it was - depression.
> 
> I’m talking about depression that creeps over you when you’ve been working long hours on a project and you’ve been glued to the screen for weeks. Everything seems pointless. Your body feels like dead weight. I was soon drained of all motivation and lost all creativity. Ever since the birth of my son I've been struggling with ups and downs from Postpartum Depression.. With the holidays and my birthday I definitely got in a funk and just didn't want to do much of anything.
> 
> But thankfully I am back on an up again and hopefully I'll be back to updating regularly. Thank you to those who stuck around for an update <3 It really made me happy seeing all the Kudos and comments. Hope you enjoyed the update!


	12. Welcome Home

Chapter 12

_Welcome Home_

Amara walked into the bedroom and she inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of the air. Incense burned on the windowsill, the long stick filling the room with hazy swirls of wood and spice. She exhaled as she walked forward and dropped her bag at the foot of the bed.

She sat down next to her bag and she felt her body dip into the soft mattress. She closed her eyes and sighed. The window was slightly open, and she could hear the soft sounds of wildlife outside. The chirps were bright and melodious. Keeping her eyes closed she fanned her fingers across the coarse blanket that was covering the bed. The pills of fabric felt much different that the cool smooth fabric of her blanket at the academy. She could feel the cloudiness of her mind being gently cleared as she felt her body relax to the melodies.

There was a soft knock on the door. She opened her eyes and turned towards the door. Amara was met with the smiling face of the redheaded woman.

“I am just checking in with everyone to see that they’re all settled.”

“I am. Thank you Mrs.—”

“Leona.” The woman smiled, her eyes crinkling at the edges as she looked at Amara with warmth. If sunshine manifested in a person, it would be this woman. “You can call me Leona. And your name?”

Amara placed her hands in her lap. “Amara.”

“Such a beautiful name. I’m so sorry for Kes’ outburst out there. It has,” she cleared her throat. “Well, it has been some time since they last spoke.”

“No need to explain.” Amara shrugged. “I sure have thought more than once to sucker punch your son in the gut.”

Leona’s face whitened and Amara had wondered if she overstepped. Perhaps this woman was strictly against any show of violence.

“Oh no, Poe is _not_ my son.” She winced. “I mean, he _is_ my son,” she shook her head. “Actually, he is _Kes’_ son, not mine,” her eyes widened and she shook her head faster. “Not that I don’t love him like my own son. I wish he was my son,” she said quickly before she lowered her head and groaned. Her hands fell at her sides dejectedly. She closed her eyes and took a measured breath. After a few moments she looked up at Amara and her smile returned, although this time composed. “What I’m trying to say is that he is my step-son.”

Amara couldn’t help but smile at this woman and her awkwardness. But when Amara saw the sadness behind Leona’s eyes gave her heart pulsed, and for a moment she could see a glimpse of what her story told. “I apologize for the confusion.”

“Nonsense.” Leona shook her head and wiped her palms on her apron. “You probably wanted to get some rest before supper. I have a fresh pot of stew on the fire.”

Amara shook her head. “Thank you so much, but I’m not that hungry. I’ll probably just take a walk before turning in for the evening.”

Leona nodded once. “Completely understandable. Let me know if you need anything else.” She walked across the room and stopped at the large bureau that stood in the corner. “There are extra blankets in the bottom drawer here.” She opened the drawer and Amara could see a variety of different linens. “Kes always gives me a hard time saying that I would be cold even in Tatooine in the summer. That’s why I always make sure to keep plenty of blankets in each room.” She winked at Amara before she closed the drawer. She then touched the other drawers softly. “The rest of these drawers are empty if you want to unpack and put your things inside. There is also a washroom down the hall if you wanted to clean up and get changed.”

Amara glanced down at her one knapsack that sat on the bed beside her. She thought of the contents inside. Her wallet, a blaster, a few other small trinkets. She had no other spare clothes, other than the ones she had on. “I’m afraid I packed pretty light this trip,” she said casually.

Leona furrowed her brow as she eyed the small bag. “That’s all that you brought with you?”

“I umm… I didn’t have much time to pack up before I had to leave,” she said cautiously, unsure of what Leona was told about their prior exploits.

Leona tilted her head sideways as she eyed her. As if seeming to come up with a decision she nodded and stood straight. “Right. Well… I’ll leave you to it then.” She walked towards the door. “I’ll make sure to leave some food out for you in the kitchen if you get hungry later.”

“Th-thank you Leona.”

Leona held her hand on the door frame and smiled, her eyes crinkling at the sides once more. She was now smiling genuinely again, and Amara could feel that warmth once more radiating from this woman. “Your welcome Amara. Go get some fresh air. You still have a couple hours before the sun sets, and you don’t want to miss it. The sunsets on Yavin are unparalleled to anywhere else in the galaxy.”

* * *

Amara walked until she reached the edge of a green plateau. The hill dropped and before her she saw the tops of trees. The greenery went out as far as she could see. From where she stood, she had the perfect view of the sun dipping behind the trees. Leona was not lying. The sunset before her was breathtaking.

She watched as the sunset spread across the sky as it dipped towards the horizon. Rich hues of red blended with oranges, purples, and crimsons. She lowered herself so that she was sitting on the mossy ground. She sat and watched where the fiery sky touched the earth. Silhouettes of birds flew across the sky and as she closed her eyes, she could hear their songs. Before her she saw the waning lights of the sun reach out towards the jungles, as if trying to desperately hold onto the last moments of paradise before it disappeared.

“As much as I am away from home, I much prefer the jungles on Yavin.”

Amara inhaled at the sound of his voice. She knew that she wouldn’t be left alone. She wouldn’t be surprised if she learned that he had a tracker installed on her when she was passed out from that taser. She made a mental note to do a preliminary check of her body once she returns to her room.

She continued to look out at the horizon, not moving even as Poe took a seat on the soft ground beside her. He stretched his legs casually out in front of him as he leaned backwards, bracing himself with his arms extended.

“I always found it full of miracles… spiderwebs glittering with fresh raindrops, new trees growing from the trunks of fallen ones. And if you were quiet enough you could hear the sound of the leaves overhead, swaying with the wind. I’ll tell you tusk cat but it’s better than any band I ever heard,” he said proudly.

She didn’t respond to him, instead choosing to continue watching the sun as it began its dip below the horizon. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that their shadows were slowly shrinking. As she turned to look back at the sunset, she glanced at Poe as he sat beside her.

His eyes were steady ahead as they watched the sky, his face aglow with orange and crimson from the waning sun. His lips beared the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that he was enjoying his thoughts, whatever they may be. It took every ounce of strength she had to not move closer to him.

“I remember coming out here with my grandfather,” said Poe began, thoughtfully. “_‘See those colors nieto?’_” His voice deepened and held the trace of an accent. “_‘They are symbols. Each showing you the good tomorrow can be.’_”

His voice seemed distant, as if he was lost in a memory. While he had a slight smile, she could see the sadness behind his eyes. Gone was the cocky flyboy, but instead she could see his gentle vulnerability peeking through. She glanced down and saw how his hands sunk into the moss beneath them. It was as if the ground was reaching towards him and anchoring him to this world, his home. Sitting here in this spot that brought back memories for him, she could see that he was slowly dropping his guard.

Amara looked down at her own hands and how they rested on top of the moss. She was like a cut flower, no roots at all, nothing anchoring her to this world. She had no roots to protect her, to support her.

She wanted to believe Poe when he says that with the sunset comes a dawn that brought new opportunities. All the pain that she has suffered. All the hurt she has felt. Everything would be gone with the sunset. And with it, hope for what dawn could bring.

_Hope_.

There was that damn word again.

She wanted to point out that soon, all those symbols will be hidden within the black desolation of night, a symbol of the suffering that tomorrow could bring. But instead of saying all those things, she remained silent. She looked back to the horizon and saw that only a few bright streaks remained.

The sun had finally set.

After a while of sitting side by side, Amara cleared her throat. “Here” Amara said quietly as she reached into her bag. She pulled out a familiar gold watch. “I’m sorry I took this from you.”

Poe shook his head without taking his eyes away from where the sun was previously in the sky. “Don’t worry about it. I figured you had your reasons.”

“I can explain—”

He sat up and brushed his palms on his legs. “No need to explain anything.”

She bit her lip. “But I would like to,” she began quietly.

Poe sighed as he took the watch from her open palm and looked into her eyes. “This belonged to my father you know.”

Amara groaned. “Well now I feel even worse!”

Poe laughed. “Nah don’t worry about it. He got this watch from a pawnshop at an outpost in Thaphora. I was 7 and traveling with him while he was transporting supplies to the resistance.” Poe wrapped the watch around his wrist, turning it over to snap the clasp shut. “His watch stopped working while we were docked so while we were out, he got this as a replacement.” Poe chuckled. “He didn’t even really like this watch to begin with. Said it wasn’t his _style_.”

Amara wasn’t surprised to hear that his father was part of the resistance. “Your father kept working with the resistance even after the war?”

Poe shrugged. “For a time. He stopped shortly after my mom passed. Hope died with him the day she left.”

Amara’s ears burned at the mention of his mother. “I’m sorry about your mother.”

Poe stood and brushed off the back of his pants. He reached down and held out his hand to hers. “Don’t be.”

Amara took his hand and stood. He took his hand out of her grasp and put his hands into his pockets. He cleared his throat. “Come, let’s get back while there is still _some_ light left. Otherwise, even _I_ can get lost in these jungles.”

Poe walked past her and headed back towards the house. She quickened her step so that she was walking beside him.

“Was your father a pilot like you?”

Poe shook his head. “Soldier actually. My mother was the pilot. They both served in the Rebel Alliance. They had me during the war, which _obviously_ kept them pretty busy, so I spent my formative years with my grandfather.”

Amara looked to the ground as she walked beside him. “It must have been hard for your parents to be away from you.”

Poe shrugged. “They knew that they were fighting for something bigger. I loved hearing stories about their time in the war. My father was very open about his war stories, although my mother never liked speaking about it. She would just tell me that her own actions weren’t important, but that what mattered was that they and other Rebels stood up to the Empire and answered the call to help free the galaxy.”

Amara continued to walk in silence by his side.

“What about your parents?”

Amara shook her head slowly. “I, umm… I never met my father.” She gripped the straps of her bag tightly before adding quietly, “and I lost my mother to the war a long time ago.” She focused on her breathing, dropping into the habit of counting the time between breaths in order to seem calm. “The academy is all I have known. _War_ is all I have known.”

It was Poe’s turn to remain silent.

“I once asked my father if he was ever scared one night after he told me about the Battle of Endor.”

“What did he say?”

“He said he was worried… but never scared of what might happen. What scared him was the thought that everything… all of the suffering… the pain… the death… that everything was for nothing.”

“When did he tell you this?”

“Hell, I don’t know… I think I was what…maybe 9 or…10?” He reached his hand up and ran his hand through his hair. “My mom had been dead for a couple years and I was just starting to grasp the idea of war and what it really meant. I saw Stormtroopers as pristine suits of armor. I never fully connected that there were human beings within them. Once I lost my mother, I realized what death truly meant. War was not some romantic idea. People died, and those that died never came back. They never returned to those who loved them.”

They were almost to the house, the warm light in the windows giving the house a soft glow. The house was large and was arranged in a U- shapped. Wood paneling cladded the exterior façade of the home as it blended into its breathtaking surroundings. There was a second floor that had a balcony with wooden rails that wrapped around so that they had a view of the area below. This home was a peaceful oasis in the heart of the jungle. She thought of Poe as a young boy running out front with his father while his mother probably stood at the door watching.

At least, that’s what she imagined his family would be like.

“How did your mom die?”

“She was sick. All I remember was that one day she was lying in bed… when I come home her body is gone… my father telling me that she was gone.” He stopped walking and reached into his shirt. He pulled out a chain that was around his neck. “This was hers… my father gave it to me shortly after she passed.”

Amara walked toward him, reaching her hand out to touch the item around his neck. She looked down and saw the circular band that was hanging loosely on the chain. The band was simple and small. There was nothing remarkable about the ring, but the way that his hand hovered over hers protectively, as if she would damage it, she could tell that this ring meant the world to him.

She looked up into his eyes and her breath hitched.

It had been a long time since someone looked at Amara like this, direct and interested.

He slowly lowered his hand until his large calloused hand was wrapped around hers. She could feel the cool metal pressing into her palm. She did not know when or how it happened, but she felt her other hand reach up to touch his face tentatively. His stubble was longer and felt coarse against her palm. His eyes closed as he leaned into her touch as if he craved it.

She felt her body press against his. The strangest feeling came over her, something that reminded her of the early days of her relationship to Armitage. Until now, she’d never felt it for anyone but him, and never anything like this fire-and-ice jolt through her body. She was powerless to the pull of him.

“If you want to eat you better hurry inside before your friend eats it all!”

Amara jerked away from Poe, and her body burned as if she had been scalded. She looked and saw Leona standing at the door. Immediately she cringed.

“Oh, I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to interrupt anything—”

Amara ran towards the house, avoiding the woman’s gaze. “I’m awfully tired. I will see you in the morning.” With that she hurried past Leona and didn’t stop until she was inside her room with the door closed behind her. She groaned loudly as she held her head in her hands.

She needed to leave. In the morning she will leave, and she can put all of this out of her mind.

She walked towards the bureau and turned on the lap beside the bed. She turned to lay down but she paused when she saw a pile of clothes neatly folded atop the blanket.

* * *

Leona felt gutted as Amara rushed past her and into the house. She hadn’t meant to interrupt them. As always, she spoke before taking a step back to think. Poe continued to stand in front of the house. After a few moments he groaned and ran his hand over his face in irritation.

“I’m _so_ sorry Poe… I really didn’t mean to intrude.”

She watched as Poe tuck something into his shirt and stalk towards the house. “It’s fine Leona.” He gave her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “You never do,” he said quietly as he brushed past her and walked into the house.

She listened as he walked into the house. “Smells amazing in here. Snap you better not have eaten everything!”

_“Well you should have gotten here sooner!”_

Leona stood in the doorway, her eyes trained on the spot where he had stood. Her shoulders slumped. She tilted her head and looked towards the stars. “I wish you were here Shara,” she said quietly.

_“Leona… are you coming?”_ Kes’ deep voice called to her from inside.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Coming!” She counted to ten before placing a smile on her face and headed back inside the house, closing the door softly behind her.


	13. Distractions

**Chapter 13**

_Distractions _

“And where are you off to this early in the morning?”

Amara jumped as her hand touched the handle to the front door. She turned and saw Kare standing under the archway that lead into the kitchen. She was dressed in a tank top and a pair of loose lounge shorts. She was drinking out of a glass that had a dark green liquid inside. Her eyebrow raised in question as she eyed Amara.

“I didn’t scare you did I?”

Amara cursed. She thought that she was leaving early enough so that no one would notice her departure. Before sunrise was usually a good bet as no one in their right mind was up before dawn on purpose. She lowered her hand from the door and held onto the strap of her satchel protectively, turning to face Kare. “I was going to take off. I didn’t want to wake anyone. Do you always lurk in the shadows waiting to scare people?”

Kare smiled before taking a long sip of her drink. Even from this distance Amara could see that the liquid was thick and chunky. It reminded her of the numerous protein shakes she was fed at the academy. Those vile shakes were given to her every morning before her morning field training. She shuddered as she saw Kare’s throat work at swallowing the viscous liquid. It took a really strong woman to wolf that down without flinching. Kare pulled the glass from her lips and tilted her head towards Amara. “So what… you were planning on leaving without saying goodbye?”

“I thought it would be easier,” Amara said casually. Disappearing was better when there was no one awake to stop you.

Kare smirked. “Easier for who? Is there someone that is going to miss you if you leave?”

A picture of Poe looking down at her, his eyes searing into hers with heated interest, flashed into Amara’s mind. Her skin felt warm instantly and unfortunately it was too early to blame the sudden heat spike on the climate (at least not yet). She shook her head quickly. “I meant it’s easier for me. I’m just trying to avoid another round of twenty questions from your team.”

“Fair enough,” Kare said thoughtfully. “Do you at least know where you are going?”

Amara stopped, and for the first time she actually thought about her plan. What _ was _ her plan exactly? “I guess I figured that I would head to the nearest village and see about possibly getting work.”

Kare raised an eyebrow. “Do you know where the nearest village is?” she asked slowly.

“I’ll be able to find my way,” Amara said with certainty. _ I always do, _she thought to herself. She had no other option.

“You know,” Kare began, “that it would be better if you scouted first, right? Or better yet, just wait for the rest of the group to wake up and just ask for directions?”

Amara cursed again. She knew that Kare was right. While her survival skills were honed, she had no idea which direction to start. She could take her chances wandering around the jungles, hoping she was going in the right direction, but deep down she knew that her chances were better if she actually waited and got guidance. She was not beneath admitting she was acting irrationally.

_ “Don’t let your emotions get the best of you!” _

Sloane’s voice echoed in her head and Amara closed her eyes at the memory.

_ “Why are you being so weak? Don’t let him cloud your judgement!” _

“Maybe you’re right,” she said softly as she put her bag on the ground. She was being ridiculous. This was _ not _ who she was. Why was she letting this _ man _ get under her skin? Why was she letting another man influence her decisions?

“Let’s go,” said Kare.

Amara’s eyes met with Kare’s. Did she really mean to go with her? “Go where,” she asked curiously.

“I’m going for a run. Come with me.”

“And what makes you think I want to take a run with you?”

“What makes you think I was asking?” she said, her face serious. “I could use the company. Plus, you look like you need to take your mind off of whatever it is that was causing you to brood over there.”

“I was not _ brooding _.”

Kare clicked her tongue. “Oh please… you looked like a mopey _ vornskr _ at a zoo.” She lifted the glass to her mouth and chugged the green liquid until the glass was empty. Kare wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, stifling a gag. “Stars that shit is nasty. I don’t know how people can drink that shit.” She walked through the doorway into the kitchen. Amara heard the sound of the glass being set on the table before Kare returned through the doorway carrying a pair of shoes.

“Then... why do you drink it?” she asked as she set her satchel down on the floor against the wall.

Kare shrugged as she walked over to the wooden chair by the door. She sat down as she began to put the shoes onto her feet. “Honestly, I am not sure. Snap told me about this recipe. He said that it was good to have a protein shake before a workout. Although after having that garbage I think he just wants me to suffer.”

“Well he isn’t wrong,” Amara began. “Having a protein shake before a workout helps maintain muscle mass during training and reduce markers of muscle damage, therefore aiding in recovery.” She took off her jacket and folded it neatly, placing it on top of her satchel. “Or so I heard.”

“Do they _ have _ to taste like banta shit though?” Kare asked as she finished lacing up her shoes.

Amara smiled as she brought her ankle up, inverting the foot towards the knee and then to her waist. She could feel the stretch in her glute and lateral quad area. It had been a while since she ran, and with all the sitting she had been doing lately she could feel that her muscles were already tight. “There are some things that you can add to make them taste better.”

Kare stood. She moved the chair away from the wall so that she could hold onto the back of the chair. She began to swing her leg forward and backwards. “You didn’t taste that drink. Nothing could have made it better.” After about 15 to 20 seconds she switched to the other leg.

“You’d be surprised at how many of those types of drinks I’ve had to put away. I would always keep a large supply of sugar cubes in my pocket that I could grind up and slip into my drink when no one was looking.”

Kare raised an eyebrow in question. “Isn’t sugar bad for you though?”

Amara shook her head. She brought her arms above her head and began to slowly lean to the right, making sure to keep her abdominals tight. “If you’re drinking only a protein shake prior to your workout then you actually need all the calories you can get.” She moved so that she was leaning to the left, stretching her other side. “If you’re worried about it you can always use honey.”

“Huh…” Kare said thoughtfully. “I’ll have to think about it in more detail then.” Kare moved the chair back so that it was against the wall. “Alright… let’s get going before the sun comes up and it starts getting hot as Bantha balls.”

Kare opened the door and headed outside. Amara followed after her, closing the door to the house softly behind her so as to not disturb the rest of the house. Once they were standing side by side outside Kare nodded to Amara before she slowly began to run. 

Amara jogged so that she was right beside her, making sure to match her speed. They ran side by side in silence for a few minutes. Even Though it had been a while since Amara went for a run, her breathing still came easy to her. She could easily go faster, but she wanted to stay with Kare and go at her pace. She was the one who wanted to do this run in the first place. As they ran, Amara couldn’t help but hear that voice inside her speaking to her once more.

_ “You are faster than this. Show the others how much better you are. Show them who they should strive to be!” _

“How about Ice Cream?” Kare said casually, interrupting Amara’s thoughts.

Amara shook her head in confusion. “Ice cream?”

“Yeah, Ice Cream,” she said breathily. Amara could tell that she wasn’t used to talking while running. “I imagine that Ice Cream would make anything better, even something as nasty as that shake.”

Amara shrugged as she continued to keep a steady pace. “Haven’t tried it but I imagine it would give it more of a milkshake consistency.”

“It seems like we have a lot of brainstorming to do, you and I,” Kare said with the barest hint of a smile. “Besides sugar… what else have you tried?”

* * *

Poe walked into the kitchen, his limbs feeling heavy and his head groggy from sleep. It had been a long time since he had a full eight hours of sleep and his body didn’t know how to handle the change. His body ached and he didn’t feel as alert as he normally did in the mornings. BB usually was there to make sure that his day started without a hitch but when Poe awoke he saw that his little droid was nowhere to be seen. He always made it a point to be the first person to rise and get the team up and moving, so when he entered the room and saw Snap, the member of black squadron who consistently woke up last, leaning against the counter with a coffee mug in his hand he knew that he had overslept by quite a lot. Poe grunted as he walked towards him. Seeing him approach, Snap poured a cup and handed it to him.

“Here you go,” he said gruffly. “Kare was nice enough to brew a pot before she took off this morning for her run.” After handing off the cup, Snap walked towards the dining table and took a seat. Poe continued to stand by the coffee maker, as he cupped the mug tenderly in his palms and raised it to his nose.

Poe sniffed the earthy aroma and sighed. God how he missed the coffee beans that grew on Yavin. Coffee from Yavin was a pricey export and as a result only people in the upper 1% usually had access to the glorious beans. Now that he was back home he could indulge in as much coffee as his kidneys could take. “Stars I sure missed this.” He closed his eyes as he let the aroma overtake him.

Snap smirked as he walked towards the dining table and took a seat. “Enjoying yourself there black leader?”

“Shhh… I’m having a moment. Snap, you’re ruining my moment.”

Snap chuckled and stayed silent, allowing Poe to have his time. Instead he turned his gaze out the large window that faced the large open courtyard. He continued to sip his coffee, taking his own moment to savor the flavor as well as the beauty of the planet outside.

Poe thought of the first time he ordered a cup of coffee outside of Yavin. He took one sip and almost spat it out the moment it touched his lips. It wasn’t coffee but instead boiled water with dirt. It was a poor excuse for coffee and frankly it should have been put in a rocket and blasted to the sun in order for it to be destroyed along with the rest of the toxic garbage. That was nothing compared to the sweet nectar currently in his hand. Coffee on Yavin tasted like summer in a cup. It reminded him of mornings sitting in the courtyard enjoying a cup with his mentor and close family friend L’ulo L’ampar. It reminded him of warm summer evenings sitting with his father in the courtyard after dinner, enjoying a cup while leisurely smoking a cigar. No other drink brought this type of emotion out of him. “Man… coffee doesn’t taste as good as this,” Poe said wistfully.

“Well you should show yourself around here more often,” a deep voice spoke from behind him.

Poe didn’t have to turn around. He knew that voice anywhere. “Well… you know how life in the resistance works pops. You know just as well as most that the vacation package benefits are shit.”

Kes Dameron huffed before walking into the kitchen. Poe went to grab a coffee mug off out of the cupboard but Kes held up his hand and instead walked towards the fridge. “No coffee for me. Leona has me drinking these teas instead.” Kes opened the fridge and pulled out a tin canister. He closed the door behind him and walked towards the table to sit beside Snap.

“Tea?” Poe shook his head. “Since when have you been drinking tea?”

“For about a couple months now. Doctor says I should cut back on my caffeine intake.” Kes unscrewed the cap and took a long swig of the drink. 

Poe’s ears pricked at the mention of the doctor. “Doctor? Are you alright?” Poe looked at his father with concern, his eyes scanning him intently. Was he thinner? His father was wearing multiple layers so he couldn’t tell if he had lost any weight. Was his skin always that color? Why did he go to the doctor in the first place? What symptoms was he having? Why didn’t he know any of this? Why didn’t anyone reach out to him?

Oh, that’s right… he was too busy being a complete and utter asshole.

“Just some high blood pressure and other stuff.” Kes shrugged as he picked up a piece of fruit that was sitting in a bowl on the table. The fruit was dark brown in color and covered with prickly spines. He began to peel the rind slowly, being careful to not get pricked.

“_ Other stuff _? What kind of things? What did the doctor say? Besides tea what else is he having you do? Did the doctor have you scanned by a med droid? BB has some basic med programming that I loaded into him a few months ago. I can have him scan you--” 

“By the stars Poe calm down! I’m fine! Just gettin’ old. No need to get your shorts stuck in a turbine. I’m not _ dying _ if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Poe rolled his eyes. “Well of _ course _ I’m worried Dad! Can you blame me?” Poe could feel his anger starting to rise. This was not going well. He needed to breathe. He needed to remain grounded. He needed to relax. “Look Dad, I care about you alright. You should tell me these things.”

Kes scoffed and peeled the last of the rind, revealing the bring yellow pulp of the fruit. He pushed it aside as he took a bite of the fruit. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Care. Hmph… funny way of showing’ that you care,” he mumbled.

“Annnnnd _ that’s _ my cue I think,” Snap said as he stood.

Poe ignored Snap, shaking his head as he stared at his father in disbelief. “Of _ course _ I care. How can you even say that I don’t?”

Kes finished the fruit in two more bites before he turned to face his son, his eyes narrowing in anger. “How can I say that? Let’s make a list, Poe, of why I _ know _you don’t care about your family,” he snapped as he pointed his finger accusingly at his son.

“Yep…. definitely time for me to leave!” Snap grabbed his empty mug from the table and quickly walked to the sink. He expertly moved around Poe, who was still rooted in place as he stared down his father, and carefully but quickly placed the mug in the sink with the other dirty dishes. Neither Poe nor Kes acknowledged Snap’s departure.

As Snap rounded the corner he almost ran directly into Jess and BB-8.

“Woah! Snap where are you--” Jess said startled.

“No time. Need to leave,” he said quickly as he grabbed her arm and began leading her away from the kitchen. BB-8 quickly reversed and swiveled his head so that he was now following them away from the room.

“But I wanted to grab a quick bite in the kitchen,” she said, confused as she pointed towards the kitchen.

“This is a jungle Jess… we can find you something outside.” He looked sideways at her. “Trust me… you don’t _ not _ want to be in there right now.”

* * *

It did not take long for the temperature and humidity to spike once the sun finally rose over the trees. Amara and Kare tried to make sure that they stayed protected under the shade of the jungle canopy, but even the shade could not protect them from the humidity. While Amara focused on her breathing, blocking out the burning in her lungs, Kare joined the Jungle animals in their orchestral song.

“FUCK…. FUCK THIS…. FUCK ME…. GOD DAMMIT… I… WANT… TO… DIE.”

The warm humidity of the jungle Amara made her feel sticky and suffocated. Her clothes and hair, slick with perspiration clung to her skin. She could feel her heart pounding inside her chest as her lungs constricted for air.

“It’s...it’s not so bad,” Amara said with difficulty. She was out of shape and at that moment she wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince Kare or herself.

Kare spit on the ground as she slowed. “Stars this is horrible. I can’t go any further… This was a mistake.”

Amara jogged closer to Kare and placed her arm on the woman’s back. “Look… let’s just get to the end of that cropping of trees.” She nodded ahead. “Once we get there we can take a break.”

Even though her agony was apparent, Kare eventually nodded and her pace quickened. Together they ran and once they tagged the tree at the end of the outcropping both Kare and Amara collapsed onto the ground.

Amara extended her arms out towards her sides and blew out a long and slow breath. She was aching all over. Her feet were sore, her legs felt like rubber, and her heart was beating a mile a minute. Her body was crying, its tears were her sweat. Her eyes drifted upwards towards the jungle canopy. She watched the lights as they danced through the leaves, taking note every time a brightly colored bird flew past. The humidity dampened the ground so when she laid down upon the mossy surface she could feel the cool earth enveloping her in a cool hug.

“Listen…” Kare’s voice whispered hoarsely beside her. Amara turned her head and saw that Kare was lying there with her eyes closed. “Can you hear that?” Kare whispered again.

Amara quieted as she listened to the sounds around her. She could hear the birds cawing in the distance. She could hear the wind swaying the large palm fronds. After a few moments of sorting through the various sounds when she finally heard it. “Is that water?”

Kare sat up slowly, wincing as she did so. “It sounds like it. It doesn’t sound very far and sounds like it’s coming from over there?” She pointed ahead of them in the distance. She turned her head to Amara and raised an eyebrow. “Want to punish ourselves more and go check it out?”

“If you want we can race?” Amara said, hoping to sound enticing. 

Kare laughed. “And what do I get when I win?”

Amara joined her in her laughter. “_ IF _ you win, I’ll have to do something for you.” Amara thought before adding, “within reason.”

Kare shook her head. “Yeah but you said it yourself, you’re leaving.”

Amara shrugged. “True… so it’ll have to be something quick then. But… it won't matter because I’m going to win.” She pushed herself up off the ground and stood. “I’m going to enjoy having you do my laundry after this run,” she taunted.

Kare pushed herself up off of the ground as well and placed her hands on her hip. “You expect me to clean your sweaty underwear?” Kare said disgusted.

Amara shrugged. “Only if you lose.”

Kare bit her bottom lip as she raised her eyebrow at Amara. She seemed to be weighing the odds before her. Amara held out her hand to Kare. “We got a deal?”

Kare took her hand and shook it. “Deal. On the count of one.”

“Two,” Amara said.

Kare bolted down the path like a champion at the sound of the starting gun. “THREE!” she screamed behind her.

“HEY YOU CHEATER!” Amara screamed as she ran after her.

Kare’s laughter filled the jungle as she continued to run at breakneck speed. Amara quicked her pace and could feel herself gaining on her. The sound of water was getting louder and Amara knew that she wasn’t going to catch her. 

Amara’s legs moved swiftly beneath her. Sweat rolled down her skin in thick, salty beads. She could feel her heart throbbing inside her chest. Her skin felt like it was roasting. And she had the biggest smile she ever had. Running had never been this fun for her. This was not life or death. This wasn’t win or be punished. This was a fun game between two people who were enjoying each other’s company. This was what being with a friend felt like.

Eventually the women reached the end of the path, Kare barely reaching the end first. Kare whooped loudly before jumping up and down. “Ha!”

Amara wheezed, unable to hide her smile. “You cheated!”

“Winning is winning baby,” Kare smirked.

Amara was going to retort but was rendered speechless once she looked ahead. In the distance, amid the green of the jungle was a waterfall. From a distance the waterfall had been like a silent white stream cascading over the rocky outcrops. Drawn to its sheer beauty the two women slowly migrated towards the water. 

As they had drawn closer the noise had increased steadily until they were only a few hundred metres away. Closer still they drew until they were in the plume of water vapour that hung over the plunge pool.

It was breathtaking. Amara had never seen anything like it her entire life. This was a force of nature, both beautiful and brutal. Tranquil from a distance but deafening up close. It was as if the cascades of water conjured cascades of equally powerful emotions in her brain and it literally took her breath away.

She looked to Kare who was standing beside her. They could no longer even shout to one another over the deafening roar of the water. They looked at each other, their eyes communicating what their voices could not. They smiled as they reached for each other’s hand. Together they ran and jumped into the shimmering water. They gasped as the cool water permeated their skin but the coldness was welcome.


	14. Laughter

Chapter 14

_Laughter _

  
Amara and Kare eventually made it back to the house around lunchtime. When they walked through the door they were welcomed with the smell of freshly baked bread mixed with various warm spices. When they rounded the corner into the kitchen they saw that the dining table was filled with a beautiful spread of breads, meats, fruits and nuts. Leona was at the sink, her brow furrowed in concentration as she washed the dishes.

“Man I’m so starving,” Kare spoke as she walked towards the table. 

Leona gasped as she dropped the dish she was lathering into the soapy water. She turned and faced the women. “Stars you two startled me!” She laughed nervously as she wiped her hands on her apron. “Snap told me that you went for a run this morning. I figured you would be famished when you came back so I made sure to have some food ready for you upon your return.”

“Thank you Leona, this looks amazing,” Kare smiled as she picked up a piece of fresh fruit. She popped the expertly cut piece into her mouth and groaned. “Stars this is good.”

Amara approached the table and examined the spread before her. All of the fruit was carefully peeled, expertly cut and arranged beautifully in a ceramic bowl. There were various bowls of mixed nuts arranged on the table along with carefully rolled pieces of cured meats. In addition there were so many different kinds of breads and pastries. After examining the food before her she decided to pick up a pastry.

Amara took a bite and moaned softly as the warm, flaky pastry melted in her mouth. She opened her mouth to respond but all that came out was another moan.

Kare’s mouth opened as she looked at Amara. “I’ll have what she’s having,” she says as she grabs her own piece. She took a bite and she, too, moaned deeply as the warm buttery bread melted in her mouth. “I haven’t had this in a long time. It tastes just how I remember.” 

Leona smiled as she watched the two women enjoying the food she prepared for them. “It has been a while since I’ve been able to cook for anyone other than Kes. I _ might _ have gone a bit overboard.”

Amara smiled at the woman’s shyness. shoves the whole thing in her mouth before grabbing two more pieces.

“Hey… why don’t you make those noises when you’re with me?”

All three women turned and saw Snap standing at the entrance to the room, his large frame taking up the entire frame. His smile was wide as he looked at Kare affectionately. “How was your run?”

“Kicked my ass. But we found a beautiful waterfall while we were out. Maybe if you’re good we can go together later.” She wriggled her eyebrows up and down before breaking a part of a piece of bread and plopping it into her mouth.

Snap raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the doorframe. “How about we go now?”

Kare laughed as she shook her head. “No way… my feet are killing me. Especially how far we went. You’re out of luck right now Snap. We’ll have to take a raincheck.” She walked towards him and kissed him on the cheek. She leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his ear. She whispered something inaudible that Amara couldn’t hear. She pulled away from Snap and smirked. Snap was no longer smiling but his ears turned bright crimson. His eyes darted to hers before clearing his throat. He adjusted his pants slightly and Kare turned to Amara and smiled. “I’ll see you later Amara. Thanks for coming with me.”

She waltzed out of the room, whistling softly. Snap’s gaze was focused on Kare as she left. Amara noted the loving smile he had on his face as he watched her leave. It was small but anyone could see the love that was there in his eyes. As Kare’s whistling faded to silence, his gaze moved from back to the kitchen towards her, and his smile left, immediately replaced with a look of disdain.

Amara shifted her gaze from him and she shifted uncomfortably. His words from the ship echoed in her head. _ “He doesn’t know… does he?... Who you really are.” _ He had made that connection with her past, how… she didn’t know. But all that matters was that he knew what she was hiding. The question was whether he had divulged this information to Poe. She hadn’t seen him since yesterday and he had made no indication that Snap had spoken with him. If he had he knew that there would be no question that he would be turning her over to the resistance. 

Snap walked towards the table with good and picked up a handful of nuts, his eyes never leaving hers. “Leona… have you seen Poe around?”

Leona shook her head as she finished drying the last dish. “I haven’t seen him since he spoke with Kes this morning.” She began wiping the counters, her forearm slightly tense as she did so. “He went to go chop some wood for me a couple hours ago. I believe he is still out there.”

Snap leaned against the table, his eyes still trained on Amara. She looked up at him. He was using his size to intimidate her. If she were anyone else that might have worked. She was going to say something to him, but was interrupted by Leona walking towards her with a canteen.

“Can you be a dear and take this out to Poe? It gets really hot in the afternoons and I fear that he didn’t think to take any water with him when he left.”

Amara took the canteen as she narrowed her eyes at Snap. “Sure… I can do that. Where is he?”

* * *

_ “How can I say that? Let’s make a list, Poe, of why I know _ **you ** _ don’t care about your family.” _

Chop.

_ “You’ve done nothing but act out.” _

Chop.

_ “Pretended that you weren’t hopped up on spice and dealing that shit out with those no good friends of yours.” _

Chop.

_ “Joined the military and left without saying a word.” _

Chop.

_ “Joined the resistance without saying a word.” _

Chop. Chop.

_ “Had the nerve to say those things about Leona when she has _ only _ ever been there for us.” _

Poe growled before winding his arm backwards and heaved the axe down onto the log, splitting it with one stroke. The axe connected with the chopping block and stuck into the wood. Poe sighed loudly as he put his hands on his hips and stepped away from the block.

“You know, they say that every time you sigh, a small amount of happiness escapes.”

He turned around sharply and saw her. He wasn’t expecting anyone to come bother him while he was chopping wood so he couldn’t hide his grimace at the intrusion. She approached him slowly, a water canteen in her hands. She gave him a concerned glance.

“Want to talk about it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said as he roughly pulled the axe from the chopping block. He set up a new log and brought his axe down. He didn’t want to talk about his conversation with his father earlier which led to his father yelling at him and Poe sitting there in silence with no words to defend himself. When Leona came in and interrupted their exchange, Poe left. 

That was why he was now out here splitting logs that they didn’t need.

Out of the corner of his eye Poe saw her walk into his periferal. She set the water canteen down on the pile of wood in front of him before moving to sit with her back against the large wooden building next to where he was chopping. The large wooden building was built by hand by his father and his grandfather shortly after they settled down on Yavin for good. It was used to store various large equipment as well as whatever aircraft his mother was restoring.

She didn’t say anything to him, instead she watched him. He could see the silent question lingering in the air between them but he was grateful that she didn’t push him for more than he was willing to share. She didn’t say anything as he continued with his routine. Lay down log. Chop. Toss logs into the wood pile. 

Lay. Chop. Toss. Lay. Chop. Toss. 

She watched him, her lips pursed as she seemed to contemplate saying something. He wasn’t in the mood for a lecture or to be reasoned with. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to punish himself by staying out here and working his muscles until they screamed at him. He set up the next log and held his axe up in the air to strike.

“How do you get down from a bantha?” she said quickly.

He paused mid strike and looked at her incredulously. “Excuse me?”

“_ How _do you get down from a bantha?” She said slower, her lips still pursed as she waited for his answer.

Completely caught off guard by her question he shook his head. “I don’t know. How?”

“You don’t. You get down from a goose.”

Her lips remained still as she looked at him. He looked at her dumbfounded. Eventually he put the axe down on the ground. “That was the _ worst _joke I have heard.”

She scoffed. “Oh come on… worst? It couldn’t possibly have been the _ worst. _ I thought it was pretty clever.”

He couldn’t help the smile that lifted the corner of his mouth as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Trust me… I have been around the block. And _ that _ my dear was the worst.”

“Okay then smartass. Tell me a better one,” her eyes looked to him in challenge.

He grinned as he eyed her. “Okay, okay… let me think.” He walked towards the canteen she set down and opened it. He took a long swig of the liquid and sighed. He hadn’t realized how dehydrated he had gotten until he realized that he almost finished the entire canteen in one gulp. He looked to her and saw that her lips were no longer pursed but instead lifted at the corners in a soft smile. His eyes focused on her face. Her features were soft and inviting. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and made her umber skin glow. She looked different than she had when he first saw her and he couldn’t help but smile at how she looked now. She raised an eyebrow at him and he suddenly remembered that she was waiting for him to speak. He cleared his throat. “Okay. Here’s one. This is a good one. Why are Death Star pilots fed up with space battles?”

Amara bit her lip as she narrowed her eyes. After a moment she shook her head. “I don’t know. Why?”

“Because they always end up in a TIE.”

Amara stared at him. Just stared. He continued to smile at her as he waited for her to answer. After a while she rolled her eyes, put her head in her hands and groaned. 

Poe held out his hands and scoffed. “Excuse me? That was comedy _ gold. _”

She shook her head as she spoke into her hands. “Oh my god… and you said _ my _ joke was horrible.”

“Okay-okay I admit. Not my best work. How about this one? A clone trooper walks into a pub and asks the barman, _ ‘Hey, have you seen my brother?’ _ ” _ ‘I dunno,’ _ says the barman, ‘ _ What does he look like? _’” He wriggled his eyebrows at her. “Laugh. You know you want to.”

Amara shook her head, pushed off the wooden building and began to walk away. “I don’t have to sit here and be subjected to these horrible jokes.”

Poe smiled wide as he ran after her, following close behind. “Oh you think that one is bad. Well how about this one? “An Ewok strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, ‘_ I’ll have a whisky and ……soda _ .’ The bartender says, ‘ _ Sure thing—but why the little pause?’ _ ” He waited for her to look at him over her shoulder before continuing. “ _ ’Dunno, _ ’ says the Ewok. ‘ _ I’ve had them all my life. _’”

She groaned loudly and picked up her pace as she walked into the building. “Oh my stars, please _ stop. _”

Poe could hear the hint of laughter in her voice and he smiled. That was all the motivation he needed to keep going. Poe ran until he was walking backwards in front of her through the large opening on the other side. This building had no door so as to make it easier to transport equipment in and out quickly. “Hey…. Amara. Is BB hungry?” She looked up at him. He bit his lower lip, holding back a smile, “No… BB-8.”

Amara snorted before clasping her hands over her mouth. Poe’s smile widened as he pointed at her. “Ha! I got you to laugh.”

Amara shook her head, no longer able to hide her smile. “I don’t know what you are talking about. I had something caught in my throat. That was definitely _ not _ a laugh.”

Poe raised an eyebrow. “Oh it _ was _ a laugh.”

Amara shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “You were greatly mistaken flyboy.”

“Oh really... “ He couldn’t keep from smiling even if he wanted to. He leaned down towards her and got his face dangerously close to her. Her eyes widened as he got closer but she remained still. He moved so that his lips were pressed against her ear. “How does Kylo Ren like his toast?” He whispered softly.

Her shoulders lifted and he heard Amara inhale slowly. She shook her head. “I-I-I don’t know. H-how?”

He smiled and leaned in closer, his lips brushing her ear just slightly. “On the _ dark _ side.”

She pressed her head into his shoulder and he felt her shoulders shake. He could feel her holding breath as her body shook uncontrollably. Eventually it was too much for her to bear and she wheezed before erupting in laughter. He wrapped his arm around her and smiled. “There is nothing I like more than hearing the sweet victory of making you laugh.”

“You are such an idiot.” She said through her laughter.

“Ah but I’m a _ funny _ idiot.”

She continued to laugh against his shoulder and Poe continued to hold her. She felt good in his arms and his laugh warmed him. He wasn’t thinking anymore about what had brought him out here. He wasn’t thinking about what was bothering him. Instead he was only thinking about his happiness… and her. Wanting to see her smile was quickly becoming one of his new favorite things to do. Right beneath holding her. Nothing could make him let her go at this moment.

“What’s that?” She looked to something behind him and he turned. His heart slowed.

He immediately let her go.

_ Can it be? _

He pulled away from her and slowly approached the large item in the middle of the room. His fingers flexed as he lifted his hand to touch the tarp that was covering it. _ It couldn’t be. _ His hand gripped the fabric and pulled the tarp away, revealing what was underneath. 

Amara walked to stand next to him. “Is that an X-Wing?”

Poe shook his head and placed his palm on the nose of the aircraft. “A-wing.” He couldn’t believe that his father still had it. He thought his father would have sold it years ago. The ship had aged since he last remembered seeing it. The body was rusting slightly from the humidity. He brushed the cobwebs off the body as he walked around inspecting it, his palm never not in contact with the outer shell.

“Is that your father’s?”

“Mother’s.” He let out a single amazed laugh as he climbed the ladder to get inside. “God I can’t believe this is still here,” he said with awe in his voice.

Amara shook her head as she watched Poe climb into the cockpit of the rusted A-wing. “I can’t believe you are going to get in that death trap.”

Poe chuckled as he ran his fingers along the dashboard. His fingers vibrated in anticipation as he brushed over the controls. He removed various control locks as well as tested the yoke, making sure that it still moved freely and smoothly. As he reached for the flight controls, for a fleeting moment Poe thought he could hear the faint sounds of his mother’s laugh. He shook his head, brushing off the feeling as he leaned down to adjust the throttle. Everything looked just as he had left it. Not a single bolt out of place. He had no doubt that she would start if he told it to. He visually checked the fuel levels and saw that she still had enough juice for a ride. He leaned out of the cockpit and smiled down at Amara.

“Get in.”


	15. Chasing Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOSH I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY. QUARANTINE HAS KICKED MY BUTT. I have just had a hard time feeling motivated to do anything. Thank you so much for sticking with me!

CHAPTER 15

_Chasing Stars_

“Get in.”

Amara snorted. “Okay Poe, you can honestly stop with the jokes now…”

Poe smiled and repeated himself, this time louder. “Get in.”

Amara stared at him, bewildered. “Are you being serious right now? There is no way that I am getting in that pile of junk. Besides… how do you know she even still…”

Amara jumped as the ground beneath her rumbled as Poe started the A-wing. She narrowed her eyes and she saw Poe looking down at her. She had the urge to smack the smugness right off of his face. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Congratulations. It starts. I’m still not…”

“Get. In.” He said sternly before leaning back in the cockpit, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m not asking again.” He replied in a clipped tone.

Amara did not like being told what to do. Her first reaction was to take a step back in defiance. _Who the hell did he think he was? I’m not going to ‘Jump’ just because he said so. _As she was about to deny him one final time he spoke once more, this time gently.

“Please…” He looked down at her, his almond eyes looking down at her in quiet appeal.

At that moment, the way the sun hit his face, Amara remarked at how his eyes reminded her of whiskey. Not the rotgut that she poured at the cantina. This wasn’t something that you poured down your gullet quickly to avoid it’s harsh ethanolic flavor. Your only goal when drinking it was to forget the shit of the day and replace it with numbness.

No, this was not that.

This color was like the kind of drink that was dark, oaky… and warm. The kind that made you feel unbelievably hot, as if it was warmed before it was given to you. This was whiskey that you sipped gently, allowing it to settle in your mouth so that you can savor each and every last drop. You become emblazoned as it wraps you up in its warm embrace, providing comfort as you surrender to its intoxicating spell. It was hard to resist, and the look he gave her at the moment made her breath hitch.

“Please…” he repeated once more, this time holding out his hand. “Get in.” Before she thought that he might have turned into a different person she saw him wink, and she once again saw the Poe Dameron she was accustomed to. “I promise you won’t forget it,” he added with a wink.

Amara closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she reached up and grabbed his hand and allowed him to help her into the cockpit. She was thankful that because of her poor diet, or lack thereof, she was small enough that she was able to rest on his lap. Her heart began to thump as she immediately felt the sides of the cockpit close in around her, making the cramped quarters even more intimate. She felt a chuckle deep within Poe’s chest as he reached around her and flipped a switch, closing the canopy of the cockpit.

“See, now was that so difficult?” he chided.

Amara rolled her eyes. “If you’re going to continue to act like this then I’ll just get back out.”

Before she could move she was thrown back against Poe’s chest as she felt the A-wing speed forward out of the hangar and soar through the jungle canopy into the sky. She felt the A-wing begin to spin into a barrel roll as it made its way out of the atmosphere and into the darkness of space.

“What the hell!” she yelled as she tried to jab him with her elbows, except the cramped cabin made it damn near impossible for her to move.

“What were you saying about getting out?” He laughed as he deflected her elbow to his gut. “I’m sorry! I just couldn’t help myself. I promise I’ll behave from now on.”

Amara eyed him suspiciously and she let out an annoyed grunt.

“What? I promise! Just relax and enjoy the view.” After a few minutes they broke through the layer protecting Yavin 4 and they were among the stars. He flew the jet slowly, going in the opposite direction of the planet’s orbit. The only sound around them was the hum of the A-wing.

Looking out through the glass of the cockpit Amara felt her breath leave her. The blackness of space looked like a dark blanket that wrapped itself around the universe. The soft yellows and whites of the stars were sprinkled across the sky as if it were embroidered within the black depths. “It’s so beautiful,” Amara remarked softly, not wanting to ruin the serene moment. “And quiet. So quiet.” 

“Do you want to hold my stick?”

That beautiful moment was gone.

“Excuse me?” Amara asked disgustingly.

He jiggled the sidestick in front of them. “This stick… why? What did you think I meant?” He raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth slightly raised as if he was trying to hide his grin.

Amara gave him a dismissive stare over her shoulder. “You damn well know what I thought you meant. And you know what you were saying also. You said you were going to _behave_.”

Poe laughed as he held up his hands. “I have no idea what you are talking about.” He reached around her and grabbed onto her hands, lightly pulling them forward to rest on the stick. He wrapped his hands around hers as he leaned forward to speak gently in her ear.

“You want to imagine that this is an extension of you. Its view is yours. You pull it and the nose goes up.” He lightly pulled her hand back and they gently rose. “Push it forward and the nose drops.” He lightly pushed her hand forward, allowing them to gently descend. Amara’s breath hitched as she felt him press against her back as they fell forward. Poe steadied her hands once more so that they were flying straight. “And of course, you turn it to the left and we’ll bank left, right and we go right. Pretty straight forward.”

Amara raised her eyebrow, “You make it sound so simple.”

Poe chuckled. “That’s because it is.” 

Amara sat with him inside the cramped cockpit, her hands on the stick and his calloused hands on hers. She could feel the ship responding to their every command as they flew through the starry sky. She had never been so wholly aware of anyone else as she was at that moment. Her nerves buzzed in response to his nearness. Her back pressed up against the hardness of his chest. His thigh pressed up against hers as he adjusted himself underneath her. After a moment his chin rested on her shoulder, the coarse stubble on his skin brushing against her soft face.

“It was out here that I knew I would be a pilot,” he said softly. She could feel his breath against her ear. His thumb brushed up against the back of her hand, leaving gooseflesh in its wake. “There is nothing like the freedom of knowing that with the flick of your wrist you can go anywhere. That there was nothing that was beyond your grasp.”

“Freedom is an interesting concept,” Amara said faintly. She hadn't realized she had spoken until Poe spoke.

“Why do you say that?”

She was quiet for a long moment, her thoughts swirling through her mind. Snap’s words echoed over and over again. Words that told him that she should tell Poe about who she was. She had thought about opening up to Poe. He deserved to know who she was. If he hadn’t figured things out for himself by now, Snap would most certainly do it. She had no doubt about that man’s loyalty to his commander and knew that his patience was running out. He was a ticking time bomb that could go off at any moment.  
  
Poe’s thumb ran across the back of her hand again slowly, letting her know that he was still there, waiting for her answer.

“Have you never felt free?” he asked. She could hear the slight concern in his voice. 

She didn’t want to answer his question, so instead she looked at the stars around them. Floating against the black abyss, they stood out like beacons. She knew that they were real. That they were tangible. But she also knew that no matter how hard she tried she wouldn’t be able to touch them. They would always be just outside of her reach.

It was frustrating. 

“Don’t you feel like you’re chasing these stars instead of actually reaching them?” she said with a hint of exasperation in her voice.

Poe turned his head to look out of the A-wing. “What do you mean?”

Amara sighed, leaning her head back against his shoulder. There was nowhere else to go in the small area, so she allowed herself to fall back against him. She wished that she could say that it wasn't comforting. That she didn't secretly enjoy the feel of his warm body against her back. But if she denied how good he felt she would be branded a liar. “No matter how far you go, they never get any closer. Isn’t that... _frustrating_?”

Poe stayed silent as he looked out, his brow slightly furrowed as he seemed to process what she said. She could see that he was digesting the words, trying to figure out what words he should say in response. Eventually he broke the silence. “What stars are you chasing?”

“It was just an observation,” she said with a sigh. She had already made things awkward in the small space between them. “Just forget I said anything.”

“Do you want to know what I think?” he said quickly.

“Not really… but I figured you will tell me anyways.”

He chuckled at her response, the vibrations in his chest coming out almost as a deep purr against her back. “I think that if you spend too long chasing those insignificant stars, you will miss out on the moon sitting right in front of you.” 

“That is very philosophical of you,” she said blandly.

“I thought it was pretty good,” he said with a smirk and a shrug and she couldn’t help but smile in return. She wondered if there ever was a situation where he couldn't make the people around him smile.

“It was alright… although what is the moon in this scenario? The _resistance_?” She gave him a sideways look.

“Hey, I didn’t say the Resistance,” he said defensively. “You were the one who said the resistance, not me.”

“It was pretty obvious that you were speaking about the resistance,” she countered back.

Raising an eyebrow he placed his hand on top of hers and began to gently turn the A-wing slightly to the left. His hands were warm despite the interior of the cockpit being cold. “So you admit that the first thing you thought of was the resistance.”

Huffing loudly Amara shook her head. “What is it with you? Why are you pushing this? I already said that I didn’t want to be involved with any of this.” Didn't he get it? Why couldn't he understand? Why couldn't he just drop this? Why was this so important to him?

He straightened the ship out and let the ship continue its slow glide in the opposite direction of Yavin’s orbit. His hands did not move from hers. “I guess since I had you trapped I figured it would be easier to get you to listen to me.”

A loud sigh escaped her. “I have already listened to you. You’re the one who is not listening to me.”

“I _am _listening to you, Amara. It’s just…” he began but then stopped. She could see his reflection in front of her and she could see that his brow was furrowed. She could see that he wanted to say more but was holding back. Even in his reflection she could see the struggle he was feeling. She waited for him to continue, to say more, but he didn’t. 

They sat there, quietly looking out the glass, not saying a word to each other. She risked a glance at Poe and saw that his face was slightly hardened in thought and for a moment he reminded her of his father.

“What happened today to make you so upset?” she asked quietly.

She wasn’t sure if he was going to answer at first. He had shifted slightly in his seat and continued to look outside the glass. He had every right not to answer. She hadn’t been that forthcoming with him about herself. In all actuality she wasn’t quite sure why she was asking him what happened earlier. She was still trying to figure out why she tried to cheer him up outside the hangar.

_It’s because his anger reminded you of someone else’s. Reminded you of another person you wanted to make happy._

“Just some things that I said in my past coming back to haunt me, nothing big,” he said quietly, interrupting her thoughts.

“Was it something that you said to Leona?” Amara prodded. 

He gave a resigned sigh. “Did she tell you?”

Amara shook her head. “No. It’s just pretty obvious that there is some tension between you two. She seems like she wants to speak to you and you always find a way to leave the room.”

Poe adjusted to sit up straight in his seat. He ran his hand down the front of his face and groaned. “She has done nothing wrong. It’s me that’s been the asshole.”

“Is that why you haven’t been back here in a year?”

“Who told you that?”

“No one. The walls are pretty thin and Snap and Kare… well they like to have pillow talk after they…” she cleared her throat. Not wanting to remember what she heard the other night she just shook her head. “I just heard one of them say that it has been a year since you came back to see your family.” She tested the yolk and decided to try to move the plane slightly higher. “Is that why your father punched you when we came here?”

“He punched me for a bunch of reasons. Probably some of them I will never understand. But for the most part… yeah.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” she said slowly, her eyes looking at his reflection.

“When my mother passed it was hard on all of us,” he began slowly. “My father took it the hardest. It took him a very long time for him to even be remotely the same again. After my grandfather passed we needed more help. So my father hired Leona to help around the house. She was a friend of my mother’s so she wasn’t a stranger. When she started my father was extremely cold and frankly I am surprised that Leona put up with us. I was running around doing a lot of things that made me not very pleasurable to be around and my father was such a curmudgeonly old man that even our dog didn’t like to be around.”

“I imagine it takes a lot of patience to handle you Dameron boys,” Amara joked with a slight smile. 

Poe’s lip quirked up in a slight smirk. “Patience and perhaps a bit of sainthood,” he added.

Amara smiled and she could see Poe’s smirk shift into a full smile.

“Eventually I left to go to the academy. When I came back afterwards I saw that my father was slowly changing. He was talking more, was a little less of an asshole. I even saw him smile, which was something I hadn’t seen in _years_. I knew that Leona was to thank for that.”

“She sounds like she did wonders for your father.”

“She did. She uh… she did.” He rested his hand on his knee beside her, his thumb brushing against the side of her hand as she moved the yolk. “A couple years ago I came back and my father told me that he had asked Leona to marry him. I should have been happy for him. Leona was such an amazing woman. _Is _such an amazing woman,” he had corrected.

“How _did _you feel?”

“At first I was happy. I congratulated them both. I even helped plan their wedding. But when that wedding day finally happened… when I stood there next to my father and watched him give his vows to Leona… I couldn’t help but feel... angry.”

“Why were you angry?”

Poe ran his hands through his hair again, before letting his hand rest on the back of his neck. “I…” he began, the words seeming to leave him as he started to speak. “I don’t know. I-I-I don’t know. I mean… I love Leona. She is an amazing woman. She is probably the nicest person you will ever meet in your entire life. There was no reason for me to be angry.”

“It’s because your mother was officially erased.”

His gaze turned to her. He didn’t say anything. Just looked at her as if she had just said something that hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“I don’t mean erased,” Amara corrected. “But… your mom is with you and your father in your hearts. And to see your father finally moving on… it was another piece of her that was leaving. It was as if your father was replacing her with Leona.”

She saw his jaw clench, his gaze flicker before turning away from hers. “I… I didn’t…” he paused again, momentarily speechless.

“It… it sounded like your father grieved. But… it’s a good thing that he is opening his heart to someone else. And it seems like Leona has been amazing.”  
  
“I may not be the best person to be giving you this advice. However… maybe it would be good for you to sit down and talk with Leona. I have a feeling that she is thinking a lot of the same things as you. She doesn’t seem like someone who would want to replace your mother.”

Poe shook his head. “I don’t blame her. I didn’t say she _wanted _to replace my mother.”

“I know, but I bet she still feels that way.”

Poe grit his teeth, his eyes staring off into the blackness of space. Silence filled the air between them. After a while Poe spoke. “I just don’t know how to make things right. I don’t even know how to start.”

His words sounded tired and defeated. Amara looked down at his hand that was resting on his leg beside hers. Reaching out she took his hand in hers. “You can start by saying, ‘I’m sorry’.”

* * *

Snap glanced out the window of his room and watched as the A-wing flew up into the sky from the hangar that Poe and Amara walked into. Turning, he waited for the person on the other line to come into view.

_“Snap? I received your message. You sounded urgent.”_

General Leia Organa’s holographic image stood in front of Snap. Her brows were furrowed in confusion as she the pilot. 

“It is general. I had some concerns that I wanted to address with you.” 

_“Why aren’t you bringing these concerns up with your commander?”_

“That’s the thing General… my concerns have to do with him and with that woman we found on the ship. She is not who she says she is.”


End file.
